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My bf and I have been together a solid 6 years, living together for 4. We are both healthy individuals in mid 20s. We were a little sex-crazy the first year and a half but then he heard that condoms are not even 90% effective so he's refused to have sex for the past 4.5 years because he's scared that I'll get pregnant, and I can't take the pill.
This is where you learn to enjoy food instead or find someone who'll give you a jolly good seeing to ;)
You should talk to him tell him how it makes you feel.
Lie a little make him think you are questioning your sexiness and how you feel worthless that the reason you are not having sex is because he thinks you are not desirable enough of something.
Or you could just fuck him in his sleep.
Condoms (if used correctly) are way more than 90% effective. Although when I was in Catholic High School they used to tell us lies like this to scare us away from sex. They also used to tell us things like STDs/viruses (like AIDS) were small enough to fit through the condom so using it wouldn't prevent them.
What's bad is his doctor said they're not very effective. BUT she also said "user error" and "expiration dates" but he kind freaked out anyways.
I mean yeah just think about it. If you're wrapped up tight and nothing can spill out, then there's no way to get someone pregnant. There's nothing magic about the way condoms work.
The failure rate considers the low occurrence of when they tear or break. AND even if that DOES happen, you're gonna know. And then you can always go for Plan B. There's really no risk at all if you are responsible about it. But accidents do happen, so it's common practice to rely on multiple methods, just in case.
Talk to your Dr or a nurse about combined methods that will address any reasonable fear of pregnancy. I'm not so sure fear of pregnancy is the issue, but if it is that should address it.
Get an IUD. You don't even have to use condoms with these babies. Though it's reccomended. I have one. It's good for 5 years. I love it. They say your period gets worse, but I don't even notice it. I love the little thing.
Why can't you take the pill?? hahahaha probably not the condom, it's you!! He's just using the condom as an excuse.
4 years with my bf using condom and never had any accidents !
talk to him maybe is something else :S it's not normal.!
You need to have a serious talk about this - if he's not going to have sex with you, then you're going to have to end it, he needs to open his eyes and see that he's fucking lucky to be in a healthy relationship!
Condoms are like 90% effective if you use them right, aren't they? I thought that was the statistic or at least close to it.
Why can't you take birth control? Is it limited to oral BCPs or can you not take anything with hormones?
It seems like he's being a bit paranoid. Yeah I know just condoms aren't 100%, but I've had problems with oral contraceptives (mood swings, cramps, etc) and have only been using condoms for the past year without a hitch. I don't like only relying on one method of birth control, but I'm leery of going back to hormones. Scared that if nothing else they'll make me moody which will make no one wanna be with me anyway, when I tried to get on the NuvaRing my ex made me stop before a month had even passed cause he said it was making me bitchy. :/
There are a billion methods of contraception for christ's sake. Condoms aren't the only method or the pill, ask your doctor the millions of options out there.
Their is a mystical device which prevents pregnancy..
It is called CONDOMS....
I agree with the others that your boyfriend may have other reasons besides fear of pregnancy. But since that's his stated concern, try to address that first. If he's uncomfortable using condoms alone, you could try the rhythm method, or add spermicide. If he balks at that, there may be deeper issues at work that you need to discuss with him. Good luck.
There has to be a reason other than that. 4.5 years is a little ridiculous, most men I know would be looking for any way to have sex without the paranoia after a few weeks of going dry.
Might I suggest the rythm (fuck spelling) method in combination with condoms? If you have sex during your least fertile time of the month, it already reduces your chances of pregnancy by a large percentage and in combination with condoms and/or a diaphragm and spermicide, your chances of getting pregnant are probably dirt 0. You can even buy ovulation tests (they sell them near the pregnancy tests) at Wally World for 99 cents a pop and take one just to prove that you're not ovulating to make him feel better.
This still sounds pretty odd to me though =/ I have been with guys that are cautious but would settle for being careful and wearing a condom. You guys might have more issue s than just fear of pregnancy.
Some women have really bad reactions to the additional hormones in their body. It totally throws off their natural chemistry and as a result, they'll get terrible nausea, weight gain and all around sickness to even the tiniest doses of synthetic hormones.
It's kind of rare but not all woman can handle the introduction synthetic hormones like that into their bodies =/
it's shallow, but sex is a need in a relationship, you cant go you're whole life without an orgasm, you have to tell him to stop being a baby and man up.
And tell him that if you're on top you cant get pregnant, simple physics, what goes up must come down.
i've tried having sex without a condom a couple of times and nothing happened..you just have to use the pull out method ;)
i had sex my gf without condoms for a year and nothing happened your bf is a little paranoid, can you take morning after pill ?