My boyfriend babies me

71% Normal
34 Comments

My boyfriend babies me a lot. I'm 19 and he is 24. He doesn't like me going out after dark (I agreed I wouldn't, but I think it's okay) because he says it's too dangerous and someone could hurt me, even if I'm with other people (unless I'm with like my dad in a car). If I forget to call him and fall asleep or something, he gets REALLY worried that something happened to me. He doesn't like me to wear even slightly revealing clothes out but he says it's for my safety, not because he's jealous. He likes to do motherly things like pick me up, cradle me, tuck me in and tickle me. He calls me his baby girl, his little baby, and stuff like that. If I get a nosebleed, he gets sooo bothered and won't let me move around too much. If I get a cut he makes a fuss and puts bandages on it for me. He won't let me not wear a helmet if we go bicycling. He never lets me carry anything heavy and he is always warning me when there's like a curb or something. I admit I AM a bit of a klutz but I'm not THAT bad.

BUT. I actually LOVE it. I'm kinda (understatement..) clingy so when he babies me it makes me feel good. I'd be sad if he didn't. But other people like my family seem to think it's weird and have hinted that its controlling. Sometimes I wonder if I should be more independent... especially with things like going out and clothes. Is it normal for him to baby me this much?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 437 votes (310 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 34 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    I don't think he's controlling you for the sake of "controling" you. It does seem like he's controlling you in a way out of love for you, not controlling you for the power. The way he takes care of you and doesn't want you to do things he can do for you shows that he is not controlling you for power, more so looking out for you.

    In my opinion, this is kind of cute...Yes, I said it. ItDuz finds something cute, sue me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    6
    6
      -
    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      It doesn't really surprise me that you think this is cute, actually.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • TheBunnie
    11 years ago

    This is so, SO ADORABLE.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • FocoUS
    11 years ago

    It's normal to care for your other's safety but he goes a little too far. It kinda seems like he has anxiety. Does he show worry for people other than you? Does he baby his friends or family? Does he follow some of the safety rules himself? Do you live in a bad neighborhood? Sometimes I don't go out at night alone either.

    I do really think he likes you and that's sweet but if he is controlling you might want to have a serious conversation with him.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • REvEnGE
    11 years ago

    it is 'love'

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    If you guys are happy with the arrangement then I see no issue with it. I know women who are with guys like this and it's cool to them. It's not necessarily my style, as my husband understands that I like my freedom, but if you're the type that likes being looked out for than I'd say that the two of you are set.

    Just so long as he doesn't inhibit you from being independent. Like say, if you want to go to another college or get a certain job. As long as he can respect your choices then I wouldn't feel the need to change anything. He'll probably do well with kids.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • pambambam
    11 years ago

    I think he sees you as his wife to be. When a man feels overprotective is likely to be because hes serious about you. As long as you dont feel hes taking over or being harmful you should be fine.It sounds cute, not creepy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • DollyBoots
    11 years ago

    My boyfriend is like that too. I'm sure it wears off over time though(:

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    my boyfriend used to be like this when we first dated, now he has backed off a bit, but is still very protective. Some guys (especially alpha type men) are just more protective than others.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • GuessWho
    11 years ago

    It sounds like he really cares for your safety, but at this level it's a bit obsessive.

    If you spend a lot of time apart, then you should probably try be more independent, but if you're mostly together and you like it, I don't see a reason to stop.

    The way he see it...He's just protecting what's precious to him. If it's not preventing you from having a normal life, it may be best he keeps it up.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It sounds kind of disrespectful of you, like he doesn't trust you that you can take care of yourself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I agree. It might be cute for a while, but this really doesn't sound like an equal relationship. The cuddling and such is fine, but the controlling/worrying parts send up massive red flags.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • Jimbobasaur
    10 years ago

    Don't be with with a control freak. Why would you want to live like that? It's like inequality.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    When you say baby, does he make you wear diapers and he changes you? Does he bottle feed and then burp you?

    I dont know I dont really understand this at all.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Hussainthemvp
    11 years ago

    Well its a HUGE sign he loves you

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • fartonmyface
    11 years ago

    Sounds to me like he just really cares about you. You said it yourself that you unknowingly get yourself into strange and borderline unsafe situation with men who you don't realize are hitting on you. I'm sure your boyfriend is well aware of this and it probably has an impact on why he acts the way he does.

    You also said you enjoy him babying you. If you both are the clingy type and are infatuated with eachother, it pretty much sounds like fairytale love to me. Shoot, I wish I had a girl that I could share something like this with. You should feel blessed to have someone care about you so much.

    If it starts getting uncomfortable for you and you say that to him and he reacts in a violent or angry manner, then you know it's gotten to an unhealthy level and it could be time to start loosening some strings. But chances are he will be mature about his love for you and not do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. He doesn't sound like that kind of person.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Steve92
    11 years ago

    I wish I had some one like you!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Make a comprimise. Ask him if you can change certain things that bother you. Like the clothes thing. You should be able to wear what you want atleast. If everything is else makes you happy though, ignore whate people say, it's your relationship, not theirs.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • coolio75650932
    11 years ago

    its half normal half wierd. a "normal" person doesnt make a big deal of a cut or scrap.a "normal" person usualy dosntneven wear a helmet. a "normal" person wont care if some ones out for a night on the town. a "normal"... well you get the idea

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    I'd go crazy. Its cute to an extent but jesus christ, don't you want to be more independent?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • DudeUrFuglyXox
    11 years ago

    i would hate to have a boyfriend like that, but if your happy then there's nothing wrong with it

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • owl
    11 years ago

    not all the time, he could be saying because he doesnt wanna get your name mixed up with someone elses, or forgets your name O.o js

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • tsukuyomi
      11 years ago

      What?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • BluntsRolled
    11 years ago

    Wow this guy is luck, most chicks whould think this dude is a pussy and ditch his ass asap.

    Props to you girly.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I felt claustrophobic just reading that. Something about this disturbs me a bit; I have to agree with VioletTrees. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing but for me I could never be with someone like that. I am a free spirit. KUH-KAW KUH-KAW!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    How long have you been together? I used to date a guy like that, and it was cute at first, but it got really old and really, really awful after a while. I don't think this is healthy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • tsukuyomi
      11 years ago

      We've been together about two years. What about it is unhealthy?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        He's not letting you make your own decisions about what you wear and where you go out. That's really controlling. He's not letting you behave as an adult, and he's not respecting adult boundaries in your relationship.

        Also, the idea that wearing revealing clothing makes you less safe is sexist and backwards. Women don't get raped because of how we dress, we get raped because some people are rapists. There's no reason to believe that wearing less revealing clothing makes you safer. Your boyfriend shouldn't be projecting his fears onto your behaviour anyway. He should trust you to take care of yourself.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • tsukuyomi
          11 years ago

          I see what you mean. He hasn't ever said that I "can't" go out past a certain time, though, just that he doesn't want me to. If I told him that I'm doing it and that's that, he'd be worried but I don't think he'd tell me I can't or anything like that.

          Totally agree that dressing modestly doesn't make you safer, especially seeing as women in burqas get raped all the time. Thought about that when I posted this, but it seemed long winded to get into why. I have bipolar disorder and my depressive episodes started at age 10. I also had agoraphobia. So, I couldn't attend school and my only interaction with people outside of family was with doctors, therapists, and nurses and eventually other patients in hospital. So because I spent like 7 years of my childhood mostly isolated from other people I'm really not used to dealing with basic social interactions. When guys hit on me I don't always understand that's what they're doing. My sister has literally acted as my bodyguard before because I didn't know this guy was going to try something and I thought we were just having a conversation. Things have gone wrong. He's worried that if I wear more revealing clothes that's just going to increase the amount of guys hitting on me and increase the likelihood of me getting in a bad situation. Maybe that's still taking it a bit too far though? Wearing revealing clothing isn't something I care about - it's just not easy to find clothes that I like that are completely modest.

          I appreciate your input!

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • VioletTrees
            11 years ago

            He's still taking it too far. It's not his business to decide what sort of clothes you wear, period. That sort of controlling behaviour is NEVER ok from a boyfriend. Also, getting overly worried about you going out can be a form of manipulation that's just as bad as telling you that you can't. He's your boyfriend, not your mother, and he needs to start acting like it. You're an adult woman, not a little girl.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • jucedaguy
    11 years ago

    Serial killers usually treat people close to them like that,so its kinda normal I guess?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      It's sadists that do it, but alot of serial killers are sadists so yeah true. Control not out of jealousy, but to better mold the woman into an object. The controlling makes it seem like they're obsessed with the girl and therefore "care", when infact they feel shit all towards them.

      Woman are suckered in by these people because they fail to understand that part of male psychology, the reverse part. Controlling is only what it appears half the time, the other half of men that do it are hiding something much darker. Not that they're serial killers, but the same "soul" so to speak.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      ...If it's normal to be a serial killer...In that case, I am going to be worried about who packs my bags at the shops...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Be wary of farmers, fishermen and truck drivers.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0