My 'best friend' makes me hate myself?
I've been friends with her for almost 4 years and it's been great but since last year I've noticed that she is always putting me down. She always has something bad to say about me. Whenever I buy new clothes she calls them ugly and says that I have no taste... I was fine with it at first but she ALWAYS does it. She picks on all of my insecurities. I am already insecure but she has made my insecurities so much worse. She says stuff like 'wow your eyebrows are so thick' 'your fingers are so fat' 'you dress like a tramp' 'why are you making that face it makes you look ugly' 'your legs are so short' 'you have so much spots today' 'you need to wax your whole face' 'your nose is so small, you look like a koala' etc etc
She says it for no reason. I'll be sitting down minding my own business or talking to her and she'll just randomly say it to me and I don't know how to react to it so I just laugh awkwardly with her. If I don't laugh with her she'll say that I'm too sensitive. She says it's just a 'joke' but her 'jokes' have made me feel so bad about myself that I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore.
It's really annoying because whenever someone says something about her and she gets insecure I always reassure her. I never insult her looks or her tastes but she always insults mine.
She's also SO controlling, she always wants me to have the same opinions as her and never disagree with her. If I do she says that I'm always arguing and that I always like to make an issue out of everything.
She also takes advantage of me so much. I have free internet on my phone and if I don't let her use it she calls me selfish and goes on about it until I give it to her. She always expects me to give her my phone but whenever I ask for her phone she says no.
When I feel down or depressed she calls me moody and boring and she never bothers to ask me if I'm ok. Lately I've been pretty depressed and I had a panic attack two weeks ago. I told her about it and she told me to chill out unless I wanted to go on medication.
Whenever she borrows money from me I say that she doesn't have to pay it back. Whenever I borrow money from her she nags at me until I give it back even if it's 50p.
She also insults my family a lot... My little sister is really bratty and rude to almost everyone but that doesn't give her the right to say rude things about her to me. She's still my sister. She criticises how my parents brought us up and is always making rude comments.
I really want to say something to her but I don't know how. I hate starting fights and I prefer avoiding conflict for as long as I can. If I do confront her she's just going to say that I love fighting and I argue so much.
She is a good friend sometimes though. We talk to each other all the time and go out often but I'm always anticipating the next rude thing she's going to say to me and it's driving me nuts.
I really don't know what to do.