Men and abortions

86% Normal
29 Comments

So I've been thinking about abortion, not personally but as a hypothetical scenario.
I'm definitely pro choice, but I've never been in a relationship or had sex which makes me wonder about men and abortions.
To be completely honest, if I were in a relationship and got pregnant and decided on an abortion, I would consult the 'father' and take his feelings into account, but at the end of the day I'd make the decision myself.
My reasoning is simple. My body, my decision.I deal with the repercussions, it affects me more than him. He can walk out at any time, I can't. It affects my career, it affects me physically and emotionally, and I'm never giving anyone my right to choose what's best for me, and the child I may or may not carry.
My question here is basically, is this a common view point? And as the man, or the 'father' of the baby, in that situation, how would you react to not having a decisive vote?
It just struck me of how powerless a person might feel.

Is it normal that I believe the woman ought to make the decision any way she pleases?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 71 votes (61 yes)
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Comments ( 29 )
  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    That's the way I feel. When it comes down to it, it's my decision.

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  • Ono
    12 years ago

    As a male, I agree. Ultimately the choice lies with the woman, whether we agree with it or not. The man gets a choice in a) their sexual partner and b) what level of protection/birth control they use. I'd hope with my heart they would listen to how I felt about it, but really that comes back to point a.

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    • DolphinAngel
      12 years ago

      The woman gets a chance of birth protection too so it's her fault too! Also she can choose there sexual partners!

      So either the man shouldn't have to pay when he doesn't want the child but the woman does OR she has to abort...

      If the male wants the child and the female not than it's his problem, ok... But I'm sure that case won't happen really often =P

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      • Ono
        12 years ago

        Well of course the woman has the same options, but she doesn't get to choose if it's her body that carries the child, which for me is ultimately what it comes down to. I can't demand she do something with her body that she doesn't want to do, if I want to avoid the situation I have those two sets of choices to avoid it.

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        • DolphinAngel
          12 years ago

          Yeah it's her body and stuff but both man and woman had the same responsibility and options before and both should've equal right to choose... she has the option to choose over her body and what she will do but the man shouldn't have to pay when she doesn't want to abort!!!

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  • DolphinAngel
    12 years ago

    It's kind of unfair that the male hasn't the right to say something against an abortion or for... anyway, he should at least have the right to say that he doesn't want to pay!!!

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    • Dot123
      12 years ago

      The male has the right to punch that bitch in the stomach and give her a home-made abortion.

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    • thinkingaboutit
      12 years ago

      His choices are: pay a few hundred dollars or pay multiple thousands of dollars or jail.

      lol.

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      • DolphinAngel
        12 years ago

        Yeah fucking injustified!

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  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    It's difficult. I think men should have some choice about whether their unborn child is terminated. A man can't force a woman to terminate her baby, yet she has the power to terminate his without even notifying him.

    I know it's different because she's the one carrying it, but that's only a temporary thing. After birth, they should both be equal parents. I feel that society doesn't put much stock in fatherhood and there's an increasing "They're only men. They don't matter" attitude.

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    • Nyet
      12 years ago

      After birth, of course both parents are equal. But you can't exactly get a post birth abortion can you? (Well you can but then it's murder).

      Men should have the right to give his partner his opinion, and even plead with her if he really wants to, but in the end, who's the most effected? Her.

      Let's say we have a couple, Jill and Olly.
      Jill gets pregnant, and after a long period of deciding, and despite Olly wanting to keep the child, she wants a termination.
      However, in this hypothetical situation, Olly is legally allowed to tell the people who work at the abortion clinic that he doesn't want Jill to get an abortion. Jill is turned away.

      Wouldn't that be ignoring Jill's human rights?

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      • Frosties
        12 years ago

        The example you gave is a good one. Where one gender's rights are ignored in favour of the other. Sadly, we live in a world where that happens. Men have no rights over the unborn babies they father.

        This cuts either way. If they want the child, they have no right to stop the mother terminating. If they don't want the child, they have no right to stop the mother keeping a baby they'll have to pay a serious amount of money for over 18 years.

        Is it right that one gender can decide to end the life of the other's child, or to make a decision that will radically change the other's life financially? No. It goes against all the principles of equality.

        However, if you look back at my post, what I was most keen on is that men have *some* rights. Not 100% of the choice. Not even 50% (because they don't carry the child), but something which protects their interests, even while leaving the final judgement down to the mother.

        For instance, maybe it should be illegal to terminate a baby without making a reasonable effort to notify the father of that child. Perhaps if the two parents don't agree, there should be a cooling-off period with conciliation services. But there is nothing at all on the statute books.

        This is what bothers me most about this. That, on this issue, one gender is in the very precarious position of having no rights whatsoever. It leaves them open to leverage.

        I know it's an emotive issue and the idea of equality for men is fairly laughable, but I believe in equality and I believe it should apply regardless of gender. Isn't that exactly what it means?

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        • Its_Called_Love
          12 years ago

          I agree, the father should have at least a heads up and a chance to change her mind.

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        • dejaentendu!
          12 years ago

          That's what bugs me about this. I mean, if I were a man and I wanted to keep the baby and the woman decided not to, it probably would mess me up. And I think men ought to have a say, not as much as women, but yes, that 'cooling off' period where they need to talk.
          But still (I guess i have abandonment issues or something) I hold that the woman gets the deciding vote, because a man can walk out and be stuck with a bill, as opposed to everything that actually goes into having a child, or even terminating a pregnancy.

          So I'd like it to be fairer, just still tipped in favor of the woman.

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        • wigsplitz
          12 years ago

          Men have to decide....do they want NO abortion or allow abortion and have no say in the matter. There's no way to have both.

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          • Frosties
            12 years ago

            I disagree completely on everything you say. I don't think the legality of abortion is something to be decided by men, nor do I think men should have no say in the life of their unborn children.

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            • wigsplitz
              12 years ago

              I wasn't saying that men should be the ONLY deciders on legality, I just meant that they can't have it both ways. They can't expect to have a say, as in making abortion more 'fair'...because there's just no reasonable legal way to do this. So it's either deal with it being legal, and slightly unfair in some cases, or level the playing field completely and make it illegal.

              Any kind of law you could possibly propose that would either try to convince a woman to have an abortion or to not have one would either be completely ineffective and easily circumvented, or be coercive in nature and be just plain wrong for that reason alone. Do you really see our legal system allowing or promoting a 'do it or else' type of situation? Especially with abortion?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Women should always have the choice on if they'll be a parent or not, that doesn't mean she has the right to force the man in to fatherhood.

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    • wigsplitz
      12 years ago

      As long as she didn't rape him, he had a choice.

      You fail to realize that the female is 'forced' into motherhood as well. Yes, women have the choice of abortion, but HELLO it's not an option for many, many women. They don't believe in it or can't bring themselves to do it. So if a woman doesn't believe in abortion, then she's just as stuck as this 'poor helpless man'. Same with adoption, most women (and men) can't/won't do it. That's obvious if you just look at how many newborns are adopted willingly vs how many are kept by the parent(s). You seem to have this idea that all these women are conspiring to have kids...they're not, that's an exception rather than a rule-and can easily be thwarted if you have half a brain and use protection. Most likely it's just carelessness on BOTH parties behalf. Oh well...don't be careless then and you won't have to worry about it. People shouldn't get license to run around doing whatever the fuck they feel like and have NO consequences, and stick the public with the bill. You play, you pay.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        I didn't read.
        I'm sure you've said this all before in the debates before and I countered the points you made, as I'm sure you made here, before.
        Been in this debate with you before, won this debate with you before, not continuing our debate like before.

        Bye.

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        • wigsplitz
          12 years ago

          No, actually you haven't countered those points. And I'd hardly say you 'won' anything, since the laws back me up. Until the law changes into what you are pushing for, you haven't won.

          BTW, I don't disagree that it's a slightly unfair situation sometimes. However, men have to decide to either have abortions legal and have no say in the matter, or make abortions illegal. There's no reasonable way to have it both ways.

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  • Dot123
    12 years ago

    This is so fucking sexist. Women always blaming men. Such a pity.

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    • nAt2017
      12 years ago

      What are you talking about? This post is about how much right a man has to make a decision concerning his wife's abortion. There's no blaming involved.

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    • dejaentendu!
      12 years ago

      I'm trying to see another point of view. 'Women always blaming men' is actually a sexist statement, as opposed to a post looking to make a system fairer.

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  • ConsuelasLemonPledge.
    12 years ago

    Jesus wouldn't approve! You are going to hell! Now before you send me a troll comment, I am an atheist and I am pro abortion, it's your choice.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Well i've had a shit experience with this as i've mentioned on here before. I was with a girl on the pill, she stopped taking it and didn't tell me. She got pregnant and refused abortion when i brought it up. I was tricked and now im supposed to deal with it! That incident made me realise how little say we have and how it affects us. At one point i thought about killing her in her sleep, NO JOKE. It is bullshit how some women think it only really affects them.

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  • Wendell
    12 years ago

    I would say no to abortion, man or woman but whatev

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  • canada87
    12 years ago

    If anything it all about trust. Regardless how you put it, just don't fuck up.

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  • sac66064
    12 years ago

    Ultimately, men know that the decision rests with the woman. If I were not ready to have a child I would strongly recommend abortion but I know that at the end of the day it really isn't up to me.

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