Mancub or asshole?

I have been in a long-distance relationship for almost two years. I am visiting my boyfriend this week at his place. Last night, he came home late for our dinner date. He was late because he had "lost track of time" while practicing the piano with a friend. I understood. Then he indicated that he had been taking myspace photos with the same female friend for her myspace page for the first hour of "piano" practice. I was hurt. He had been gone the entire day, almost 11 hours, and had told me to be ready by 9 PM for dinner. He came in at 9:25 and initially indicated that he was only ten minutes late. I conveyed why it was difficult to hear that he had been taking pics rather than practicing, which lead to his tardiness. I said that it would have been easier to hear that he was simply practicing. He said that they took over 100 pics for an hour. He said that it was messed up for me to have a problem with this because, ulitmately, he was late due to losing track of time. I had cleaned his entire apartment while he was gone. I put on a special outfit and looked forward to our time together. I really don't think I'm being unreasonable. He then told me I could leave earlier then planned for my home. I feel like I'm not allowed to have strong feelings. He prides himself on not having cried since 1997. I think it overwhelms him when I need him to evoke empathy when I'm upset. I hate him for telling me to leave. I don't think it's warranted... Suggestions? I ended up staying (on the couch, as usual) and he left for work this AM without saying goodbye or leaving a note. We literally only "fight" about once every six months when I'm upset and he becomes dismissive and cold. It's a lose, lose situation when this occurs. Help!

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Based on 65 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Is this the guy you want to make a life partner? If so, think twice & pinch yourself. If not, then he is just a jerk sometimes & if he gets more insensitive you cam leave without losing much. Just don't put much stock in him, I guess.

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  • CeeMoney

    You only fight once a month? I think the first thing you should do is be honest. Nobody only fights once a month with their boyfriend/girlfriend lol But yeah, leave that dude. This comin from a guy. I wouldn't treat you like that if I cared about you.

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  • writer4130

    are you serious? He's obviously cheating on you and got lazy about it, figured he wouldn't break things off cuz he'd rather keep you around for sex, and is just waiting for you to break up with him, guys don't show up late for dinner then openly admit they spent the last hour taking 100+ pictures with some chick and tell her to go home early unless they're cheating and are just sick of their girlfriend, keeping her around for sex, stop hoping he'll change and all that crap, don't give in to the emotional roller coaster ride of drama that I hear chicks get addicted to or whatever, if he's that much of an asshole then find someone else

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  • sparrowfeed

    honestly, i think this might just be a guy thing. CONTRARY to what everyone here thinks, relationships are not perfect. men are usually quite emotionally repressed, and so they can get 'moody', just like girls can get moody!

    if you only fight every 6 months, that's really good! he probably needs to know how you feel. when my BF screws up, i tell him how i feel. it was hard for me in the beginning because i am by nature a warm, kind person, but i started doing it and he apologizes later on.

    people can talk a lot of shlt about 'leave him' and etc.. but you've been with this guy long enough so you know he must have good qualities. ya.. he should have been thankful for cleaning his apartment (and making him dinner!) but life is life.. and it isn't perfect.

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  • it's_all_too_much

    I think he's an asshole.

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  • GJP

    Run!! Don't look back- he is an emotional loser!

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  • tl;dr

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  • sherry

    Dump him ASAP.

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  • awww :(

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  • mtnw

    long distance relationships are hard when everyone involved wants to be involved. doesn't sound like this is a good thing for you.

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  • wang35

    It all sounds pretty gay. Ummm, If I were a chick and my man was with some chick taking pics other than for work; i would probably leave. Was he sorry for being late? how much do you care about it? Ask yourself these questions and what value you place on them. Things are diffent when you living with someone or married=more intense.

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  • Jen118584

    If he doesn't care that you're hurt, doesn't care that you might leave early, and just walked out of the house without saying anything....then he doesn't care, period. I'd be asking what's really going on with piano/myspace chick. I would probably be pissed if I came a long distance to visit my boyfriend and he spent so much time hanging out with some other girl. Why would he make a point to tell you he took over 100 pictures? That seems weird, juvenile, and stupid. I don't know....do you really trust this guy? Why would he try to make you jealous and then get pissed off when you got jealous???

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