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Im was very insecure before our relationship and this is making me feel bad about myself again
are all the guys like this ?
There’s two ways to look at it so my answer could fall under either a yes or no.. I can tell you from personal experience that I was like this, but it took a lot for me to become that way. First of all, I did everything for my girlfriend (cooked, cleaned, bought things, any chore you could imagine) She on the other hand, never did a single thing, and to make it worse, never thanked me for doing these things.. and on top of it, criticized my good deeds. When someone is unappreciative, the other person who is doing these kind acts will eventually see the light and stop doing it. This is what I did and with that came the no sexual relationship , because I was turned off by her unappreciative, lazy attitude. Not saying this is your situation but I know I’m not the only one who has experienced it. Now if your significant other is choosing his friends and online activity over sexual relations with you for no solid reason at all, that’s a problem, and you should seek someone else. It also depends on how long you’ve been together. A lot of couples go through stages. The beginning is always hot and “new” because, well, it is! All about the looks and sexual tension and getting to know someone.. once that is over with, people need to see if there’s truly a spark outside the physical: like finding common interests. This is why the divorce rate is so high. Mental stimulation is way more important than the physical and you’ll be surprised how a mental connection can make your significant other even more desirable
hes the nicest guy ever we never have any problem.
we have been together for about 5 months and hes my first real boyfriend thats why im too nervous to speak with him about this stuff
At five months, I can see you kinda being stuck in a tough spot. It’s almost half a year so it’s still fresh, but honestly at this point, you should be open to talk about anything that may be bothering you. This also depends on how much you see one another... is it every day? Do you live together, or is it just a once in a while “I’ll see you on weekends when I’m off” kinda relationship? If it’s the first 2 and you’re seeing one another daily, i would be upfront and honest. Living together before marriaged is okay in my book and I know a lot of people will disagree due to their morals and beliefs -that old school mentality. But I think it’s a good thing because it prepares you for marriage and what to expect and if you don’t like how things are prior to putting a ring on it, you can get out.. and at a much cheaper cost. Living together prepares you for a lot of things. I think it definitely has its pros over the cons. For me it did. I saw I was getting myself into being a slave and ridiculed at that. That was enough to say adios! Divorce is no picnic so thankfully I saw the light before tying the knot. Hopefully you do too. Remember it’s always good to get an outsiders opinion. As sucky as it may be, an honest answer may set you free from lifelong unhappiness. It’s good to hear you are happy and that he is a sweet guy. That to me says you should be able to address this issue and he will listen. Guys always want their women happy.. (at least the decent ones do) lol
Just talk it out and be confident. You might be surprised on the reaction of you being honest.
I would say fine, pack your stuff and go find someone else. If you cook and clean and do all that stuff around house, then he has nothing to worry about except maybe the internet getting shut off.
No I'm saying if that's his main focus in life, if he would rather play online games instead of playing with your body. If he wakes up in morning and would rather get online instead if getting on you then that should tell you what his priorities are. If its obvious but you refuse to see it then whatever you do then is your decision, and also your future. Make sure to see things as they really are and not thru rose colored glasses. (That makes things look all Rossy and pretty)
I'm going to have to say yes, it's normal.
And it's not his fault.
As his girlfriend, it is YOUR job to seduce him and make him want to have sex with you.
What do you do to please him? What do you do to make him want to get in bed with you? Men want a woman who is sexy, not insecure. If he doesn't find you sexually appealing why would you expect him to sleep with you??
It's a reflection of his failure to properly prioritize his spheres of interest, not a reflection of anything you may have done wrong or your attractiveness.
He's the failure, not you. It's a failure of him to properly prioritize his life.
i dont think hes a failure , i want to buy a computer to be able to play with him
IF YOU ARE OK WITH THE WAY HE TREATS YOU THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THIS POST FOR? YOU PAINT US A PICTURE AND ALL WE DO IS TRY AND GET THAT PICTURE IN OUR HEAD ABOUT YOUR HOME LIFE. IF YOUR MAD AT HIM TELL HIM, IF NOT THEN GO KISS HIS ASS AND SAY THANK YOU FOR HIM TREATING YOU LIKE CRAP.
im withholding my opinion untill i see a picture of you . i voted anyway just for fun. thats probably your fault.
I would never think of playing games with my friends if I had a girl who loves being sexual. My woman is always first. How do you tease him? Do you dress sexy or scantily or be naked? Do you strut or cuddle? I loved being teased by my women......My woman even teases me and my friends and it turns them on also and really diverts my attention to her......
Love doesn't mean sex.
Sex doesn't mean love.
Never use sex as validation.
Sex is just one of the ways to express how you feel, besides kissing, hugging, talking, etc. It means even more if the partner who normally goes with the flow to initiate sex once in a while or show affection, because that says a lot about how comfortable you are.
Plus, it's good to have autonomy in relationships, because being glued to each other is unhealthy and obsessive.
At the end of the day, just do your own thing when he's doing his, or initiate sex if you're in the mood. You can't be the center of attention 24/7.
It's called taking things for granted. These are lessons every lady must learn at some point. Reign him in by doing as follows.
When he is in the middle of a high pressure situation in a game, offer him sex. He is likely to refuse at this point.
Later on, when he requests sex from you, busy yourself with something else and say that you're in the middle of something. It helps if you actually have a hobby.
He can't complain that you are withholding sex because technically he refused you. Now he'll see that there are more important things than conquering europe.
Sincerely, a sexless 27 year old man
Hi OP, the first two probably gave the best advice, I will add my view, definitely chat to him in a nice way, maybe he is just the type of person who’s not that into/obsessed or keen on sex, if you chat to him nicely and explain how you feel it should start to work to solve the issue, you have been together 5 months now and the key is to find balance to keep both people happy, fair enough he likes to play video games but maybe he has to cut back his time on that to spend more with you, but I really hope it’s not that you just want all his extra free time (if he cuts back on the games) to be spent on sex? If so that’s a bit shallow and greedy to me, start talking to him and see what he says, I know your nervous like you said but the absolute worse that can happen is it can end which judging by what I see here is highly unlikely, does he like you? Do you two do other things together?
I'm in a similar predicament. Unfortunately, it seems to be a growing norm among men these days. Bring it up to him, let him know you seriously want a change. If he's mature enough, he'll make a bigger effort to be with you, a least more than he is now
Sounds like you need a man not a boy. Boys play games. Men will play with you. But it's up to you