My boyfriend doesn’t want sex?

50% Normal

I’m 21 and my boyfriend is 26 and we have been dating for about 4 months now. I expressed I wanted to have sex with him but he’s entirely against it. I like him a lot and see nothing wrong with physically intimacy but he says 4 months isn’t long enough to start having sex. He said he’s doing this to show me respect and that we should wait. I entirely understand and appreciate he loves me that much. He also expresses how he wants a future with me and doesn’t want it based off us being physical. But I can’t help but be horny, toys aren’t working and I want some action. I try to convince him but he thinks me wanting sex is me being impatient and that he’s not giving me enough attention. It makes me feel guilty but I don’t know what to do. I even thought maybe he was cheating on me but I’d like to think he’s just an honest gentleman. So how do I solve my problem ?

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50% Normal

Based on 16 votes (8 yes)

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Comments ( 43 )

litelander8

3 years ago

That’s odd.. I personally think physical intimacy is 60% of a relationship. What if y’all are 7 months in and the sex is terrible and he continues to not want it? Then y’all would not be compatible.

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- PleaseTalkToMe
  
  3 years ago
  
  Tf all men are shit at sex thats why most women dont orgasm through penetration and are gay
  
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  - SkullsNRoses
    
    3 years ago
    
    If you’re a lesbian why do you care so much about the pitfalls of straight sex?
    
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  - litelander8
    
    3 years ago
    
    Get the fuck out of here.
    
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- LloydAsher
  
  3 years ago
  
  I had a problem finding a girl with the same sex drive as me. I felt like an asshole for the longest time to my ex. Now I'm with someone with my equal sex drive.
  
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  - litelander8
    
    3 years ago
    
    Same. My ex of 7 years rarely wanted to fuck. It really was the downfall to us. I thought it was my fault. But the reality is some of us are little hoes and some are not. My dude and I are very much on the same page in the bedroom (and anywhere else) and it is very rad.
    
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    - LloydAsher
      
      3 years ago
      
      My girl is seriously into the controlling master lifestyle. She gets wet if I whisper in her ear to sit up straight in a restaurant. Im only begining to like doing this treatment, since I'm not naturally like that.
      
      She has SERIOUS daddy issues and I imagine that's were that kink is steming from. But that's what gets her off so I'm conflicted as fuck doing it to her.
      
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mouldiwarp

3 years ago

There’s no problem here, be patient and respect his desires and comfort too.

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ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet

3 years ago

"So how do I solve my problem?"

Wait.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Obviously I don’t want to wait. Or at least want to find something to satisfy me. SOMETHING not someone
  
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  - ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
    
    3 years ago
    
    If you're that desperate. Snort some cocaine before you masterbate, it increases your stimuli.
    
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trexagireve

3 years ago

That is bullshit if he wants to show you respect he should lock himself in a chastity device and give you the key, he probably isn't able to get an erection and that's why he is avoiding it

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Lies, I’ve given him head.
  
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  - trexagireve
    
    3 years ago
    
    Then he is just saving his cum for the other girls, lock him in chastity to find out if he loves you
    
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    - SkullsNRoses
      
      3 years ago
      
      And I’ve found the chastity cage troll, at last!
      
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Somenormie

3 years ago

Yes what you're referring to is consent and he does not want it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  I’m giving him my consent 😭
  
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  - Clunk42
    
    3 years ago
    
    I don't think you get what's being said here. You are giving him your consent, but he is not giving you his. I believe what Somenormie's trying to say is to stop asking, because he simply doesn't want to. Essentially, you're pestering him for his consent, and you should just stop, as he's not giving it to you.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      3 years ago
      
      Well he just gave it to me 😌 so disregard the post.
      
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my_life_my_way

3 years ago

Just have sex with someone else and keep the boyfriend as well. If he doesn’t find out then everyone is happy.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago | pl
  
  Yeah no. He’s a great guy I’d never cheat on him. As bad as I want sex I want it from him. Not just a random fuck.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    3 years ago
    
    Perhaps tell him you'll break up with him if he doesn't want sex? There's no point in staying with someone you're incompatible with.
    
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CDmale4fem

3 years ago

Then hes getting it somewhere else.

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PleaseTalkToMe

3 years ago

Clearly a troll

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Who’s a troll ?
  
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  - PleaseTalkToMe
    
    3 years ago
    
    You
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      3 years ago
      
      Whatfuckingever
      
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      - PleaseTalkToMe
        
        3 years ago
        
        Retard
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        3 years ago
        
        Cunt
        
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EnglishLad

3 years ago

If you want to eliminate the idea that he's cheating on you, set up some hidden cameras in every room of your house for a month.

If he is cheating, you have evidence to confront him with.
If he isn't, you have a foundation of trust to build from.

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[Old Memory]

3 years ago

Not normal.

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YE

3 years ago

"I expressed I wanted to have sex with him..."

Start doing things that sexually stimulate him. Put your hand down his pants already!

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olderdude-xx

3 years ago

Have a discussion with him about why he has his standards.

Is it that he has a religious understanding that he should wait until marriage (or engagement), etc. Some people are like that; and admittedly I was like that in my later teenage years (and the conflict with my physical desires and my "religious standards" led me to almost commit suicide - and I rethought my standards and relaxed them as I worked out of that situation.

Or is it that he doesn't feel any need for sex, and this is more of a convenient excuse; or something else?

If he has no sex drive - you might wish to have his testosterone level checked. It might be OK, or it might be abnormally low - in which case that can be treated (however, it is likely to make him sterile while he takes Testosterone even though it will likely ignite his sex drive).

If his testosterone level is normal and he has no sex drive - then the two of you have some decision to make. He may be the most decent guy in the world - but you may need an active sex partner. That does not mean you cannot marry him - just the he would have to agree to an open marriage (with rules) so you can be sexually satisfied too.

Note on open marriages: Lots of research on this (and at least 5% of marriages are open). Those with real consideration of various issues and solid rules tend to work long term. Those without rules (a free for all) tend to fail. There are books on the issues and the types of things you need to come to an agreement on - and the need for really good communication. Let me know if you want some book titles (I don't have them handy now).

I wish you the best with this...

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DeletThis

3 years ago

How much porn does he watch?

Or are y'all muslim or something?

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- EnglishLad
  
  3 years ago
  
  Watching porn doesn't detract from someone's sex drive in my opinion. It just changes your brain to get turned on by more niche stuff.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  He probably watches porn everyday . Neither of us are Muslim
  
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  - DeletThis
    
    3 years ago
    
    Ah, that explains it then.
    
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Tommythecaty

3 years ago

He’s busy with other girls.

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Are You Normal?

My boyfriend doesn’t want sex?