My boyfriend gets so paranoid i can't function?

We've been together for six months, and he thinks I'll cheat on him. He will literally look through my phone until the battery dies, and he texts numbers on my phone pretending to be me.
For example, when we're chilling with other people and I'm doing my homework, he'll text me saying "I pay more attention than you think." When I ask him wtf he's talking about, he normally claims I was looking at someone. I can't even look to see if I'm Putting a cigarette out in the ashtray or the table! And if I miss and ash the cherry on the table because of this, he accuses me of getting distracted by someone or checking someone out! I don't know what he wants from me. I can't even look at someone to hand me a lighter. Hes not satisfied unless I'm staring at HIM (my bf) the whole night! I can't do anything, not even simple tasks. When we leave, he'll ask "we're you looking at that guy?" I say "no," and he says "Why would you bullshit me like that? I can't trust you." When I ask him what he means, he'll be like "you looked at him when you handed him the lighter!" And I'll be like "yes, I glanced at him, but I wasn't checking him out." Then he's like "I said looking, not checking out. Technically you looked." He even makes me tell him the sequence of events of the whole night, and if I forget one tiny detail he says I intentionally left it out! He makes me tally up the number of times I looked at someone. If I forget one, he thinks I'm lying. He'll say, "tell me each time you looked at that guy tonight" and if I forget that I asked him to hand me my pencil or something, he says that "my stories don't add up" and then it invalidates my whole account of the night.
I fucked one guy when we were a "thing." The guy I had sex with got me completely blasted on everclear (he told me it was vodka) and took advantage of me. Me and my bf weren't even exclusive at the time, but because I told my bf I wouldn't fuck the guybefore the guy drove me home, he doesn't trust me. The last thing I remember my bf saying before I left with the guy was "if you Fuck him, I just want you to tell me." I told him the next day and he freaked out.
I tell him everything; he has unlimited access to my phone; he knows all my passwords, everything. I have nothing to hide, and I didn't mind since it made him feel more secure.
He gets irritated when I wear short skirts or shorts; he'll tell me "your pussy's hanging out" or he'll ask me why I'm 'spreading my legs' because he thinks I'm showing someone my crotch or something. He makes up these scenarios where I like people and we somehow communicate with our eyes?? Like "you're looking at someone, I know he's showing off his dick for you." Or "he put emphasis on the word fuck, so he's flirting with you."
I haven't ducked anyone since we decided to officially be a couple; is this normal? What can I do to make him more secure? All I want to do is prove to him I'm not interested in other people and don't Want to fuck anyone else.

Voting Results
18% Normal
Based on 57 votes (10 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 19 )
  • AbnormallyAwesome

    Get out. Now.
    You're with a psycho.
    Break up and change all your passwords.
    Your boyfriend shouldn't have access to your phone and he shouldn't tell you who to look at. Just because you're in a relationship doesen't mean you don't find other people attractive. If he doesen't want to trust you there's no point in being with him.

    Sorry, I'm usually not this extreme but you're in an abusive relationship and don't seem to realise it. So I tell you as clear as I can: GET OUT.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • rightkindofpasta

      I didn't consent; I wasn't even able to consent, nor was it my decision to get that fucked up. Even after I was, I didn't give him my permission. He just got me too drugged up to figure out what to do

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • AbnormallyAwesome

        I'm not sure what you're talking about now, sorry.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • rightkindofpasta

          Sorry dude, meant to reply to the poster above you.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • AbnormallyAwesome

            Oh, okay ^^

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • laylaashton

    no offence id dump him, dont be with someone who cant trust you. it seems like he has insecurity issues, he sounds emotionally abusive.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • rightkindofpasta

    Don't matter we broke up, he left me

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Dreamsao

      Good cuz he sounds like a dick

      Comment Hidden ( show )
    • AbnormallyAwesome

      Dodged a bullet, I'd say.
      I'd advice going for a nice guy next time. I know I'm repeating myself, but your boyfriend was a total psycho.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Tealights

    This is normal in an abusive relationship. You got to end it, because it'll only get worse.

    Also, his behavior is not your fault. Abusers are testers. They push your buttons and see how far you'll comply to their demands or how much you'll try to fit their ridiculously, unrealistically high expectations. Some even go as far as planning out scenarios to see if you make the "right" choice, so I wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend knew that guy who lied about what you were drinking and took advantage of you.

    You got to end that relationship. If not, this guy will destroy your self-esteem, and make you afraid to even leave the house. Everywhere you go, you'll have to walk with your head down like a scared child. Do you really want that?

    Sadly, I let my abusive ex do this shit to me for 8 horrible months; I even had the sense to break up with him 6 months in when his crazy got real bad, but took him back because I didn't know abusers did that beg and grovel crap to manipulate you back into the relationship, even if it was them who broken up with you. So please be careful. When abusers feel they're losing control, they will cry, beg, promise to change, and actually pretend they changed FOR A WEEK or so, then go right back to being crazy as fuck or worse. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SirChazwick

    You both sound really immature and neither of you should be in a relationship. Your boyfriend seems super insecure and is controlling because of it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • JrPanda

    I don't know how old you are, but you do realize that the guy that got you wasted and took advantage of you could get in serious trouble. Even if you said yes, you were mentally impaired and in no state to be consenting. What that man did to you is RAPE and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If I were you I would alert authorities! At least let all of your friends know not to accept drinks from him or they will end up in the same position. Also about your boyfriend, I am so sorry. I went through an abusive relationship so similar to the one you described! I am also very very glad that you got out, because once you get so deep it becomes something that you wanna prove to them that you are not what they think, and you think that you can change them. It wont get better and it could end very dangerously for you! What starts as verbal abuse will quickly turn physical as it did in my situation. Also I don't think that your boyfriend should be so upset about what happened between you and that other guy, for two reasons. 1. You and him were not dating at the time, so you owed him no loyalty. And 2. You were Raped, taken advantage of! There was nothing you could have done to stop it. You were the victim. Don't beat yourself up saying that "I should have known better than to accept his drinks" or "I shouldn't have rode home with him". You were lied to about the contents of the drink and were used! That guy that did that to you is a real scum bag and you have no fault in this dear. You were just handed the short end of a very very crummy stick! God bless you and take care of yourself!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Xenos_Sat

    He sounds like a total psycho.. You sound very immature yourself so basically grow up before you get into a serious relationship

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SaltySaltster

    You are a skank

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • JrPanda

      And you are illiterate! How do you deduce that this young lady is a skank? She was taken advantage of by two people, one sexually abusing her and the second emotionally abusing her. You are a low life troll, with nothing better to do than insult people you don't know to make yourself feel better about your own pathetic life.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • yesnomaybeso

    HE seems very abusive. I swear he is not normal, what are you even doing with him? This is not a normal relationship, i don't understand how you waited six months....

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Terence_the_viking

    I see spaces but they are not big enough to decipher code.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Don'tEatMySandwich

    If he doesn't trust you, he doesn't love you. Throw him away and find a better person.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Leonard_Hatred_

    Nothing about your post sounds remotely normal. Get out while you can.

    Comment Hidden ( show )