My bf hasn't been making much effort lately. is it normal i feel this way?

73% Normal
8 Comments

My boyfriend of just over a year and I have a great relationship. His parents live interstate, and he goes to spend 3 weeks with them every year around Christmas. He goes there to work on a family farm. He has a perfectly functioning internet connection there.

I met his parents recently, and his mum invited me to stay with them for Christmas. I didn't go for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I had a small surgery a week ago, and another reason was that I felt I would feel awkward staying with them because my BF would be working with his dad most of the time, and besides, I don't know them that well yet.

Since my BF left, he hasn't been making a lot of effort with me. He hasn't been sending me good morning or good night messages, and he hasn't been calling me as often as he does when he is home. (We do t live together).

He knows that I have been sitting at home all day every day since my surgery as I'm recovering. He knows that I don't have any family, and he knows that I don't have a lot of friends. This past week has been so difficult for me emotionally, being at home, alone and all day every day. And I have another week left until I go back to work, and I am not looking forward to another week of boredom, and very limited contact from him.

It's Christmas Day, and I am alone at home, it's sad.

Am I being overly sensitive or is it normal that I am upset with my boyfriend for being insensitive and not making more of an effort with me?

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 30 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • CDmale4fem
    8 years ago

    Myself, I think hes being an inconsiderate jackass. A guy having a gf knowing shes going to have surgery and recovery time to follow, if he was a real gentleman he would have stayed with her. Helping her get bettet or just doing anything at all to make it easier for her. Give her foot massage, back or neck massage, anything other than leaving her alone on Christmas. I was pretty much alone on Christmas day also. It sucks. But after the past 9 or 10 being alone, I hate to say Im getting used to it.

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    • Tealights
      8 years ago

      Honestly, I can't see what he did wrong.

      Yeah, spending Christmas alone can be sad, but I can't be blinded with empathy as you for that reason alone. For me, it's due to the fact that she's not incapacitated, and had the strength to go, but used her surgery as an excuse to stay home because she didn't know them well enough.

      Then she had the audacity to say that her boyfriend should coddle her due to no friends or family after turning down an invitation to be apart of a family holiday tradition. This was her chance to get to know them, and she blew it for such a stupid reason. Maybe you can't help but be alone for the holidays, but she had a choice and chose to sit at home.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    He's busy with his family. Plus, if you think about it, he was thinking of your no family/friends situation, and it's probably the main reason why he invited you.

    If you're healthy enough to travel, then you should have gone. Right now, you caused yourself to have a lonely Christmas for being nervous about spending time with his family.

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    • CDmale4fem
      8 years ago

      It was his mother that invited her for the holidays, not him. He probably didnt even know about the invite.

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      • Tealights
        8 years ago

        Most likely he knew about it and probably talked it over with his mother.

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  • bucho's_butt
    8 years ago

    That really sucks. I had a girlfriend and we'd been going out for a little while when we were in college and then Christmas break happened. We were away for each other for like 3 weeks. It completely derailed and cooled off the relationship. That happens sometimes when two people are away from each other. It drains all those amazing feel good love chemicals when two people are apart for too long.

    I would suggest to you that the two of you skype so that you can see each other and have a chance at generating that connection again. Talking on the phone is much less effective. Even less effective are instant messages. Try face to face contact.

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  • Burritoboy88
    8 years ago

    I would normally be that troll who fucks with the posters head on this one but damn tbh the signs he's showing are not good unless he's planning some sort of surprise then he's being a dick, I get he may be busy with work but that's no excuse I feel bad for you, sorta want to give you my Xbox cause it's honestly medicine for me when I'm down, chin up however as maybe you're just slightly upset as your home alone on Christmas and he's not there with you I'm sure everything will be fine, if you ever want anyone just know burrito boy is here and all you have to do is post and trust me I'll see it

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Sounds to me that your recovery would have been a lot more pleasant if you had gone with him. Your excuses don't seem too convincing to me, and perhaps that's the way he feels, too.

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