Mile-high alcoholic

58% Normal
13 Comments

Normally I could take or leave drinking. I don't drink much at home and when I do I rarely if ever have problems when I do drink and have often been the voice of reason among other drinkers.

When I get on an airplane I turn into a raging alcoholic. (sometimes I start at the airport bar) I like bloody marys because I can get a few shots of vodka, an extra cup of ice, lemon slices and mix. It's something to keep me busy while I get hammered and I've drank some planes out of vodka.

The trick is to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!! Otherwise you may be viewed as trouble by the flight crew. having an aisle seat helps to make bathroom access easier.

One time I sat with some mormons and they were giving me some dirty looks, but too bad. Every time they looked at me disapprovingly, I ordered another shot.

I've never had a problem being smashed in the sky and plan to continue to be a mile high alcoholic.

Is it normal?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 53 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    If you masturbate in the airplane bathroom does it count as joining the mile high club, technically you had the safest sex you could possible have there?

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    • NotStrangeBird
      11 years ago

      WTF does this have to do with drinking? Go play flight simulator naked or something and make up your own article!!!

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Well I was drinking when I did it. Boy do you feel silly now I bet.

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        • NotStrangeBird
          11 years ago

          1. Better (for all parties involved) that I feel silly than aroused.

          2. You should've whacked off in the airport bathroom instead. You could've met a US congressman!!!

          3. Those airplane bathrooms are gross. I still would've worn a condom.

          4. I hate whacking off when I'm drunk.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Wow, I literally agree 100% with each one of those points.

            Well except for wanting to meet a US Congressman, I'd rather punch him/her in the face.

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  • Dazzle
    11 years ago

    Reminds me of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

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    • NotStrangeBird
      11 years ago

      Better than Leaving Las Vegas. I've yet to drop acid at the airport though.

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      • Dazzle
        11 years ago

        I've yet to see this movie. Thanks; I'm always looking for good ones to watch!

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        • NotStrangeBird
          11 years ago

          I didn't drink for a month after I saw Leaving Las Vegas. Great movie, but very depressing.

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  • thanksforthefreecar
    11 years ago

    One of these days your goingto get hammered and throw a temper tantrum.

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    • NotStrangeBird
      11 years ago

      1. I'm one of the happiest most affiable drunks you'll ever meet.

      2. 95% of the time nobody can even tell that I've been drinking.

      3. I don't throw temper tantrums. That's kid stuff.

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      • thanksforthefreecar
        11 years ago

        Well that's good.

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    • NotStrangeBird
      11 years ago

      Been doing it 20 years with no problems. Like I said, keep your mouth shut. Only thing I'm worried about is one of those "airport 77" scenarios where I have to land the plane because the pilot ate bad fish or something.

      Of course I'd have no problem landing the plane safely, but I'd probably get a DUI afterwards.

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