My boyfriend cheated 4 times in 4 months!! help!

15% Normal
34 Comments

My boyfriend (lets say his name is James)has cheated on me four times with the same girl (some were worse than others). The first time I found out was not long after Christmas and I realized he was gaurding his phone and actin all wierd, so I asked him if I could see it and after stalling for over an hour, he finally gave it to me and I found a picture of a girl on there(lets say her name is Ashley). When I asked him about it he claimed he liked to keep pictures of all his friends. Catching on to his bull***, I said "Well where's (lets say his best friends name is sam) Sam?" He said "I don't know, I haven't had enough time to get one yet. (seeing as to how he recently got a new phone)" So i replied: "But you had the time to get this random girl?!" I told him to remove the picture and never to lie to me again. All was well for a few weeks until I decided to have a friend over. (lets say her name is Mary) Mary said that my boyfriend James texted her saying he was having secound thoughts about our relationship.(I'll go ahead and mention he told her this the day my sister went missing and he was aware of my stress and worry for her)Little by little all of his sectrets and lies came out over the next few weeks. Turns out, he was kissing on ashley, gave her a necklace that was almost an exact replica to the one he gave me, and told her he would rather be with her than me. He was told to choose me or her. He chose me. We eventually worked out those issues. He was then told never to talk to Ashley again. About two weeks later I found out he was talking to her again and I told him I was leaving him if it ever happened again, only to find out he had talked to her again one week later. So after all of this I have put him on a break so I can think and he can staighten up. Is it normal for me to still love him after all this has happened? Is it normal for a guy to behave this way? I know he loves me, and I love him but is there even a slim chance he will change and treat me with honesty and respect like a real man?

Voting Results
15% Normal
Based on 108 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 34 )
  • aussiewolf
    13 years ago

    people dont change. he will keep cheating on you. break it off completely and find a guy who will respect you.

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    Just dump him already and find someone better :-)

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    Men don't respect doormats. And why would he change if you're letting him get away with it?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Girllllll u gave him way too many chances alreadii I applaud u for bein able to take so damn much but it's time to leAve that fool who doesn't seem to recognize what a tolerable and greAt girl u are

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  • SSGMACRET
    13 years ago

    I am 28 and my wife cheated six years ago... It still hurts.... I should have never came back, that is my biggest regret... Once a cheater always a cheater... You are NOT the exception!

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    • cami0423
      13 years ago

      thanks:)

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    I'm not even gonna read this. Dump him. The end. :)

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  • DefinitelyNotNormal89
    13 years ago

    And you're still with him because...?

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    No. No chance.

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  • redrosesinspace
    11 years ago

    Three simple words: Dump his ass.

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  • DollyBoots
    11 years ago

    Your am idiot if you stay with him. Guys like that are completely not worth it :/.

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  • slothdud
    11 years ago

    thats a good question and good topic... a guy should never ever cheat even one time though so thats not normal... well saying that you still love him is normal i mean seeing that you put up with all this crap just shows the bond you had with him... or you would have left the first time. idk if it would be right to give this guy another chance but if you did i pray that this guy would treat you right. But if he doesnt then i promise its not the end of the world and that many better guys out there. :) good luck hate hearing stories like this and im gonna have to go not normal all the way :P get a guy that will treat you with love and someone you trust.. this guy might love you but he seems to love other women as well. you should ask yourself before going back to him if you can put up with him doing this yet again. there is always hope in this world but if he didnt stop after the first time then he doesnt care enough :(

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  • ArthurS.fan
    11 years ago

    If I were you, I would break up with him when he cheated on me for the first time. If he cheated once, he might cheat on you again. You cant be sure if he'll keep his promise or not. And sorry to tell you this but if he truly loved you, he wouldnt have cheated on you. You should get over it and break up with him. I am sure you'll find better ones.

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  • lilaithe
    11 years ago

    So did you break up with him yet or what? Flirting with girls is a no-no, kissing them gets a boot up the asshole. Respect yourself honey, there are plenty of guys out there that will respect you and treat you like you should be treated. Letting this happen makes you come off as desperate with low self esteem, especially if your friends know about it. Is that who you want to be?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    After reading the first two lines I can already tell you that this is not normal and you should just move on. You obviously love him to post even more than two lines to make up excuses for him, but unfortunately I don't think he loves you the same way. Whatever it is, I came to the conclusion that you should dump him because NO ONE deserves to be cheated on FOUR times. No ifs, ands, or buts... which means that the rest of your story beyond the first two lines was unnecessary.

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  • Ispeakknowledge
    13 years ago

    your obvioussly attracted to assholes, if he was bein nice to you all the time you would probly get bored of him!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Bartholomew
    13 years ago

    Introduce his face to your fist. Maybe they'll have better luck.

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  • rayst
    13 years ago

    Some ppl are so naive and have no self respect, stay with him, it seems like you love being cheated on.

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  • SolarWind
    13 years ago

    girll.....break it up already. If you let him once he will do it again.

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  • shittydaughter
    13 years ago

    Break up with his stupid ass, he doesn't deserve you!

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  • moomus
    13 years ago

    I took my b/f back after he cheated, for the sake of my kids. But he did it again. He won't change. Do better for yourself.

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  • spiffy
    13 years ago

    A leopard never changes it's spots

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  • queenb_yup
    13 years ago

    Get away from him! Let em get away with that crap once and they will do it over and over

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  • TyLee
    13 years ago

    Sorry but he doesn't really love you if he acted that way

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  • Tancho
    13 years ago

    If he truly loved you he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place, end of. As others have said you're letting him treat you like a doormat and forgiving him every tine he cheats - he's just going to keep doing it.

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  • charity
    13 years ago

    People cant do anything to you unless you let them... You have let this go on too long... Dump him and find someone who respects and loves you.

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  • 343Boy
    13 years ago

    It would have made it easier for the both of you if you hadn't given him a choice. It's clear that he's not going to change for you, just let them have each other.

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  • aussiewolf
    13 years ago

    so how is going on a break going to prove anything? you wont be together so technically he can do whoever he likes... and you know he will. there is no point in giving cheaters a chance and you have already given him 4... dont you see? he has cheated on you 4 times.... 4 times too many if you ask me and i am sure most people will agree with me. he is going to keep cheating on you because you keep putting up with it. seriously, he is not going to change.

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    • cami0423
      13 years ago

      i told him this break is for proving himfelf and their were strict rules. so its not a break up its just a break. and we can still talk and hangout but nothing more than friends untill im confident hes changed and if there are not major improvements in two monthes im breaking it off.

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      • robbieforgotpw
        11 years ago

        Any update? Looks like I'm a late replier(sp?)

        He'll make you think he has changed but will continue cheating. It doesn't sound like he's committed to you, does it?. Any selfish man would hang on to guaranteed sex like he has.

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  • cami0423
    13 years ago

    update: i put him on a break for the next couple monthes so he can prove to me that he can change and if he hasnt then i will have had the distance i need to leave him. is this acceptable and fair enough?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I've been through something similar and yes I know it's hard but let go. Don't let him bring you Down have a movie night with a group of friends and try forgetting it soon enough you'll be happy trust me it may take you a while to forget him but you will I promise :) keep your head up make him realize what he had and what he lost for his own stupidity

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  • Hard_Candy
    13 years ago

    Let's say nobody gives a fuck.

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    • cami0423
      13 years ago

      if you didnt care y did u comment asshole?!

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