Mother-in-law-ish

15% Normal
17 Comments

My boyrfriend and I have been together now for about five years, I am 24 and he is 25. We are pretty serious about eachother.

Since he was 17 my boyfriend has been living with a woman named Claire. Claire, is his ex- girlfriends' mother. At first, I thought that this was weird, as he was living with his ex-girlfriend and her mother. Just to clarify the situation, he is still in contact with his biological mother, who is more than lovely.

Claire, has always been very obsessive over him. Demanding that she spend time with him and not with me. However in the last two years, we have fallen out with eachother, over little things.

Since then, she has been acting really strange towards him, almost inscestual behviour towards him,its werid as I suppose she is a mother figure. They go to the movies together, and watch films in the house. She buys him expensive gifts, and takes time off work to go shopping with him for the whole day, to buy him all these things. So far it ranges from a computer-ps3-wii-ipod-iphone...

What worries me is that, when she does not get to spend any time with him, say he is over my house or whatever. She cries, and goes off in a mood. She also texts him whilst he is with me, asking if he is ok, and does he have anytime for her.

Once I slept over her house, and she sat in her car in the early hours of the morning and cried for ages, not before throwing bedding at us and shouting.

I'm pretty sure this obsessive behaiour is abnormal. it's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend, and is exasabated by the fact that now she won't speak or so much as acknowledge my existence.

She sends him flirtatious text messages, and I know that I shouldn't find it creepy, but they cuddle up to eachother wit him resting his head on her chest when they sit down on the sofa!Im not sure whether she wants a son or a boyfriend!

Please help me, I'm at my wits end. this woman, treats me like dirt, and smothers my boyfriend. It makes me feel terrible. I have tried confronting her, but she denies everything, and continues her behaviour.

I dont know if i want to start a life with him, if she is going to get in the way.
What should I do? Any help is really appreciated!

Voting Results
15% Normal
Based on 89 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Wildman868788
    14 years ago

    Yep- get rid of him. A few months down the road you will realize you did the right thing. Just make sure he knows why you are dumping him, that way when his next girlfriend does the same thing and the one after that, he might realize what a mistake he made with you. CREEPY COUGAR! Have you ever met his ex girlfriend? If not, he may have just used her as an excuse. Maybe Claire is his girlfriend and he was embarassed that his girlfriend was actually old.

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  • weinereater
    12 years ago

    Ill bet you 50 he is beating them old beef curtains up right now.

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  • LAW13
    13 years ago

    Wow, I always said NEVER MARRY A MOMMAS BOY!! But your situation is even worse. Holy shit. I dont like ultimatums but I would say: her or me.

    PERIOD..

    Get tough girl. This is fucking gross.

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  • Penispoopoo
    14 years ago

    He obviously enjoys the attention his "mother" lavishes upon him, what man wouldn't?

    Unless he makes a break from her himself, unfortunately you're out of luck.

    Leave him, as he doesn't seem too serious about you.

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  • MILILF
    14 years ago

    Can you have this woman get in touch with my wifes mother, lol. I'd love to get the treatment from her that this cougar is giving your boyfriend. Hell my wifes mom is 5'10" gorgeous as hell and sports a 40DDD top. Can you say DAMN thats hot. :)

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  • GalacticEgg
    14 years ago

    FYI: this is not normal at all. In fact, this is probably psychologically damaging to all involved and good fodder for a book...please remember these experiences and include them in an autobiography for the world's entertainment.

    On a tangent, if you're a reader, try Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs or almost anything by John Irving for more dysfunctional family fun.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Quit guilting yourself about anything except this - why are YOU staying in this sick relationship with your loser boyfriend?

    You go on and on about her. But what about him? What kind of guy exploits a needy woman like this - his ex-girl friends mother? And drags his current girl friend into it?

    Oh and how he must enjoy the competition. Probably wants you 2 to mud wrestle over him.

    This is so pathetic. Either dump this for the loser he is, or stay with him & in doing so, you'll have accepted & deserve every bit of it.

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  • blackdove
    14 years ago

    Wow I'm surprised you stuck it out for so long. This Claire woman is obviously a cougar and is out to take your boyfriend. She's so obsessed with him and who knows what she tries to do when they're living together.

    I think you need to ask your boyfriend what is the closest thing to sexual he's done with this woman. He doesn't seem to be aware of the situation and should know that this behavior isn't normal, especially when you are his girlfriend. I think you should tell him to tell his cougar friend to treat you with respect. If he isn't willing to let go of these freebies from the cougar and possibly move back home with his mother, then dump him. He just wants to be a tool. It's not healthy for them to be under the same roof if she's crazy about him.

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  • gilliamjf
    14 years ago

    He's old enough to have an older partner. I'd just let them have each other and offer your friendship.

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  • andrian007
    14 years ago

    She buys him all that stuff in exchange for companionship? How different is he from a gigolo?

    This is creepy and just plain weird. He must leave her as soon as possible and if he doesn't want to, I think you should leave him. I'm really sorry but it takes two to work out a relationship. If he prefers to be with Claire, then you shouldn't put up with it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    This isn't normal AT ALL
    either he leaves her
    or you leave him
    hope it all works out

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  • Chonga
    14 years ago

    Lucky guy

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  • iheartkyo
    14 years ago

    the woman likes your boyfriend, very much so it seems, and not in a motherly way.... its not normal. its not ok. and your boyfriend allowing this unorthodox behavior is unexceptible in itself.

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  • user1
    15 years ago

    She is in love with him, and he endorses her behaviour because he likes the presents and the pampering.
    So the problem is him... and YOU! How do you allow that? You should make him open his eyes and leave that woman's house. If he refuses, you should leave him!

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  • nicarero
    15 years ago

    YOu need to take him away from her if you want to see any improvement. If he doesnt want to leave then you need to leave him and move on.

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  • Jim_Pfoss
    15 years ago

    Can you spell C-O-U-G-A-R?

    Be sure he wears a condom.

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  • [Old Memory]
    15 years ago

    Im sorry to say he is the problem.He is not a man if he is allowing this older woman to baby him and buy him gifts and snuggling cmon,She is obsessed and in love with him.Sounds like drama is gonna be there forever i suggest you take it as a blessing i know its not easy to be single but this relationship is not healthy you need to find a real man not some weird little boy who has a old sugar mama i hope you make the right decision think with your head not your heart...

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