My 'best friend' makes me hate myself?

I've been friends with her for almost 4 years and it's been great but since last year I've noticed that she is always putting me down. She always has something bad to say about me. Whenever I buy new clothes she calls them ugly and says that I have no taste... I was fine with it at first but she ALWAYS does it. She picks on all of my insecurities. I am already insecure but she has made my insecurities so much worse. She says stuff like 'wow your eyebrows are so thick' 'your fingers are so fat' 'you dress like a tramp' 'why are you making that face it makes you look ugly' 'your legs are so short' 'you have so much spots today' 'you need to wax your whole face' 'your nose is so small, you look like a koala' etc etc
She says it for no reason. I'll be sitting down minding my own business or talking to her and she'll just randomly say it to me and I don't know how to react to it so I just laugh awkwardly with her. If I don't laugh with her she'll say that I'm too sensitive. She says it's just a 'joke' but her 'jokes' have made me feel so bad about myself that I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore.
It's really annoying because whenever someone says something about her and she gets insecure I always reassure her. I never insult her looks or her tastes but she always insults mine.
She's also SO controlling, she always wants me to have the same opinions as her and never disagree with her. If I do she says that I'm always arguing and that I always like to make an issue out of everything.
She also takes advantage of me so much. I have free internet on my phone and if I don't let her use it she calls me selfish and goes on about it until I give it to her. She always expects me to give her my phone but whenever I ask for her phone she says no.
When I feel down or depressed she calls me moody and boring and she never bothers to ask me if I'm ok. Lately I've been pretty depressed and I had a panic attack two weeks ago. I told her about it and she told me to chill out unless I wanted to go on medication.
Whenever she borrows money from me I say that she doesn't have to pay it back. Whenever I borrow money from her she nags at me until I give it back even if it's 50p.
She also insults my family a lot... My little sister is really bratty and rude to almost everyone but that doesn't give her the right to say rude things about her to me. She's still my sister. She criticises how my parents brought us up and is always making rude comments.
I really want to say something to her but I don't know how. I hate starting fights and I prefer avoiding conflict for as long as I can. If I do confront her she's just going to say that I love fighting and I argue so much.
She is a good friend sometimes though. We talk to each other all the time and go out often but I'm always anticipating the next rude thing she's going to say to me and it's driving me nuts.
I really don't know what to do.

Voting Results
11% Normal
Based on 54 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Terence_the_viking

    A best friend wouldn't do that.

    Drop her like bad bread.

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    • RoseIsabella

      Drop her like the big, brown log she is!

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      • **Beta dumps**

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  • fishyfishy

    She sounds like a friend I used to have. She could have her nice moments..but mostly she was just jealous of me. We were friends for years and she all of a sudden started saying really hurtful things about me that I told her I was sensitive about (like that I have terrible skin, I have had stretch marks since I was 12, not from being fat, but from very rapid growth spurts and bad genes). And when I asked her to stop she'd tell me to chill. And I could never do it back. That's just not how I am. If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all.
    Anyways, my advise to you.. find a new best friend and start pushing her out little by little. Women were put on this planet to support and love each other like sisters.. not to be competitive or rude to each other. Find someone with the same values as yourself (being kind, lifting each other up instead of someone putting you down). If your best friend really values your friendship.. she will start to miss you. And as the saying goes.. absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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    • jeebley

      Absinthe makes the sharts grow stronger. Splashdown for old mate.

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  • gummy_jr

    Whoa!!!

    Wall of text

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  • BlueJeansWhiteShirt

    She isn't a friend. She is a bully.

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  • Maybeoneday

    My friends from Highschool are still like that. I'm insecure, even after three years of college. Just don't let her hurt you, you're beautiful and intelligent and you deserve to have a friend that is good to you.

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  • kittykat9930

    Don't let her push you around! If I were you, I would be brutally honest and tell her she needs to either stop being a bitch or you're going to stop being friends with her. A real friend would not treat someone like dirt under their feet. Don't be afraid to be assertive!

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  • Gamzeee

    I'm going through the same thing and I am going to be putting my foot down because this is not something I want to keep happening and it isn't funny. You should take to your 'friend' too.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    I used to have a "friend" who liked to point out my insecurities too and I just stopped answering his calls one day. If he made it through (before caller ID arrived) I hung up on him without saying a word.

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  • awkwardkartoffel

    Maybe she has a mental disorder; there are types of those that make you jealous and afraid of everyone and make you want to put people down. I suggest you try to talk to her about it. She's obviously making you feel terrible. Best friends are there to help you out and make you feel better, not to tear you down. If she doesn't stop, leave her. With a friend like her, honestly, who'd need an enemy?

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  • Avant-Garde

    It's time to get a new and better friend. Someone who makes you feel good about yourself!

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  • RoseIsabella

    She sounds über jealous of you!!!

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  • MissesAnonymous23

    DUMP HER.

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  • datguy

    If she says horrible things and takes advantage of you all the time, then thats no friend, its the exact opposite. Maybe confront her about it and put her in her place, if she still gives you trouble, say you don’t wanna be friends anymore and ignore her if she keeps saying nasty things. You don’t deserve a friend like this, she seems like a bitch

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  • la_la_la_la

    A friend wouldn't insult you/make you miserable, let alone a best friend, no matter what may be/have been wrong in their life. Could cope w/ someone insulting me but not insulting my family. I've always found the idea of a best friend a bit strange; what happens if/when you fall out?? I love koalas.

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  • nanawhite

    " she is a good friend sometimes though " ?
    If I would have made a list of all good and bad things that come out of this relationship, there wouldn't be a plenty good stuff in it, don't you think ?
    You have to ask yourself: What do I get from this relationship?

    I'm going to be frank. She uses you, she treats you bad, she insults you, and controls you. She was maybe a great friend when you met her but that bitch has learnt how to treat you like her puppet to get what she wants from you and of course, enjoy herself. I'm sorry to call her like that, but it's what she is, a selfish bitch. Don't waste your time with those kind of people. You deserve so much better, and from what I read, you seem to be a very kind and thoughful people with your friend. It's a shame for that girl not to be able to recognize a great friend as you. Or, give her a last chance. Next time both of you have an argument, let her say what she wants. Don't be afraid of conflict. She understood the fact that you don't want arguments to last long, that you really love her. That's why she thinks she has the advantage of everything on you. Show her that you are not acquired and feel free to move on.

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  • Isabella80s

    SHE'S the one that insecure! Oh dear. And that fact that if you confront her, she turns it around on you and says you like fighting, is equally disturbing. I think you need to have enough respect for yourself here to confront this problem. Calmly tell her how her comments make you feel and although she might accuse you of all sorts at first, I imagine it will sink in at some point that she's been unreasonable. If it doesn't, then she's obviously oblivious to her own behaviour and never looks inward, or is in flat out denial mode. Neither are ideal.

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  • J3553

    Either confront her and tell her how you feel about it or just walk away.

    If you confront her and she doesn't care then she's not really your friend. If she tries to say "you're just too sensitive" or tries to push the blame onto something other than herself ("I've been going through a lot" or "remember this one time when you made me feel bad.", trying to make YOU feel bad for confronting her in some way.) after explaining how it makes you feel then she's a manipulative bitch that isn't going to change and you should dump her a**.

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  • Phishy

    Hmm

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