Men are turned off that i live with my parents not by choice?

38% Normal
23 Comments

I'm 27, I live in New York City and the entire block I live in is all families with their kids living with them.

I have my own space. It's a bedroom and then a walk in closet that I made into a kitchen with a stool and counter, fridge and microwave. I buy my own things always have.

Anyway all my neighbors are entire families living the same way and I'm no exception. In fact once grandparents pass away, the parents will move upstairs and the kids and their new family will have the downstairs..sad thought but just stating how it goes in new York.

I've been thinking I don't want to do that and want to move away so I can actually get my own place so been open to meeting people in upstate new York where rent is dirt cheap although it's incredibly boring and isolated up there near Canada.

Two guys I was interested in said it was a turn off that I live with family and that really offended me because I work a professional job, I have a master's degree, I don't plan to stay here anyway yet they think it's a turn off and I can't figure out why. I'm a science teacher, I can't afford 3k a month on rent alone for a one bedroom apartment, I'm no millionaire. I explained to them that everyone in new York either lives with their parents or multiple roommates.

I only get paid 43k lol I literally can't afford an apartment it would be 3k+ my other bills and food which would bring me in the high negative. I explained they need around 60k minimum to live decently alone here and they got rude with me and just ghosted.

I'm really just baffled by the whole thing. One of them was even telling me there must be places for $500 a month which was actually crazy as no there really isn't.

The thing is nearly everyone lives with parents here so it's the first time I ever heard someone oppose it.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 13 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • KholatKhult
    3 years ago | pl

    The ones being weirded out by it probably aren’t the marrying type, so don’t worry about running them off. It’s pretty standard that women live at home or with roommates until they partner up, living alone fucking sucks.

    Though it’s really worrying you have a profession that wouldn’t let you live on your own. A career should be able to sustain you enough for the basics, I don’t think living in NYC is living within your means if that’s how much you make.

    But even if you had the money, it isn’t the norm for young women to live alone. Anybody who is shaming you probably wants something that wouldn’t be appropriate in the eye of your family.

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  • bigbudchonga
    3 years ago

    I wouldn't be weirded out by this. Did those two guys not live in New York by any chance?

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  • rocketdave
    3 years ago

    What's their problem, don't they have a place or are they still with their parents?

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  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    I see two possible factors; and it could be a combination of both:

    1) This is an indication that they are not interested in you; and only that.

    2) But is the reason they are not interested because how you present yourself and your belief or concern level about living with your parents or relatives (are you presenting yourself with confidence and comfort with the situation (even if you wish to improve things), or are you perhaps ashamed and somewhat not comfortable with your living situation.

    Most guys will read your lack of confidence have a natural objection to you. However, most will not understand why they are not satisfied with you, and just say that its the fact that you live with your parents (and not that it's your attitude and lack of self confidence about the situation).

    Perhaps you should get some books on self confidence or take some online instructions on self confidence.

    I'd consider anyone living at home (or with others) in a high rent location as normal. The cheapest apartments (or rooms) are not very positive places to be in general (I've done those before, and will gladly live with someone who's positive than go back to that again).

    I wish you the best with this,

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    I've never met a guy who's turned off by a woman living with her parents.

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  • freakyman69
    3 years ago

    Most likely dudes who only want to bang and move on. Kind of hard for them to do that when mom & dad are in the next room.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    3 years ago

    Did these guys actually stop to take a look around? New York in general is an expensive place to live. Even the poorer, run down, ghetto parts have expensive rent. Most people who want to live on their own wind up moving to a state with a lower cost of living and usually wind up doing much better there. You're not in the wrong here, Op. They are.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Would you date a guy still living with his parents?

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    • asdfgh0987
      3 years ago

      Yeah. You can't judge someone solely based off their living situation, especially in NYC.

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    • Cuntsiclestick
      3 years ago

      I like this question.

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  • Mcochik
    3 years ago

    Yea it’s normal you live with your parents lol I’m a male 27 and do the same I’m not moving out until I have to it can atleast afford it myself or with another person in a serious relationship those guys aren’t worth your time anyways don’t worry about it

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  • leggs91200
    3 years ago

    Men are interested in a woman's boobs and vagina, they don't care about your degree, income, professional job etc.

    Something just seems "off" here. They might not like the idea of having sex with your parents around but they could always invite you to their place.

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  • smartbunny
    3 years ago

    Three things:
    1.You actually have a pretty good salary if you really live in New York.
    2. I never heard of anyone turning a closet into a mini kitchen while living with their parents. Yeah people live with their parents but they actually share the space-including the kitchen.
    3. Maybe it's a typo or I'm not reading it right but (4th paragraph) NY is not near Canada?

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    • Clunk42
      3 years ago

      OP states that they've been thinking of moving to upstate New York, and New York's north border does border Canada, so it is near Canada.

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  • --
    3 years ago

    https://www.rent.com/new-jersey/bloomfield-apartments/heritage-village-at-bloomfield-4-100074431

    https://www.rent.com/new-jersey/barnegat-apartments/laurel-oaks-apartments-4-100070241

    https://www.rent.com/new-jersey/egg-harbor-city-apartments/heritage-village-at-galloway-4-100074548

    https://www.rent.com/new-jersey/sewell-apartments/tanyard-oaks-4-100035365

    These are close enough and cheap

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    • Niko12321
      3 years ago

      ...no
      please know the difference between new york and new jersey

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      • --
        3 years ago

        All I know about new jersey is from what I seen on that crappy jersey shore tv show. I know camden is in nj and its a bit of a shit neighbour hood, even so, I would live there.

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    • asdfgh0987
      3 years ago

      EEEEEWWWWWWWWW, NEW JERSEY????!?!! You cruel bastard!!!!

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    • olderdude-xx
      3 years ago

      Jersey isn't NY... Those might not be suitable at all for all kinds of reasons that I think most locals would understand are common (even if they personally are not affected by those reasons).

      I have only visited the area and various cities and Long Island several times - and it's obvious to anyone who really talks to people (I grew up and live in Wisconsin).

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      • --
        3 years ago

        Mate I live in Australia. I just did a quick search for cheap rentals. Jersey is close enough, might not be new york new york but some of jersey is in new york

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        • Clunk42
          3 years ago

          New Jersey is a completely different state, so it's not physically possible for some of New Jersey to be in New York.

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          • --
            3 years ago

            part of the State of New Jersey is part of New York City, bit confusing having a state and a city called new york

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            • Clunk42
              3 years ago

              Oh, so it's like Kansas City, Kansas and Kansas City, Missouri.

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