My boyfriend doesn't want to look nice for me anymore.

81% Normal
6 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 years now, I met him when he was 20. When I first met him I found him incredibly attractive. He had gorgeous hair, he was fairly fit, he always dressed nice. I admit I was more attracted to him sexually too because of it. But over the course of the 7 years, he really let himself go. He got overweight, he never does his hair anymore (he even grew it out too long at one point), he has facial hair, that goes unshaved for weeks sometimes, and he wears junky clothes. Of course I fell in love with him for more than just his looks, but he refuses to look nice anymore. Or even bother trying. I tell him how much I like it when he does his hair, at least, but he thinks he's too old for it. We watched some home videos of him when he was 19 and I totally swooned over the videos, but he keeps telling me he'll never look like that again. It's like right after he got with me, he stopped being like he used to. Now close to 30, I'd love to be able to look good for him, while he also looks good for me too. I'm not expecting him to lose weight just for me or try and be 20 again, I just want to know he'll look nice for me. It may sound superficial, but I haven't stayed with him this long because of his looks. I want him to be healthy and look healthy, not...like a slob.

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 100 votes (81 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • georgienne
    12 years ago

    I wouldn't dare use sexual favors.
    You need to approach him and tell him, just like you told us: you've let yourself go, I'd appreciate you putting effort into your appearance. Get him in for a haircut, chuck out him clothes and bring him to the gym/run/bike/hike.
    Don't take excuses; you do your best to look good for him. Hell, I'd stop shaving until he starts again.
    Don't lure him with anything (especially sex), no one should be rewarded for keeping up a respectable appearance.
    Make your concerns known and make sure he hears them.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • BoredGuy
      12 years ago

      What i said is what worked with me. What you said is what didn't.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • lsuccv
    12 years ago

    My husband was like this too. Unfortunately I think its just one of those things that happens. They put the effort in first and then once they've got you its all over. It is sad that he won't even make an effort, just to feel good about himself even. Is he depressed?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • BoredGuy
    12 years ago

    You are kind of right for this. He should at least put an effort into it, its natural that he wont look 20 any more, but he can improve himself.

    Iin order to do that he need a good wake up call, one that usually comes when you lost who you love, and at this case you.

    Now I think you don't wanna come down to that but you also don't wanna push it, in a way that you seem superficial (well, we are are a bit superficial, but I think you admire more stuff from him, to be with him for 7years :) ). So... you should directly tell him that you are not turned on by his look anymore just his mind, but you missed the animalistic urge to have sex with him, and that you would appreciate an effort to improve himself.

    Promising him sexual favors in return, altho i know after 7years you 2 did everything :P but sure there is something you can do to get that spark-lust back, and motivate him :D Also another addition altho optional, try to semi-hold back sex (not stop all together!) but compensate him for the effort. (ye, we are like dogs with cookies :P)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • BoredGuy
      12 years ago

      Striptease and sextease is a nice rewards and i'm sure after all this time you are not into it regularly any more ;)

      Something that i forgot, be specific and clear in what would like him to put an effort into (as men CAN'T and WON'T read minds) but try not to hurt his ego and his self esteem. Give him some nc complements on how he did look and/or tell him that he good at sex or that he have a big dick etc, (you know, stuff that will make him feel like a man :P).

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0