Marriage hesitancy

You must know that it's a fairly common situation; guys who refuse to commit are a cliché.

If you don't feel able to discuss your feelings about this with her, then I wonder about the depth of your emotional connection and how honest you're being with her - and yourself - about why you're still in the relationship.

I also wonder why you feel that being in a committed relationship and having a career are mutually exclusive.

Just tell her, stop holding back your thoughts.

I know you're nervous about marriage, who isn't; but that's not the real issue here. What you need to work on more than anything is the communication; if you start being more open and honest while speaking to her even if she disagrees, you'll feel a lot better.

Believe me, my boyfriend did the same thing. He was pulling away, avoiding topics and all that typical bullshit (it wasn't over marriage though); and when I ask if he's okay, he'll give me a quick, "Yeah." Obvious lie, and it annoyed me more that he was lying to himself at the same time lying to me. How did I solve it? I aggressively asked him, "Why are you so scared of me?" Of course that caught him off guard and the first words out his mouth were, "What? I'm not scared of you," and I replied, "Then talk to me about what's bothering you. Unfiltered. Just talk. I'm not going to lose my shit, I'm not going to break up. Get it out and we can work through it." After that our relationship got a MILLION times better, holy shit. Mind you he doesn't give me a novel about how he's feeling, but instead the moment something doesn't seem right, he'll just say it and that's enough.

So for real, just talk to her. If she's the woman for you, she'll listen and understand. If not, well she's not the only woman is the world.

Maybe you two aren't right for each other. It's perfectly valid for her to want to aspire to settling down with a family, and it's perfectly valid for you to be freaked out by that and want to be with a career focused person.

You should probably talk to her about this. Try and be constructive and non accusatory, but make sure that you are honest. If you two think you're on the same path but you really aren't then it's better to figure that out sooner rather than later. That's how people end up in unhappy marriages with kids they secretly didn't want wondering what the fuck happened. Don't be that person.

Tell her she needs to slow her roll.

Stop being scared, stop having FOMO, and for the love of god stop letting banks and governments decide if and when you will have a family. Marriage is survival. You found a girl you can stand - that's half the battle. The other half is a woman who's been of childbearing age since 2011, breaking the fourth wall and summoning the courage to ask you what you should have asked her years ago. The hour is late, get on with it.

Oh man I remember those days. I think most guys dont really care about marriage like that. I got tired of hearing my gf talk about marriage. Eventually I just decided it was time because we had live together forever and in every way we were already basically married.