Married and feeling alone

I got married a year ago. After 6 months we moved in with family while we saved money to buy a house. Our honeymoon was wonderful. But after that, things seemed to go downhill. Now I am lucky if we have sex more than 3 times a month. Either he is tired or sick or has a headache, or he's just so stressed out by his job. Or he blames it on the somewhat close proximity of family. We barely talk, mostly we fight. Am I asking too much. I feel like I made a huge mistake, but everytime I tell him how unhappy I am, he just says that things will be better when we buy a house and move out. He had to talk me into marrying him b/c I didn't want to get married at all, and now he is acting like I disgust him. And he is lying to me about having quit smoking. I just don't know what to do, and I don't really have anyone that I can talk to.

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 65 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • UncleBen

    Convert him back to yo' pinkhole with some rice Miss, I's gots a whole var-ah-ety to be choosed from.

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    • Xerxes

      lol

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  • NotEverEnuf

    I have a similar prob but we don't live with family & we've been married for well over 10yrs. Well it's not normal but that doesn't mean you need to get divorce as been suggested. Your married & it's worth trying & working on. Good Luck!

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  • NickNick

    i think you arent getting the point of what marriage really is. you are married and he doesnt talk WTF!!!! sorry but if i were you i'd be divorcing now

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  • AKdaydreamer

    Well.
    That sucks.
    Maybe you shouldn't have married him in the first place?

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  • Amazing728

    A happy and successful marriage is all about communication. If he you can't talk to each other, that is a huge problem. The fact that he is lying about something as simple as having quit smoking also shows that he can and will readily lie to you about other things, like sleeping with someone else and saying I'm just so tired from work and stress which is why WE can't have sex.

    I recommend getting some marriage counseling, from a local minister or marriage counselor. If either of you work and your job has an Employee assistance program, you can usually see one for free through them. In the counseling session you can both determine whether this marriage is worth saving or whether its best you both move on.

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  • voivevoiceofallthepeople

    what you really going through is bad!...i dont know why man changed.all of the sudden..if he was the one who forced you to get married to him though you were not yet ready why is he playing hard to get now when he has everything he wanted. but you're to be blamed somehow why did you got married in the first place if you knew you are not into it? the fact that you are living with your in-laws thats a huge burden i can only imagine...but if you know that you want to save your marriage try out a marriage counsellor and if things dont work out for the better the ball is in your court. in the end what will it help being in a miserable marriage were you will lose your dignity and all that..

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  • fathulk91219

    is it normal? yes

    my advice talk to him when you both have time
    he's probably stressed because of family that's why hes smoking
    if you want to sex propose that they go out and rent a cheap room somewhere

    but in my experience if he talked you into marrying him then you should think about the marriage you have and if you still want it

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  • inamood

    I am in the same place you are...with one large difference-we are expecting. One day after our one month anniversary I took the test. No one on here seems to have any advice worth listening to, so go ahead and ignore them-especially the ignorant Jemima and UncleBen...don't know what their deal is. We are with my parents because my school just decided that they couldn't afford me-as if being paid so little wasn't already hard enough.

    We don't talk. He comes home, he wants dinner (@12am/1am) when I'm already tired, wants his clothes cleaned, wants me to rub his shoulder-and then asks if we're doing anything on his day off or if he can go hang with friends, like I wouldn't like time with him-suddenly sleeping next to me is enough quality time.

    He never cares to hear what is wrong, but IF any 'feelings' are expressed they are only returned with 'Oh whatever' or he leaves the room. What really pisses me off is that in spite of all of it, I still love him.

    I am trapped being on bedrest, can't go to bars and hangout, can't be in the outside world, and his coworkers are the ones he talks to all day so at the end of the day he is done 'talking' and just zones watching tv while on the computer-damn itunes...

    Thanks guys for the great advice...FYI: "just move out" and "huge mistake" is not advice nor is it helpful. We can't help the situation we're in, unfortunately my private school no longer has the enrollment it needs to keep me employed so I got the cut-and with a baby on the way...'just move out' isn't really a reality now is it.

    I think jimmy45333 was right, this is just something that needed expressing since no one can really tell you what to do. Divorce doesn't seem like the answer though, it seems like an easy way out-unless you truly want nothing to do with him.

    Good luck, we don't have easy decisions to make!

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    • Actually you are the one who is pregnant so your situation is quite different than the posters - though you do share having lumps for husbands.

      The advice for her that some gave included leaving. A viable option, for her (the poster), but not you because of your financial need and maternity.

      I also suggested counseling for her (the poster) things may change whether it is her partners behaviour, or her take on it. I would urge the same for you.

      Good luck!

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  • tinsleytemptress

    WOW this sounds like my cousin [won't typer her name but a Texan].
    Everything, right down to the fake-quitting of smoking.

    But whether it is or not, this is what I have to say.

    Tell him how unhappy you are, and when he reacts in his usual way, suggest counseling. Get a professionals view point on the subject.

    yes living with family is going to cause a strain.

    As for the sex. Well. Is it really all about that?

    I mean with your circumstances, I think you have more to worry about than getting laid more than three times a month. No offense, but I think you need to prioritize.

    But really, get some counseling. It's more common than you think, and not bad or a faux pas at all.

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  • Bad scene - too much change, stress and you're too isolated & unhappy - is there anywhere you can go to get away from it for a bit and think things through? Plus get counseling since you've no friends around, and also because this relationship may be going nowhere but south.

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  • jimmy45333

    I'm not sure what anyone on here can say really. Sounds like you just needed somewhere anonymous to unload.

    I always thought, why ruin a perfectly good relationship by getting married?

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  • Sorry you sound so unhappy wish i could help,Think you should just get out of the marriage its no good for you and will suffer long term consequences,I once lived with my exs parents and i thought i would kill myself because i hated her mother so now i am free not blissfully happy but better off and free to try to find happiness

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  • SnowBaby82

    The lying about the smoking may indicate he will lie more in the future. Sounds like you regret being married since you didn't really want to. Living with family especially if it's your in laws is hard for a lot of reasons. I believe it is a mistake to do unless you really have to. You'll have to talk to him about wht you want to happen and decide if you want to live that way. You could get a cheaper palce and try to gain back romance. Anything to save the marriage...unless you don't want to save it. Don't stay if you aren't happy and you feel you never were.

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  • albertawind

    Maybe you need to come over to my house. Once you have my 7" of hard dick in your mouth you will forget all about your jerkoff husband.

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  • Jemima

    Misseh, I's tells yah: make yo' man a big stack ov' dem pancakes and den tell yo mama to stop doin' yo' man!

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  • that would suck to live with your wives family

    divorce him

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    • yeah, living with your wife's family can you think of a bigger boner killer than that? maybe your wife wearing a rosie O'donnel mask when your in the sack.

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  • IkeBroflovski

    What he said...

    Move the fuck out whilst you still have a marriage to salvage. There are times when outside influence is required in a relationship. A marriage less than a year old isn't one of them.

    You're supposed to start building a life together - not listen to parents and siblings bitch, moan and irritate you.

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  • you should not have moved in with family when you are newly wed. huge mistake.

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    • stillcurious

      I so agree

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