Mate is cheating but relationship is ok....now what??

16 Comments

If you know for a fact that your mate is cheating, but your relationship at home with them is ok what would you do?

In fact you and your mate have a great relationship, you laugh and talk, go out, go for walks and have great occasional sex. Its just one thing, you know that they are cheating. There are no real obvious signs though, but you know they are cheating for a fact...would you breakup?

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Comments ( 16 )
  • Britton
    12 years ago

    It's not a healthy relationship dear...its being built upon dishonesty and a lack of loyalty....I can understand loving somebody and being all in and not having the same in return. Best advice is to part ways :(

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  • P05tm0deRn
    12 years ago

    can't get why fidelity is made so important. I feel good with certain person now and here so what's the mutter what this person dose being out of my sight ? (to the degree, i don't mean here serial killers or sexual maniacs etc). Make yourself busy with something exciting, be OK with urself, be happy...all this 'cheating' thing is so artificial

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  • bananaface
    12 years ago

    Hmmm, although the relationship sounds ok on the surface, there's obviously issues if one of the people feels a need to cheat on the other.

    I think if it was an open relationship, and it was what both people 100% wanted then it would be good, but anything else is unhealthy. Unless there's something I'm missing?

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  • Energy
    12 years ago

    I'd make them choose.

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  • House
    12 years ago

    i would confront him and ask him to choose!make up you mind!

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  • Bake34
    8 years ago

    If you don't want to leave why don't you have an open conversation about it? I mean why else would ask strangers if they would leave, obviously you don't want to and you're looking for validation on that decision. I'm sorry if I'm wrong btw. Not trying to offend. Does it bother you? Do you want this person to be solely loyal to you? What is right for you may not be right for everybody else. It's your relationship and no body else's. Only you can decide if this something you are willing to tolerate. Some people aren't as sexual as other people. Maybe that's all that's lacking. First you need to decide what is best for YOU. Not your relationship, not for the other person, but you.

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  • FussyCarrot
    12 years ago

    if hes cheating its NOT healthy. its a facade, and a good one at that. open ur eyes. Call him on it immediately and go from there. see if ur relationship is still peaches after the confrontation..
    but if i were in ur shoes i would not be able to help but wonder if I were the one tht kept that smile on his face, making him REALLY laugh, making him happy, contributing to the "health" of the relationship...

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    If he's cheating, how could the relationship be okay? I don't undertand. Cheating is betrayal so the relationship couldn't really be okay. Solution is to leave eachother or live the rest of your days together with the possibility of it happening again or at least constantly expecting it to. Who the hell would want to live their life in doubt when there's an alternative?

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    • FussyCarrot
      12 years ago

      exactly..i never understood why people justify cheating. its exaclty what is it: a betrayal

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  • cackyhanded90
    12 years ago

    I'd make him choose.

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    • DiscoDuck
      12 years ago

      Why do you assume its a him?

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      • cackyhanded90
        12 years ago

        I was just giving my opinion, but really if it was me in the situation. My bad?

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  • taciturn
    12 years ago

    Where's the "discuss it with them first" option? I swear, marriage counselors must get tired of using the word "communication". It helps (or even downright fixes) 90% of relationship problems.

    Relationships involve two people. Where there is no bridge between those people, there is no relationship.

    Talk, then decide with them whether the relationship should continue.

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      I believe commnication helps a lot. Really I agree with that part. However, if a guy cheated on me(and I'm not using a guy to imply some sexist accusation..just an example from me) why would I have to spend my time and energy to talk about it if he clearly only thought about himself. Yes, a relationship takes two people, but if he decided to get selfish, why should I give him a second chance to redeem himself. If he didn't want to talk to me about any of our problems before he cheated then why would I have to talk to him about it afterwards? Seriously life is too short to hang on to someone like that. If the trust and loyalty in a relationship is broken, then it shouldn't continue to stay as a relationship. That's my opinion.

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      • taciturn
        12 years ago

        I never said you have to forgive anyone. I'm arguing for the right to a fair trial.

        I think it's very unhealthy to think in black and white terms. Have you never made a terrible decision before? Humans think asymmetrically by nature, meaning that since we only understand our own thought process, we have a lot of trouble empathizing with anyone else's. So to make a permanent judgment on someone based on a single action? That, to me, is selfish.

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  • noatomsk
    12 years ago

    I'd talk to them about it and most likely leave.

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