Much higher sex drive than boyfriend

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4 Comments

My boyfriend and I were together for six months then long distance for a couple years and have been living together for a little over a year. I have a very high sex drive and would like to have sex at least once a day but he seems to be fine with 1-3 times a week, 3 being rare... It's been like that pretty much since we moved in. I'm honestly questioning our relationship, not just bc of this but it is an issue. And I know he jacks off at least a few times a week in the morning. It just doesn't feel right. I'm not overweight or unattractive so I just don't get it, and wanted some input. He has always been a tad bit overweight but he gained 30 lbs in the past year. Honestly I wouldn't mind so much if he showed more interest in me; I feel like my partner should desire me much more. Also, he works 40 hour weeks and I've been working 60 hour weeks, so if anyone shouldn't have energy for sex it would be me. Thanks in advance for any advice, this is just one of many concerns but I appreciate your advice.

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Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    i can see your sex life getting much worse rather than better. weight gain has a disastrous effect on a mans libido as fat storage cells manufacture estrogens . not to mention the effect of metabolic syndrome on penile vascular health. Ask yourself if the sex were to dry up altogether is the relationship going to survive? if the answer is no its time to move on. But not without a honest open discussion about sex desires.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    The fact that he's masturbating several times a week and pretty much ignoring you is not great.

    Do you ever initiate sex? The idea that men should always make the first move is pretty deeply embedded in our culture, and women do like to feel sexually desirable, but if you want sex and he's not enthusiastic, maybe you just need to be more demanding? If he refuses your advances, then I think you should be wondering just what's going on in his head.

    As Nickvey points out, obesity can screw up male sexuality in several ways. Could him being overweight also be making him feel that he's unattractive?

    This seems to be a fairly serious relationship. If you want it to last, you clearly have to work this out, either by honest, open discussions with each other, or with the help of a counselor. If either you or he are not willing to do this work, then you have to ask yourself why you're still together.

    From what you say, you appear to have a lot going for you. As I'm sure you know, there are loads of guys out there who would love to be with a woman who wanted sex at least once a day.

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  • Kevinevan
    6 years ago

    There was a time in my life I had an active sex life and in my experience my girlfriends always wanted sex more than me. After the honeymoon period i was happy with 1-3 times a week too. I know big suprise I'm alone now but its the truth. Even now I rarely want sex, its just nice to know the option is there.

    I'm pretty sure women, overall have a higher sex drive than men after the teen, early 20's years.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    i have always had a high sex drive and like it twice a day and 20-30 minute sessions . sometimes i like to cum more than one time. the past several years have been a living hell because my wife no longer has any interest in my sex desires. she is no longer fertile and sees no point. its like she went impotent. But we are a team and we are past the age where we would split up just for a sex life. personally i wouldn't cross the street to screw a woman. too much hassle. its just sad knowing you are not worth a fuck session to sombody that owes all the aspects of their life to your work and success.

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