My anxiety....iin?

Sounds like you hate being in control because there are simply too many factors to control. For example picking up the phone, you can plan all you want but you can't possibly prepare for what they're going to say next. Even if you plan how to say hello, your voice could crack up at the moment of truth. It's easier when doing extreme activities because it's completely out of control.
I would advise trying to realise how unimportant you really are. No one is looking at you or noticing what you're doing. Trust me. Everyone is too busy with their own anxieties. I know this is true.

You should see a doctor about this as soon as possible.

hopefully you'll get over this, I have been diagnosed with this sort of thing but grew out of it

its similar with me :S

I used to rely on self-medication,
I guess I still do that from time to time.

then why don't you imagine every activity as a mission

I'm just like that... probably to a more extreme. I get so afraid that I start to lose control of my heart... get pvcs and randomly pass out. And it's only during a social event. (party, bar, hangout)

Would i go skydiving? Hell yes!
I've bungee jumped and I absolutely loved it.
I can hold conferences and meetings at work pretty well and love intellectual challenges (used to be in debate).

But... tell me to go to a party and "unwind" and i start to freak out. I stand there not knowing what to do... i have no instructions, there is no motive here... what if I don't do the right thing? and then i hit the floor.

Once upon a time I couldn't leave my room when I lived with my dad's girlfriend when she was the only one in the house. I wouldn't leave the room to eat; I'd sneak out the window and run to the store down the street to get snacks and climb back into my room (or I would just never eat that day).

When I needed to use the bathroom I would wait till the very last second to sneak into the bathroom so she wouldn't notice me. I would hold my bladder for hours waiting for the perfect moment where she wouldn't catch me. I sat by the door peaking out the crack, opened the door a bit, it would make noise so I would freeze and stop, and do that for an hour or two. It sounds completely ridiculous, but it's true, and quite sad indeed.

Sounds like you have Anxiety/Panic Disorder. You are not alone. I had it bad too and can understand where you're coming from. Standing in line at a grocery store, Post Office, sitting still for a haircut, or at the dentist's would be difficult or sometimes impossible. In classrooms I would only be able to go in if the door was in the back of the room & I'd have to sit by the door. I got very agoraphobic and only felt "safe" at home. I found help with a therapist & medication. There are many people who suffer with it to varying degrees. I hope you find the needed relief you deserve.

That doesn't sound healthy at all.

The answer is obvious, you see it on TV all the time. Cash in on your condition by getting a dangerous job!!!

That or put your money where your mouth is and go join the military.

Your a nervous sociopath....they exist, except usually they're child molesters.