Men treat me like shit then apologize straight after

27% Normal

It's so annoying. This is online, which I realise is "not a big deal" and I should just get off if I can't handle it or whatever. It's not just random trolls though. It's people I have nice chats with, exchange lots of personal info, then suddenly they turn to an asshole for no reason! Then like 5 minutes later they are apologizing profusely for it and say they are just joking. I can take a joke as well as the next guy, but they are not funny at all. Just verbal attacks against me. I do not even care to repeat them here . Even dark humor is one of my favorite types, but this goes beyond that to an almost sociopathic level (which i would understand if theyre trolling, but this is after sharing their verifiable personal info and lots of genuinely deep conversations with me!) They just make me angry beyond belief, one of them even made me cry. But then 2 minutes later he was desperately searching for me to apologize and even gives me nice things. Wtf is this a common thing for guys to do?

Voting Results

27% Normal

Based on 45 votes (12 yes)

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Comments ( 45 )

Paradiddle

10 years ago

Honestly, I've seen this offline and online. I seriously despise it too because all it is is just some guy who likes to be controlling and hateful and is testing the waters by seeing just how far he can go just to get away with it later by apologizing or giving some excuse. I've also seen this from females too believe it or not. Either way, it seems normal enough to be very common but I wish people would have more self respect to not let it happen. Everyone deserves a piece of mind and if anyone, even a best friend, has tendencies like what you've described then I believe they should be forced to either stop or find someone else to talk to. No one should have to deal with this and even if its just that they were having a bad day, they don't have to take it out on others and it isn't others' fault either.

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[Old Memory]

10 years ago

You have every right to feel upset about being treated like crap by people you thought you could trust. It doesn't matter if it's the Internet or not, it doesn't give them the right to sporadically act like a cunt.

There are a LOT of immature and developmentally delayed folks on the Internet, it's a haven for them where they can find some acceptance they're lacking in real life. Just be more careful about who you invest your emotions in because you're too nice of a person to let jerks like that make you feel so shitty.

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Shelbs

10 years ago

Well, from the comments you've made about your situation I would say that the main problem is that you let these guys stay. I mean, you stated that you speak to both nice and bad guys, so why not only speak to the nice guys? Why can't you kick the bad ones out?

There is a reason as to why people do the things they do. So there is a reason why you let them stay once they flip on you. Are you hoping they'll go back to what they were? Do you not have much self-respect? Do you want to be the one to change them?

Don't get me wrong, everyone goes through rough patches and takes their frustration out on those they care about. But if this is happening regularly then it's something you need to find a solution to.

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GuessWho

10 years ago

I would not like to think of this as normal...
...but maybe you're just one of those types of people that are fun to tease.
...maybe your personality gives people that impression.
...it's easy for them to take it too far though.

That, or you just happen to have the misfortune of running into a lot of assholes.

Maybe try asking them why they did it.

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RoseIsabella

10 years ago

*puts on a Freud mask and lights a cigar*
Tell me about your father.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  you mean to say because I go after guys who treat me like shit most likely have problems with him? I get this so often, I don't understand why, my father is 100% normal !! more normal than me even.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    10 years ago
    
    Well, How do you feel about "nice" guys?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      Depends what you mean by nice.. I've had bad experiences with "nice" guys too (actually made a story about that here as well) in fact the reason I start out liking these guys is because they're nice, they just seem to go crazy for no reason.
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        10 years ago
        
        There is an old saying that goes something like this, "If one person tell you that you have a tail I wouldn't worry about it but if ten people tell you that you have a tail I would take a look back there." I mean no offense but I still believe there is something from your past or from your relationship with your parents that is attracting you to people who are verbally abusive.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        They only thing I can think of is that I look up to my parents very much, maybe I have a too strong relationship with them, they have always been like my best friends, because I have trouble socializing in real life. My dad used to criticize me a lot if i did stupid things but he was still nice other times so I figured it was normal, and my mom is just very neurotic- over protective and judgmental, but also nice and just wanted the best for me. These days I do anything just to please my parents, because on my own I really have no direction. But they are both good parents IMO,better than most, not abusive, smart, gave me everything I needed and more, unless you can fault them for mental disorders and passing on poor genes, but Nobody's perfect
        
        So, what say you, ms Freud?
        
        Also, wouldn't the seeking out of abusive men only count in real life relationship? I do not seek out any men in real life, it's too hard for me.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        If there is I don't know about it
        
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        10 years ago
        
        Have you learned your lesson yet?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        no, what was it?
        
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        DiamondGirl
        
        10 years ago
        
        Teach him a lesson he'll never forget! Here use this whip. It's leather.
        
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Avant-Garde

10 years ago

What type of site are you doing this on? Define "personal information"? How soon in the "relationship" do you reveal this information?

Maybe, you should get off that site. Or, in general, be cautious about what type of personal information you give out and who too. It could be that the things you say leads them to developing the wrong idea of you.

Alternatively, what of all of these "guys" really are just the same person?

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- Avant-Garde
  
  10 years ago
  
  *to
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  It's a rather primitive drawing game that the moderators have abandoned and it gets hacked constantly but I don't mind any of that, it's part of the fun. I'd rather not say the name cause its pretty obscure and doesn't need anymore trolls (not that you are a troll but some people that read this)type of info- first name, age, location, pictures. Same as everyone else on the site. There is no private messages so whoevers online can see it, and I don't have a problem with that, especially since most of the users are from other countries, and I don't see how someone can get mad at me over that info. It has a lot of nice people and it is the only site of its kind so it'd be hard to quit. It's a lot like this site. I'm actually pretty paranoid about certain users being the same guy but I know for sure these 3 are completely different.
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    Can you block users? Or, launch complaints to the moderators about this user(s)?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      no, you can't block, and you can complain to mods but no one knows if they even read feedback, because they never do anything. I was on the verge of hacking the site just to delete his account, but he's back to being all nice.
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        I still wouldn't trust him, if I were you.
        
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[Old Memory]

10 years ago

Stop wasting your time talking to strange men online. Meet a real guy who you can talk to face to face.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Tried, can't
  
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[Old Memory]

10 years ago

Its hard to judge this is normal without examples of what they are saying.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  one of them insist that i was molested as a kid which is not true at all. When I say it's not true, they say things like, "oh poor you" and go into details about incestual rape. Then make fake accounts using my name and pretending to be me. The other one said i was an idiot and we were never friends, that is the one who made me cry because I like him the most, and he is the one that was desperately searching for me about 5 minutes after me giving him the "silent treatment", he is a graphic artist and drew me a nice picture for an apology. The other guy just keeps saying he respects that I basically "friendzoned" him (I gave him many opportunities to leave if he felt used by being my friend and nothing more) then he totally went off multiple times but keeps coming back (He has my phone number, because we were pretty good friends for about 4 years. i finally blocked him on skype and deleted his number from my phone. honestly the reason why i didn't sooner is because I was afraid he would do something crazy)
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    10 years ago
    
    It sounds like these are different cases. Some seem normal, such as the graphic artist doesn't seem so bad. The one who makes the fake accounts seems more vindictive and I wouldn't trust him at all.
    
    Its normal for people to get mad and have fights and apologize but doing this like trying to make you look bad to others and being purposely mean is not normal or something you should put up with.
    
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Sog

10 years ago

We're only getting half the story here. It's very hard to believe that you are so innocent and not doing something to invite this kind of drama into your life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  I don't know what to say, I don't do anything out of the ordinary. I act the same around all guys, half of my online male friends are totally normal and fine with the way I act, very nice and friendly to me all the time. the others go crazy. Even my normal friends know these crazy people, and make fun of them, troll them, asking me to join as well, and if i defend the guys my normal friends say they don't understand what I see in him, and continue to make jokes about how crazy they are
  
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- DiamondGirl
  
  10 years ago
  
  I agree! Tell us the whole story. Please then Sog and I will help u.
  
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  - valisque
    
    10 years ago
    
    I have to ask... Is it a personal goal for you to get more down votes than anyone else on this site or does it just come naturally?
    
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    - DiamondGirl
      
      10 years ago
      
      I think this is the way I am naturally, Don't b a hater, And My goal is 2 tone my ass. So They'll wanna put more astroglide inside me. They can u their left hand if they wanna. And as for their thumbs they can stick them in my ass too! Holla!
      
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LizardSkin

10 years ago

Shut up ya whiny ass bitch!

Oops I sorry.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  lol
  
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Evenios

10 years ago

this is a reverse of what i posted earlier. I think this happens way too often so i put this is normal.

here is the problem (and to be honest i didnt read your post because i can imagine the reply) Women today are pretty clueless when it comes to men. The problem is most of you younger girls are raised up to wear the tight clothes and act a certian way to get a guy. the problem is a lot of you are so desprite to find a guy you will end up falling for anyone who treats you nice after 5 minutes.

What gets me is that i have a disablity and yet most women flat out ignore me, however a hot guy comes along and even if he treats the girl like shit they still want him.

You should not be with men who treat you that way. unless you just have low self esteem and think thats all you can get. more times then not. women who have been treated badly/abused end up getting with the same types of guy because thats all they think they can get or they end up falling for the same lines instead of making sure the guy is for real.

You need to stand up for yourself and stop letting guys walk all over you. that is how abuse happens. and the problem today is i am sick of the women who has been treated that way who has done NOTHING about it to act like they are weak.

i seen women speak their mind. So there is no excuse for a women today to not speak up or get a friend to speak for them (befriend a very big tall imposing guy is a good tip. just as friends a big guy you can count on who wont take advantage of you but who will come to your aid if a guy is abusing you) not to hurt them but just to put the fear of God into them to never do that again

but seriusly. You women need to stop this. it is pathetic in my view and the problem is you end up keep doing the same thing. I do not understand why women today will let a hot guy treat them like shit its beyond me.

never works for me though the 2nd i say one little thing to a women and they rather run.

Stand up for yourself and stop posting online is it normal face your problems or else you will live the rest of your life being hurt, abused, and feeling like crap.

but the problem is most of you women today dont have a thought in your pretty little heads you are a fully not capible of figuring this out on your own.

and another thought

DONT HAVE SEX WITH A GUY AFTER YOU JUST MET HIM.

chances are guys who push for sex right away are going to be the types who will take advantage of you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Most of these guys have "disability" too, if you count autism as a disability. they are like in their 30s and still living at home and never had a girl friend. but I am the same way, just younger but not much, im 22 and never had a bf. I'm probably on the autism spectrum too, never asked anyone. I do not have to see what these guys look like to love them. Most of them i saw their picture long after talking to them many times, and most people would say theyre "ugly" but I dont care because i love them so much. I know what you mean though it seems pretty rare in guys or girls to be like this. i wish i knew some men like that in real life too. but thats not the way real life works- you get a persons physical appearance before their personality, so most men irl are attracted to me for my looks then get "scared off" (more like bored, it seems) of my personality.
  
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Sinep

10 years ago

It's completely normal, tell them "stfu you annoying prick" and ignore them they'll shut up eventually..
If you're offended over the internet then... you just need to close the chat and rest a while :|

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Yeah I try to do that but it's a very addicting website, not just for chat but the games there. If i don't chat it is still shows up next to the games, so I can watch him , faking my account and completely embarrassing me with it to my real friends on that site, and everyone will think its really me because I'm not there to say its not.
  
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  - Sinep
    
    10 years ago
    
    If they go as far as faking your account and humiliating you then those aren't friends dude, they just enjoy laughing at you.. be wary of them.
    
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Razaa

10 years ago

Girl all guys are assholes trick is to find one that is an asshole to everyone but you. My BF is a total jerk to everyone but me and that's why I love him. And if he acts up.. no bjs for a week. it works! :P

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- Sinep
  
  10 years ago
  
  Did you even read?
  She/He said through the internet, people she hasn't met real life and probably just chatted through games, skype and other social website..
  
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Are You Normal?

Men treat me like shit then apologize straight after