My bf just told me he used 2 be gay...

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16 Comments

We were out to eat and a guy walked by and he said do u think hes hot and I said no... Which in fact the guy was really good looking anyway my bf said I do and I just laughed thinking nothing of it because he jokes like that alot and then on the way home he tells me he used 2 be gay like 3 years before we met... What am I gonna do? Could he still be gay? Or even bi? What if he would leave me for a man I mean he says he loves me and would never do that but I dont know what 2 do... Please help! Is it wierd that Im still with him?

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53% Normal
Based on 263 votes (140 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Did he do a religious gay conversion program by any chance? Those don't work. Your boyfriend is either still gay or he is bisexual.

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  • incest
    14 years ago

    I dont agree with the other guys. My first boyfriend (we were together for 3 years) was gay. I thought at least. I was the first man in his life and he was the first for me. Now he is with the same girl for 5 years, even married. He didnt touch other guys after me or before me. Ok maybe its different. People call him gay. But he is not. He was just very open minded I guess. Still much better sexually than any other gays were.

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  • extis
    14 years ago

    my girl told me she was BI and wanted to bring in another guy staight away i dumped her couldn't stand the idea of another guy

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    • Outsider21
      9 years ago

      Bi would be bringing in another girl. Actually, she wanted YOU to be the bi one. Having a threesome with another guy would make you bi not her

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    You can't be gay one day and not gay the next. He's still gay. He's at least bi. Straight guys don't tell their girlfriends they think other dudes are hot. Depending on how young y'all are and how long you've been with your boyfriend, maybe he is with you for the wrong reasons. He's testing the waters to see how you feel about his most definite bisexuality or possible homosexuality. If he's bi, there's not much more danger of him leaving you for a dude than there is of him leaving you for a woman...technically, right? All depends on how comfortable with it you feel, and what kinda risk you're willing to take. If you want the truth out of him, you have to be open about it. He's not going to tell you if he thinks you're going to freak out.

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    • iluvboth
      10 years ago

      Jen118584 is right on target. But I will also add That may be your boyfriend is Trying to find out how you would feel about Having a threesome with another guy.
      Just because he like to suck cock Does not mean that he doesn't love you.

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      • Outsider21
        9 years ago

        That's not always true. Some people can change orientation, e.g. nobody would doubt the possibility of someone 'turning queer'. However, it's assumed that a shift in sexuality only goes to increasing levels of gayness and not the other way around. I think somebody could probably go from gay to not being gay, but it's much, much rarer than the reverse. Usually, if one turns queer, they are stuck that way forever. Also, it would be even more uncommon for a guy to go back to being straight than for a woman to go from being a lesbian to being straight. It would not be impossible though as sexuality can sometimes change in some fashion (but it's usually much less dramatic). Look at how many prison inmates 'turn queer' while in prison and then go back to being straight when they get out of jail. He just could be being completely honest with you

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      Yeah, being gay isn't a switch. People used to think I was gay when I was fat and I never went that way. Even in my adolesence and I really wanted and could not have a girlfriend and guys were hiting on me all the time, I still didn't go that way.

      However, I lost the weight and I feel better. Later on I did research on this and being gay ISN'T a choice. If it is, I don't understand why people would go the opposite way and I never will.

      If your gay, your gay and just be gay. If you are straight, good for you but leave my fiance alone (Kidding, she could use a complement and she is faithful.)

      However, you can't be straight one day and gay another. It just does not work that way. Honestly, I don't believe in Bisexuality either but I could be wrong and willing to accept being wrong. If you go both ways, good for you and I hope your partner likes you and another one of your sex, however - aren't you MORE one or the other?

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  • littlelulu1999
    12 years ago

    This is quite a dilemma. I think he's definitely putting it out there to see what you think. I personally don't believe in back and forth. I think its bullshit, and there are a lot of people (my cousin included) who have same sex relationships and then decide they want to be straight---why, because society stigmatizes gay and lesbians and there is still the belief that to be accepted and have a family and children you need to be with the opposite sex. You can be happy with the same or the opposite sex. In addition to my cousin (who was with women for several years, then started dating a guy and is not happy), my brother married a woman who was bisexual (probably because she was not able to come out to her very religious family). She continued to see other women while they were married but had my brother on lockdown....she even convinced him to have a three-way once with another woman and had the nerve to get pissed at him about it/jealous. Needless to say that didn't last, and she went back to women behind her family's back. If he told you he was gay its because he wants your approval to be bisexual while he is with you. Plain and simple. You decide what you're willing to put up with.

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  • conscience
    13 years ago

    I agree with Ferrets.

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  • khamkham
    13 years ago

    That really depends on you if you choose to breakup with him as soon as possible. If you really love him and he loves you too, then what's the problem? You just have to accept who he is and it wouldn't matter as long as you both are happy together... =)

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  • Cosmicgiggle
    13 years ago

    Bad moon rising. All the above comments are accurate. You don't hop out of bed one morning and decide that you want to be gay today.

    I wouldn't move a step further with this guy until he's more clear about his sexuality

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  • ttty
    13 years ago

    Gay, bi, straight are all modern western labels for sexual orientation. There are far more options available. In short, human sexuality doesn't work how we like to think it works. If he's able to have sex, good, raging boner sex with you then he's attracted to you and nothing else matters.

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  • Ferrets
    14 years ago

    I don't see what the problem is.

    He may be bi. But why should you be any more worried of him leaving you now then before?

    If you're going out with a straight guy, there's a risk he may leave you for another girl.
    It doesn't matter if he's bi or straight, the risk is the same.

    I don't see anything to worry about. He loves you, but if he ends up leaving you for someone else, it probably would've happened anyways if he was straight.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    u might have to u know.......... (please him) enough to where he wants to stick with u

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  • Pappyroys
    14 years ago

    It's normal in many ways, if you try to find the reason you got so wet, there a few thinks that might trigger it, for example some people get horny by liking each other in public, the danger of someone may see you may get you wet or even sometimes you may want someone to watch, there are thousands of things that make us horny, when you get older you going to learn them, anyway its normal

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