Male nipple powers

28 Comments

As we all know the nipples are a useless feature of the male anatomy. If you could select a use for them which would you pick?

breastfeeding capabilities 10
play music when aroused 16
emit sedative gas 23
revolving nipples (cool party trick) 1
distress beacons (flash when in danger) 14
headlights 17
other (comment) 6
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 28 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Oooh, a sedative gas would be excellent!

    It would be nice if the gas came out silently, otherwise it might sound a little repulsive if a man had farting nipples.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • Avant-Garde
      11 years ago

      I read that as "seductive gas".

      How can gas be seductive especially if its coming out of the nipples?

      I can agree with you on the sound part. Imagine being on a airplane and the flight attendant angrily comes up to you and tells you to keep your nipple gas under control.

      "Sir, would you please put some clamps on your nipples. The other passengers are starting to complain and my eyes are red and watery now!!!"

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      5
      5
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Ha, seductive gas! :D

        If the stories on IIN are any indication of the imaginative purposes males can think up for their semen, then we'd be in for a bundle of trouble if they had any nipple powers.

        And can you imagine how noisy the world would be if men's nipples played music upon arousal, especially in high schools. It would be obnoxious.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        4
        4
    • iin2want2know
      11 years ago

      Farting nipples =-O

      LMFAO :-D

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • kingsleycrowne
      11 years ago

      haha yeah definitely would need to be silent release. I considered putting laughing gas as one of the options too. haha so if your jokes sucked, you could still get people to laugh lol

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Yes, that would be amusing, wouldn't it. But isn't nitrous oxide addictive? That could be a problem... Or population control.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
    • WasThatAMoth
      11 years ago

      I lol'ed so hard to your comment...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Good, so did I. In fact, most of the comments on this poll had me laughing; it's a wonderful poll (thanks kingsleycrowne). :D

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • kingsleycrowne
          11 years ago

          aw thanks! you're welcome :)

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • Goomats
    11 years ago

    I think they have a use...especially if they belong to a man who gets aroused by a woman playing with them.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I was in a shit mood until I read this. It raised a chuckle, thanks OP.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Headlights, that way no matter what I won't stumble around in the dark. I'd be like an angular fish except instead of a glowing antenna I'd have glowing nipples.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    They are anything but useless.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • kingsleycrowne
      11 years ago

      hahaha what do you use yours for?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
        -
      • anti-hero
        11 years ago

        Turning on the ladies.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • kingsleycrowne
          11 years ago

          fair call.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    The prospect of becoming Nipple Man is even better!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • BlueAlice
    10 years ago

    What about detachable ones that could be given to a partner to suck on any time they need?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    They are for biting when the bastard gets outta hand

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • NotStrangeBird
      11 years ago

      I'd bite your breasts, but not without cranberry sauce and gravy.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • OswaldCobblepot
    11 years ago

    I'll just leave this here… http://youtu.be/LhsmOr0hdQI

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    I always found them to be dangerously close to my mouth. I'm kind of glad they don't shoot things at me, that would ruin my fun.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    Ha! This reminds me of a post from my early days of IIN which was about shooting bullets from your nipples.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • imagirldealwithit123
      11 years ago

      Lol xD

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Qwerty-qwerty
    11 years ago

    Imagine if someone's could do all of the above! <3

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Screwdrivers

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • iin2want2know
      11 years ago

      If I had a $1 every time I wished my nipples were screwdrivers.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • Avant-Garde
      11 years ago

      They'd have to be rock hard if you're driving in screws.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0