My boyfriend got drunk and told me he was raped

14 Comments

My boyfriend of three years, he's 26, and I, got super super drunk one night at his place. We were fooling around and ended up having sex, while cuddling in bed all sweaty and stuff he just flat out told me "A soldier used to make me sleep with him when I was 12 and 14". (He used to live in Kazakhstan) This sobered me up enough to remember him saying it but he hasn't said anything sense then about it or the night.

I'm, in all selfishness, incredibly turned off by this, and frankly a bit disgusted he would wait this long to tell me. It's too sickening to bring up again, but I can't even look at him the same now. I know I'm being selfish and shallow, but I can't help the way I feel. I don't know what to do, I've just been avoiding him the whole week.

Dump him, and tell him why. 0
Don't dump him, and pretend nothing happened. 2
Don't dump him, but talk about what happened. 3
Dump him, but don't tell him why. 1
He should dump you. 7
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Comments ( 14 )
  • itsamistake
    7 years ago

    Tried to post this before and because of this site's new arrangements (which are fucked) didn't get through, so if this comes up twice, I apologise in advance.

    What an incredibly shallow person you are.

    This poor guy went through a traumatic rape and when he had to get wasted in order to tell you, your response is to be disgusted and want to drop him?

    Fucking shame on you, however he deserves better than you.

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  • charli.m
    7 years ago

    If a man said this about a woman, there'd be so much hate...

    It IS incredibly selfish of you. He went through something so traumatic that he could only tell you when he was off his face. Like the feelings he has himself wouldn't be crippling enough...

    Would you like to have someone who is supposed to love you feel disgusted with you if you were raped as a child?

    Jesus some people are horrid.

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    • edwininthematrix
      7 years ago

      its a typical mindset, woman all the time say things like they want a man who doesn't overly share his feelings and isn't a drama queen and so its understandable why the OP would want a man who she knows can be that solid rock and pull her together when she's feeling like an emotional wreck. She doesn't want to be the one doing his job for him, easy to see. What's so wrong about a woman wanting her man to be the strong and stable one in the relationship.

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      • HTAEDotIDU
        7 years ago

        @ edwininthematrix - Why should guys always have to be "the rock" to parasitic bitches that refuse to pull their own weight? Why is it "his job"? Where the hell is he supposed to go if he might need support? Is he supposed to just "suck it up" like everything else in life? No wonder men live shorter lives than women! If she cannot and/or will not offer equivalent value to what she demands, I say kick her parasitic cunt ass to the curb!

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        • HTAEDotIDU
          7 years ago

          With many modern females being economic and emotional leeches that are unwilling and/or unable to give the equivalent value of what they demand and take, it's no wonder many guys see them as pussy and ass and nothing more!

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      • charli.m
        7 years ago

        No, it's not understandable.

        You're not even consistent with the two comments you've put here.

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        • edwininthematrix
          7 years ago

          I'm sorry that you are sexually frustrated as a result of being attracted to gay men.

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          • charli.m
            7 years ago

            Wow. Logic is strong with you, apparently.

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  • mandoorhandhookcardoor
    7 years ago

    It'd be normal to be disgusted by the fact that this happened to him, but you are actually fucking disgusting yourself if that's not the case. If you "dumped" him, it'd be for his own good.

    I highly suspect this is a troll though (OP may even be Male themselves, meaning to "test" Men's Rights or whatever with this; as I've seen been done here before, in the same/similar style)

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  • HTAEDotIDU
    7 years ago

    A typical cunt bitch - he reveals something horrible that happened to him when he was a kid that probably eats away at him and his sense of self and YOU, selfish CUNT BITCH turns into being ALL ABOUT YOU and your WORTHLESS CUNT BITCH FWEEWINGS! No wonder men don't "open up"!! Early adolescence is one of the most significant periods in a person's life with regard to the formation of what will become their adult identity. He should dump an immature unempathetic self centered CUNT like you!

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  • SpookyPancake
    7 years ago

    Look, he didn't fucking cheat on you. HE WAS RAPED AS A CHILD! He's brave enough to share this thing with you, hoping you will support him, and you go "yuck". How do you think he feels? How he's supposed to make it up for you, go back in time and get unraped?

    How would you feel if some sick pervert robbed you of childhood, giving you nightmares and flashbacks for the rest of your life, making sure you will never feel safe again, warping your sense of self, and then when you find a boyfriend and tell him, to have someone support you, he said "Yuck. Now you are tainted and I don't want you."

    He should dump your shallow ass. You don't deserve him.

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  • MR.mr
    7 years ago

    I don't have any advice for this made you feel personally but as for your poll which some answers suggest bringing it up I'd say no to that. It's his horror if he want to tell you he will, let his secrect stay his until he's ready and if he never is than so be it as well.

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  • Faceless
    7 years ago

    Ive heard stories of women telling their boyfriend that they were raped and the boyfriend just gets repulsed and turned off by their gf so its not an exclusively abnormal reaction.

    You do feel bad for feeling this way so at least youre not a complete monster.

    I think its understandable in a sense that even a normal girl would be turned off if there bf told them of previous homosexual relationship they had. In the case of your partner it just happened it was not consensual. Still kind of the same.

    You guys should talk about this.

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    • User-name
      6 years ago

      He was raped. I understand being disgusted by that alone, what sane person wouldn't be? I strongly think they need to talk about this when he's ready to open up soberly.

      Until then she should keep it to herself and not judge her boyfriend for something he had no control over.

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