My boyfriend doesn't like me dressing like a tomboy

Notice: he has absolutely no problem with the way I am; playing lots of PC games (we are both huge gamers), being a bit childish (I love Pokemon and Lego) and having very few female friends. The problem comes to when I "dress the part". I used to dress quite feminine, however I never felt very secure doing it. Then, about six months ago I cut my hair short, probably the most satisfying thing I've ever done. Then I shopped for a new wardrobe (and borrowed some from my brothers). Now I feel at peace, just right, and I wonder why I didn't do this earlier.
The only problem is that my boyfriend feels very uncomfortable with my new style. We met about two years ago and at that time I had long hair and dressed in skirts and dresses quite often. He never really liked me cutting my hair and asks when I will grow it back (my answer: not for a long while, and then a short page at its best).
The thing is, I don't really dress down, like wearing over sized t-shirts and jogging pants every day. I really like the preppy style with oxford shirts, chinos, wool cardigans/pullovers, club blazers and top siders. Which is a style my boyfriend also dresses after. But he still wants me to be his female equivalent, that is, in dresses and heels. He sometimes jokes about if people see us together they will think he is gay (note: that HE is gay, not that we are a gay couple). Although joking, he's said it a number of times there's a grain of truth emerging.
If I would ever care about someone else's opinion, it is his and it is weighing down on me. But the only thing he wants me to do, is the one thing I can't do.

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 61 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dom180

    You should be yourself, and someone who won't support you in expressing yourself is dead weight.

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  • ThisIsImpossible

    Eh, fuck that man, do what you want youre better this way he can get over it or not, his problem not yours. Dont let anyone make you feel insecure just to fit their own tastes,

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  • la_uva_mojada

    He's worried you're turning into some butch dyke.. tell me to cool it

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  • robbieforgotpw

    I like a handsome woman with a butch cut.
    Shorts to her knees...very sexy

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  • Mersaphe

    I can totally sympathize with him. Any guy would want their girlfriend to look sexy in a cute dress or skirt, long or medium length hair, and high heels. I mean what guy wouldn't love that. But as you say being a girly girl doesn't gel with your personality. That's fine and acceptable. The one thing I have an issue with is always dressing and acting like a tomboy. Sometimes you should give yourself and your guy a treat by dressing up more fancy and feminine. If you don't like doing that then save it for special occasions, he will love that. And just because you're occasionally dressing girly doesn't mean you have to change your personality. You could be wearing a dress and heels with your hair done and makeup, and still act like a tomboy. Remember men are visual creatures

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  • pinotgrigi-ho

    Sounds like his insecurity, the way he words what people think about HIM, not you as a couple. If he can't get over who you are as a whole, might be time to move on.

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  • crion

    A woman that doesn't wear six inch high heels in bed doesn't deserve a boyfriend in the first place.

    Outside the bedroom, you do what you want. Men like women to dress provocatively for two reasons:

    1) They want to look. Duh.
    2) They want to show off.

    If he can't bear to be with you if you aren't walking around on stilts with a miniskirt, maybe he's not the best man for you. But, if you want to please him, try to find a style that suits you and comes off as sexy. You don't have to wear conventional girly clothing to draw attention.

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  • thegypsysailor

    I agree with everything said above.
    On the other hand, I've got a very pretty girl friend who wears shorts, wife beaters and topsiders 99% of the time (we live on a boat). She looks great for day to day wear, but when we go out to dinner, for instance, I'd like her to dress up a bit sexier. No heels, make up or anything like that, but I did buy her a really sexy "lil black dress" which she's never worn in public. It's completely MY ego thing; a dude showing off his hot GF, and trust me, she always looks pretty good in casual attire anyway, so I make no issue of it.

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  • Mersaphe

    I would have said not normal until I saw that he's gay. Don't judge me I'm not prejudiced

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