My bfs student id ended up in my wallet

9% Normal

my bf used my car to go to the store and i guess my purse fell over and his id was in it. he asked how it got there and i honestly have no idea. he accused me of taking it even though i would never do that and even if i did i would tell him. it’s his fucking student ID! now he says he’s gonna break up with me bc i’m not telling him the truth and that we can be fine if i tell him the truth... BUT I AM & he doesn’t believe me! i have lied to him about petty sruff like this in the past. so i understand why he doesn’t believe me. but i’m
honestly telling the truth

ugh i don’t know what to do. any advice? we’ve been together for nearly 2 years now

Voting Results

9% Normal

Based on 11 votes (1 yes)

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Comments ( 28 )

Boojum

5 years ago

If I've got this right, your boyfriend is in your car alone, your purse is there, and he says he found his ID in it, but you're certain that you didn't put it there.

So there's one witness to this event, and he's hardly unbiased. Don't you think it's a little odd how your purse just happened to fall over so his ID just happened to fall out and he just happened to see it? Even if his ID was in your purse for some strange reason, I think it's more likely he had a rummage around and found it.

If you're absolutely certain you couldn't have picked up the ID by accident, then I think you should be asking yourself what he's up to.

It's possible he's either gaslighting you to see if he can manipulate you into believing something you know isn't true, or he's manufacturing a reason for a breakup. In either case, it sounds like it's time for you to move on.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  BRAVISSIMO!!!
  
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RoseIsabella

5 years ago

If you have lied a lot the past that may be a reason why he insists that you are lying now.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  yeah but i literally didn’t take it and when he goes in my car it’s magically in there
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    See, he's a trickster who wants to make you lie, and drive you crazy. He's a narcissist! He's an untrustworthy person!
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  this guy is the 28 yr old ex heroine addict btw
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    Damn, girl! Why are you still messing with that fool? He's bad for you. Dump him! Also dump the lying!
    
    You should leave this guy, and take a break from dating entirely so you can work on yourself.
    
    If that guy dumps you, because he thinks you stole his ID, and thinks you're lying it would be a really good thing. That guy is such a loser. What does your dad think of him? My dad would lose his shit if I was dating a massive loser like that when I was your age.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      i had to make up a reason why i took it bc if i didn’t he would break up w me. do you think he put it in the for some reason? i’m just so confused
      
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      - Boojum
        
        5 years ago
        
        Oh, for fuck sake!
        
        So now you're saying that you knew you didn't take it, but you went along with his lie about you having taken it just so he wouldn't break up with you.
        
        That's totally fucking pathetic.
        
        I don't know what's happened in your life that's left you completely lacking in self-respect and so damn desperate to be with a shithead like him, but you need to get away from the asswipe and sort yourself out.
        
        There's another thread on here about women who want to be with "bad boys". The same psychological pathology is at work in your head. This twat may not be beating you up (at the moment), but he's fucking with your head, and that can be even more damaging than bruises and broken bones. Yet you're apparently desperate for him to keep on doing it. Are you so lacking in insight that you can't see how fucking stupid that is?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        i really don’t know what happened with him finding my id. there’s always the possibility that I saw that id and put it in my wallet but I think I would remember doing so. The only other explanation there is is he actually put it in my wallet on accident or is making this up to get some sort of reaction out of me. I just don’t know what to do and I don’t know what’s going on.
        
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        5 years ago
        
        Possibly, he's a verbally, and emotionally abusive person so I wouldn't put gaslighting past him. I think he's a really slimy, and manipulative opportunist.
        
        You should make a plan, and leave him, because he is bad for you!
        
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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

what rose said. If you lie about other things even simple things it’s still a lie and adds up. If he can’t trust you with something simple like this I don’t see trust being able to be regained sounds kinda far gone if he assumes you lying over some usless student id (usless to you at least). Lies = no trust = no lasting relationship. What’s the point in even lying. If you can’t be honest with someone you love then theres a problem. Maybe some single time and gain some truth speaking skills is what you need.

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McBean

5 years ago

He's tired of you. You're history. He put the id in your purse for payback before he dumps you, which is kind of a lame move. Know what this means? You're both losers.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  he didn’t dump me though lol
  
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  - McBean
    
    5 years ago
    
    He will dump you sooner than later.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      why are you so sure
      
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      - McBean
        
        5 years ago
        
        You didn't put it there, only he could have. It's an act of bad faith, and a signal that all trust is gone.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        what do u mean an act of bad faith
        
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SwickDinging

5 years ago

He wants to break up a 2 year relationship because he thinks you put his student ID in your purse?

There is soooo much more going on here. Sounds like he was considering ending it anyway. This probably just sped up the process.

I'd just move on and learn from the mistakes.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  i admitted to doing it(just to end the argument( i really didn’t do it. but we’re fine now i guess. he still wants to be with me
  
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JD777

5 years ago

As they say. Gaining trust takes a thousand truths. Losing trust takes one lie. Seems you already lost his trust, regardless of your or anyone’s opinion of him. It’s over. Move on and try not to lie about “petty stuff.” Because, news flash, that’s lying.

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floodthecove

5 years ago

It sounds like you two probably don't need to be together, there's obviously a lack of trust, and apparently for good reason, considering you've lied to him before.

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paramore93

5 years ago

You brought this on yourself when you lied about all that petty stuff. If you 100% didn't do it, it could be that you've broken his trust so badly that he can't see when he's wrong anymore.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  yeah. i had to make up an excause as to why i was lying and tell him i took it. even though i didn’t. he threatened to break up with me
  
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IrishPotato

5 years ago

Boojum is onto something.

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nikkiclaire

5 years ago

I don't believe you either. What rational explanation would put his id into your wallet other than you putting it there?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  idk. i didn’t take it tho
  
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My bfs student id ended up in my wallet