Married woman attracted to another married man - is it normal?

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. And we are happy. I love him and he loves me, and we treat each other with respect and devotion.

We are friends with another married couple who we see and hang out with regularly.

My problem is the husband from the other couple totally turns me on and I find myself thinking and fantasising about him more and more.

He is creative, pasionate and adventurous. Things I miss with my husband and so I am finding him more and more irresistable.

I would never act on my feelings as I have respect for faithfulness, but are my feelings for this other man not already crossing some line and should I be honest with my husband about my feelings?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 80 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

    Perhaps you should consider finding other couples to be friends with.

    Sometimes sitting in front of a steak when you know you can't have it.... is not the best idea. Sometimes you need to get up and leave the table completely so you won't constantly temp yourself to take a bite.

    Imagine not seeing the other couple as much - see how much that disappoints you.... and if the feeling is *strong* then you know you're spending time with them for the wrong reasons.

    there is nothing wrong in removing yourself from temptation.

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  • ygrowup

    Yes this is normal, you are married not dead, but do not act on these feelings! It is nice to feel the rush and the newness of another, but leave it as fantasy to dreams! Good luck with your choices!

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  • POM

    Just have sex with your own man and meanwhile think of him having sex with you. If you have a good imagination, you will actually be able to feel him inside you as if it were real! And it's danger-free!

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  • ccjigsaw

    Feelings can come from anything, people fall for people for simple things like "Omg you can play the piano! *Melts" I'm betting you picked your husband for more reasons than just something lame like that. So which realtionship do you think would last longer? The fascination with Mr.Pianist? Or the bond with your man? Now replace Pianist with the adventerous. :) Love is built off so much more. This feeling you have could easily be a mixture of admiration and maybe even jelousy for what you don't have but want. I wouldn't tell your husband you have feelings for that man, cause if your devoted to your husband, than you probably don't. I would however tell him that your a tad jelouse of the other wife having such an adventurous and outgoing type, and suggest doing more exciting things. Hope I helped, good luck to you!

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  • AnalyticalAm

    Ah, I wouldn't have been born if my mom didn't have a thing for married men. Neither would my two older siblings. Only my younger sibling was born of a faithful marriage... Later they both cheated on each other.... They aren't together anymore...(First two siblings had the same father, my younger brother and I share a father)

    At the end of this story(the present), my mom(single) is bitter and drinks everyday(6pk). My dad is getting remarried. They have been apart 10 years now.

    Try to bring your current husband's passion back. Break from the routine. Surprise him with a hike, or something spontaneous. Bring the spark back, remember what made you fall for him.

    This thing with the other guy could turn into an obsession, then you think of the what-ifs. Then you become bitter with what you have with your husband and the things that are wrong, instead of the things that are right. I say you should put those feelings to the side. Think of the consequences.

    Good luck! Hope it works out for you. :)

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  • joybird

    Do NOT tell your husband what you are thinking!! He will never believe that you haven't acted on it and are trying to ease your conscience. I know of one marriage in a similar situation but the wife left the husband coz she decided if he fancied someone else, she would let him get on with it.

    Either stay away from this other guy or look for all his bad points. I'm sure his wife will be happy to point them out for you!!

    You are in the early days of marriage - don't ruin a good one!1

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  • zchristian

    Yeah its totaly impossible to be attracted to others when your married >_>

    /End of sarcasm

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