Moral issues regarding new-found social confidence. iin?

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9 Comments

So, I have this little and close group of friends. We are what people usually call "the geeks". We stick together because of similar interests and social awkwardness.

However, I have started meeting new people in college and on my job... and I discovered that I am actually quite a social person. Whenever I tell people that I have geeky interests or that I didn't use to have many friends, they say that they "don't believe me".

And well, even though I do love my "geeky" friends, I do want to experience more in life as well and with them it is impossible to even move away from monitors. I figured out that my friends are not like me, they truly are socially inept. I already tried to implement new activities or to bring new people in our gang without success. Additionally, they have been implying that I am a sellout lately and that I "have changed" (negatively).

I have reached the sad conclusion that I have two options. Settle down with my current friends and have moderate fun or gambling everything into finding "something more". But it just feels so cruel to have these thoughts into my head, so I was wondering... Is this normal?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 46 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Wyomingite
    10 years ago

    Here's my suggestion.
    Tell your geeky friends that you still love them (or like, or whatever, I don't know how your people roll), but that you're also learning new things about yourself and you don't think you should be shamed for that. You can like vanilla ice cream AND coffee ice cream. Eating coffee doesn't mean you're selling out on vanilla.
    Explain to them that you really aren't selling out, that it hurt your feelings that they think that, and that you just need to change and grow like any other healthy individual.
    Obviously, choose your timing and words carefully. How you deliver this talk does impact the outcome (I've been though similar crap a few times now).

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  • lemoncity
    10 years ago

    That's kind of like this manga about a guy who was part of a website for nerdy otakus, and then he got a girlfriend and everyone was jealous..

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    You're cooler than your friends; it's not your fault. The fact that you feel bad about this proves that you're decent person.

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  • RapidlyRotatingPanda
    10 years ago

    Or you could try an elaborate scheme to split yourself into various aliases with different personalities which you become, depending on which social group you are with.
    Like well practiced method acting.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    They are not true friends if they turn against you for being yourself.

    It is normal to drift away from friends, and it is not cruel to cut ties if it needs to be done.

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  • macaroniheyo
    10 years ago

    Why not hang out with both groups of people separately?

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  • Diver2
    10 years ago

    Are you a fucking fruit?

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    It's your life to live as you please.
    It's always sad to lose friends because your interests diverge, but doing anything because someone else thinks it's best for you is an error.
    If these "friends" were really friends, they would support you and be happy that you have found other interests, and perhaps wish to share them with you, not degrade you and call you a sellout.
    Move on.

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    • Short4Words
      10 years ago

      What he said. What's the point of life if you can't grow as a person? Take a chance.

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