My best friend raped me and i want to forgive him. is this normal?

Me and my best friend, let's just call him X, were friends for almost a year. I know this is not a time that sounds long but we got super close friends over this time. Throughout our entire friendship I have been and still am in a relationship. X and I met via my boyfriend, who was also best friends with X. The three of us became a close trio and were hanging out quite often. I very quickly noticed that X liked me a bit more than just normal friends. He even later confess to me that he has a crush on me. The three of us just blamed it on the fact that he does not really have much female contact and therefore interprets his feelings for me as having a crush. With time he even said that he was crushing on other girls and got over the silly phase of thinking he might have feelings for me. X truly became my closest friend and I loved him in a certain way. One night when he came to visit me (we live in different cities due to our studies) to go out partying with me and a good female friend. My boyfriend was not there due to him having an exam the next morning. So, my friend, X and me got drunk that night and went out. Nothing weird happened until we got home. We all got ready for bed. I wanted to sleep together with my female friend in bed and already laid down. My body felt so heavy and I just felt super weak. The last thing I remember was my friend sitting next to my bed and X sitting next to me and ranting about the fact that he can not get a girlfriend. Then in the middle of the night, I wake up... I have this weird feeling between my legs, I can not open my eyes and I hear this breathing next to me. After a while of me laying there in confusion, not being able to move, I realized what was happening. X undressed me and was beginning to penetrate me. I was in shock. I did not know what to do. My mind went blank while my body started to experience pleasure, even though my mind hated what was happening. I was just thinking of how it got to here. I still did not open my eyes and was just laying there. Pretending like I was still unconscious. I wanted to stop him. I did not want this. But my body did not correspond. I was just laying there. Doing nothing. Letting him rape me. Everything went black again and I wake up the next morning, fully dressed with him cuddling up to me. I felt like vomiting. This happened already 5 months ago. I feel surprisingly well about it after X and I broke off contact and I confronted him and told my boyfriend about it. Until 3 weeks ago. X contacted me out of the blue again asking how I am feeling. We had a short conversation about how things are. He apologized a lot, the way he did after I confronted him. He asked if there is any way we can be friends again and I told him I am not sure. For 3 weeks we have been regularly chatting and I miss him more and more. We talk in a very lighthearted way. I really miss him and it makes me cry. I want to be friends again with him and I think there is something wrong with me for wanting to forgive him after what happened. I still care about him for some reason and I often regret that I even mentioned the fact that I woke up. I am dealing surprisingly well with it and because of talking about it I lost my best friend and he also lost all his friends.
This is a very long story and I hope you guys will read it. I do not know what to do. Am I normal? Why do I not hate him? Shall I try to see him again and maybe reconnect?

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 58 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Shackleford96

    Sounds like he drugged you.

    I agree with what the others have already said, you shouldn't see him again. If he did it once, he would do it again.

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  • RoseIsabella

    You can forgive this person if that's what you want to do, but do not ever take him back as a friend. You cannot trust this person! Cut off all ties with this guy, and never have anything to do with him again. I am dead serious!

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    • Took the words out of my mouth, once again.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Thanks, and sorry about that. 😉

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        • At least you got the right thoughts

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          • RoseIsabella

            Thanks. 🙂

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  • trashthetrashmouth

    i think it's normal of you want to want to forgive him, but it's definitely not something you should do. he's not a good person and he certainly doesn't deserve your friendship. even if you choose to forgive him, reconnecting with him won't be healthy for you.

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  • Tealights

    Forgive, but don't forget. It's selfish, cruel and deceitful of him; and he'll just do it again, because rape takes forethought, especially if the target is someone you know, which means a higher risk; he didn't slip and fall into you, he planned it all out, from possibly drugging your drink to convincing your friend to leave you alone in the room.

    Accepting him back as a friend will just reward his actions, and lets him know that if he just apologizes while giving you space for a few months then he gets another chance. Rape shouldn't have happened to begin with if he was your friend, but it certainly shouldn't be given any more chances to happen again.

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  • LauraJesson

    Forgiveness is the ultimate unselfish benediction you can bestow on someone whilst also freeing yourself.

    Forgive him and then move on and never ever look or go back.

    Trust yourself.

    Much love and good thoughts to you.

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  • bigbudchonga

    It's very big of you to want to forgive him after what he did. Honestly if there was no threat, and someone seemed to be taking it as well as you did then I would say if you can forgive him and think he deserves forgiveness then go for it. However he did it before. If you do forgive him and want to see continue seeing him then I think there's a real possibility he would do it again. If you truly want to forgive him then I would just let him know that you do, and only see him when your with other people, or even better don't see him at all.

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  • SwickDinging

    If he has raped you then he may have raped many other women. Those women may not feel as forgiving as you do.

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  • factcheck

    I am so sorry that happened to you.

    It’s very normal, after a traumatic event, to want to go back to the way things were. It’s normal to miss the friend that you had. But the thing is...that friend you thought you had doesn’t exist. He was a very different person - a rapist - pretending to be somebody else. It’s that fake version of him that you miss, and it’s the fake version of him that he’s presenting to you again now. But he’s still a rapist just pretending to be someone who cares about you and respects you.

    Only you can decide what to do. Just make sure you consider the risks involved with letting him back in your life...there’s a very good chance you’re not the first woman he’s raped, there’s a very good chance he’ll rape you again, there’s a very good chance he’ll rape your female friends if he hasn’t already.

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  • It's normal but it'd be stupid to try to get involved with him again.

    He sounds like a dumb, incel pussy, like one of those "nice guys".

    You cannot trust this loser.

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  • Donnie3423

    You can forgive but not forget

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  • IrishPotato

    He's not your friend.

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  • Annie25

    This story was wild start to finish and my eyes popped out like 3 times wtf

    a) IT'S not normal
    b) YOU are not normal

    You are out of your god damned mind because I dont understand how you are okay with the fact that HE FUCKING RAPED YOU

    And you CARE about him?! Wtf
    If i were in front of you and you were narrating the entire incident with the statement "i wanna forgive him and still care" I would have slapped you to death

    Also he is not your friend, if he got the chance he would do it again

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    • LauraJesson

      In all honesty your post is not helpful. Everybody deals with things differently and in a way that works best for them.

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