Men: do/did you want a wedding?

I'm a female, and I don't really see the fuss about weddings and I was wondering what men think. Big weddings, anyway.

Are there any men who actually WANT a wedding and plan it and have it how they want it? Or do most men not care? Not want a wedding at all? Just along for the ride? Want a wedding to be a certain way but the wife overruled you?

This isn't about marriage....just weddings. And just men, please!!

I don't want a wedding!! Marriage yes/maybe...wedding, NO!!	18
I had (or will have) a wedding but don't care about the festivities.	5
I had a wedding and hated it!!	3
I had a wedding and loved it!!	0
I just did/will do what she wanted. Standard operating procedure.	6
I don't care about any wedding!! I hate weddings!!	12
I was very involved in my wedding, and I loved it!!	3
I was very involved in my wedding and ended up hating it!!	0
A wedding is important to my religion so it is a must!!	8
Other (??)	15

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Comments ( 24 )

Mando

11 years ago | pl

I think the question is mostly about the costs of weddings. And it is about brides. There is a whole industry that includes TV shows brainwashing women about "the most important day of their lives" and equating that to the most expensive.

There are many important events in life - a marriage that lasts more than a few years being one. I think it is silly and selfish to mortgage your future on an expensive wedding. You can have a great wedding without going crazy - and a large wedding sharing costs with family/friends (which is the traditional approach). You can better spend the money on education or a home.

But weddings have become very commercial, an ordeal and financially foolish. Certainly money isn't everything, but being stupid about it is no virtue either.

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- biology80
  
  11 years ago
  
  I can understand breathing, whispering, kissing, and licking. But bugs?
  
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Dad

11 years ago

Personally I say its just the brides day, and men are along for the ride.
Lots of cost and time organizing (usually many months) just to get married? Seems a bit over the top to most guys.

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dom180

11 years ago

I wouldn't have an expensive one. I remember reading that the average cost of a wedding is something like £20,000. You don't need to spend all that money to have the best day of your life. The best day of my life so far didn't cost me a penny. You can have as great a day with £20 as you can £20,000 if you spend it well.

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- dom180
  
  11 years ago
  
  <a href="http://www.ukweddingbelles.com/weddingmagazine/budgeting/267-wedding-costs-2012" rel="nofollow">http://www.ukweddingbelles.com/weddingmagazine/...</a>
  
  Wow, it actually *is* £20,000. Turns out I remembered something, unbelievably. Including such highlights as the quite reasonable:
  
  Flowers: £890 (presumably they're Moon flowers. Those must exist, or they wouldn't cost that much)
  Photography: £1080 (because memories aren't good enough, apparently)
  Stationery: £600 (seriously?! Are they using gold-plated pencils and rulers made from the cross Jesus was crucified on?! How is £600 even possible?)
  The bride's outfit: £1500 (a sensible price for a dress you'll use once in you life, ever)
  Transport: £590 (WHY? Who requires that expense of transport o__o)
  
  ... as well as other classic examples of human idiocy. Please tell me people don't *really* pay that much for a day? :(
  
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  - Mando
    
    11 years ago
    
    Exactly.
    
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dappled

11 years ago

I wouldn't want a traditional wedding but I'd go along with it for the sake of peace. If I got my way there'd be a wedding and wedding party, as per normal, but not on the same day.

The wedding would be just me and the person I'm marrying somewhere special to both of us (you know the kind of thing; butterfly house at the zoo, or a remote island, or a site of some significance to us). It would be just me, them, and someone who can legally marry us. After the "I now pronounce you..." part, the third party would disappear and I'd be alone with the person I'd just married.

A week or two later (when we got home if we were abroad) there'd be an informal party for everybody else to celebrate but me and my new partner would have had our first week or so of married life completely devoted to each other and not having to think about anyone else. I know it sounds selfish but if you can't be selfish on your wedding day, when can you?

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FrancoisDillinger

11 years ago

It doesn't matter to me.

I wouldn't care if we made a pinky promise, as long as we loved each other.

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Unimportant

11 years ago

This is so sudden... I don't know what to say...

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iEatZombies_

11 years ago

They probably don't like the materialism that they see from many women when the word 'wedding' comes up. A lot of women focus on the 'dream wedding' and don't realize how they burden their men in the process. They can't see how the materialism competes with the future husband's worth. The pressure of 'You better provide this' really says a lot to a guy about what his lady thinks of him, and I wouldn't feel to good about a wedding if my partner was asking about cake flavors while I'm puking in the bathroom. I understand wanting a guy to financially hold his own, but giving a girl her dream wedding is NOT an obligation. It's time many women learn this.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

No. Why would I want to put myself in a position that has the potential to ruin me, or any other man for that matter?

Marriage does men no favours, especially not legally.

I never plan to trap myself by marriage, with the potential to get everything taken off of me that I worked for, including children, if the female decides she just wants to leave.

I hope one day all men realize that marriage does nothing well for them, and sets them up for the potential to be bled dry due to divorce. I think the number of marriages are reducing though due to men not wanting married, and I hope the percentage increases.

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- Dad
  
  11 years ago
  
  I'm not the OP, nor did I thumb down your comment.
  
  Well the OP specifically stated not marriage (yes or no) but a having a wedding ceremony.
  
  I will say it would be a little awkward for your potential children (you know, the 'bastards'!) because what surname should they take? A dual hyphenated one? I don't like that personally.
  
  Plus de facto marriage laws can STILL allow the woman to take your money and definitely the kids. Are you saying that you never want to live with a woman ever?
  
  You know you can have a prenuptial agreement legally signed up before marriage that states 'she' gets none of your before marriage assets.
  
  Anyway, topic about wedding ceremonies, quite obviously you are against them.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    While ItDuz is slightly off topic related to the actual original post, what was said does make a great point. In almost no way do I see how marriage benefits men anywhere near the way it benefits women, if it benefits men at all. Worried about a surname for your children is slightly irrelevant as a bigger question would be how well kids would adjust to a single parent household OR an unstable marriage between a man and women, who just did it because "its what you are supposed to do".
    
    Its also not as easy as you make it seem to get a woman to sign a prenuptial agreement, most will outright refuse to do it, knowing that they are potentially signing away their own financial security. Not to mention the fact many, MANY prenups have a statute of limitations that expires after 10 years or so.
    
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    - Mando
      
      11 years ago
      
      ItDuz and you are not just "slightly" off topic, you specifically ignore the OP who was clear that: "This isn't about marriage....just weddings." That's just rude. Take your whiny quibbles elsewhere please.
      
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IMissMary

8 years ago

Only a man thats a fool would get married.

Surely every man on Earth has heard the warnings about marriage.

Men don't do it!

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bigfatpoo

11 years ago

Male.

I am absolutley dreading my wedding day, and personally i don't understand why everything has to be so expensive and stressfull and timeconsuming over a ceremony that could potentially cost £100 and be over with in 10 minutes.

Personally, it wouldn't be fair for the female to have a crappy wedding in a reception that costs 100 quid.... but it shouldn't have to cost the guy a years wages....

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biology80

11 years ago

oh and I can understand breathing, whispering, kissing, and licking. But bugs?

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biology80

11 years ago

no

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Ryan556

11 years ago

I just want to get married or just don't it's not like I'm gona leave her I want a wedding before I have a baby but that's it

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What'sright

11 years ago

I am on my second marriage. The first one, I just went along for the ride. I felt like I didn't belong there. The second one, I had a part in the planning. It was a very small part and it was just the music. However, I felt like I belonged.

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SparksTheGoldenFoxie

11 years ago

I don't really care one way or another if there is a wedding great if there isn't that's also great

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Wüstenfuchs

11 years ago

I can't stand the wedding process. I wouldn't mind going through it for her, but I want nothing to do with any of it beyond that. It seems superfluous to me. :/

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Me either OP. ^^ I've never even thought about it much but I think what dappled said would be more my thing, except my dog would be the ring bearer! :D

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

It matters to me. Explain as such if you please.

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Men: do/did you want a wedding?