Mood swings
When I believe in something that exists objectively, it seems like an evident truth; the world is real, and things seem to exist outside of obscuring interpretations and definitions. But at times I feel lost, like everything is metaphorical, contrived, and self-prophesied. For a moment I’m comforted by my insight of the world, and the next I am haunted by it. The thoughts themselves are imaginary, but I commit them to memory with more vivid authenticity than the way my life is actually preceding in terms that most people would see them as happening. Most people would take physical abuse and the death of a loved one as traumatizing, or gratitude from others and life lessons as being meaningful. I merely wonder about these things and what they mean in broader contexts. My mood swings are dependent on these obsessive/intrusive thoughts, which I perceive as being of greater importance than subjective perceptions. Basically, my emotions fluctuate based on the way things happen in my own little world rather than how they happen in real life.