Male friend acts like boyfriend but doesn't want a relationship

9 Comments

My male friend acts like a boyfriend but doesn't want a relationship and won't let me break up the friendship?

Basically I like him and he acts like he likes me but he has mental health issues and that's why he says he has to stay single until he sorts his life out so he's said we can't date.

I can't remain friends with him because of the feelings I have and how every time we spend more time together,the more strongly I feel. But when I told him we have to stop being friends, he lost it and told me I'm perfect and that there's no one like me out there and that he can't live without me. And every time I mention another man in even the most casual way, he seems upset. Even when we were at a cocktail party and a guy was flirting with me, he actually told the guy I was taken when I wasn't and then made a joke about it.

He treats me like a girlfriend and that makes it so much worse. He uses cutesy nicknames, he texts me good morning and good night, texts me throughout the day, tells me I'm beautiful, showers me with compliments and maps out a future as if we're a couple like where we will travel to and it's far too confusing when he only wants to stay as friends.

He's so kind but I don't know how to leave the friendship or what I'm supposed to do. Any one ever experience this?

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Comments ( 9 )
  • Tealights
    4 years ago

    He's stringing you along until he's ready to commit, until then he's going to sample you as much as you allow him and keep you tied down.

    You have more power than you realize, you simply like him too much to leave. It's your choice to make now, because he already made himself clear that he's not ready to commit, but selfishly doesn't want you to move forward. You can either allow this confusion to go on until he's ready to commit to you, which could take months or even years if you let it, or you can just be firm in your decision to break off the "friendship", because you want more and can't be the friend he needs at the moment.

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    He sounds a little unstable. I don't think its fair either, you can't date any other guys because your 'with' him but yet he isn't giving you much of what you want out of a relationship. I would talk to him about how you feel trapped and then either get serious with him, or push him back to the friend zone and get with someone else.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    You literally just answered your own question.

    He has mental health issues and doesn't want to hurt you or cause problems for you.

    It's also possible someone gave him some bad advice, or he misinterpreted it, he may be just trying to see if he wants to commit to the relationship, so that if there are problems then it won't be so hard to break up.

    He might also be worried about losing a friend.

    Might be easier for you to change your outlook, try to view it as you are together, if you do EVERYTHING that a couple would do, why is it any different?

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  • dimwitted
    4 years ago

    Guys don't say no to BJs.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Unless its from another guy.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    If I were you I would distance myself from this guy. He's jealous, and controlling, yet he's unavailable. As far as I'm concerned this dude is a whole lot of nope. You really don't need this pain in the ass! He's just wasting your time, and getting in the way.

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  • GaelicPotato
    4 years ago

    No.

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  • CDmale4fem
    4 years ago

    Yea, if he's not going to try and get romantic and you would welcome it, then tell him again. If he still has the excuse, then you try and work some female moves in the mix and see what happens. If he still tells you the excuses then I would just tell him you cannot do it. You enjoy being withholding much. If he cannot put up.it shut up. If he tells someone you are "taken" then you should remind him you are not taken. If he wants to change that then he should do it or make up his mind. If he still refuses, then start telling him about the guy you had lunch with, or the guy that flirted with you in the coffee shop. Don't forget about the friend of a co-worker that's trying to set you up. If course these are just made up guys. But it will let him know there are guys that happen to find you attractive, interesting, and would like to take you to dinner and then bring you breakfast. He cannot expect you to keepwaiting. By telling him what I suggested, it will let him know You cannot wait years for him. You want to get on with a life and make a life that will follow your dreams.

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  • bigbudchonga
    4 years ago

    Does he put the moves on you? If there's a sexual aspect to it to then I would basically consider yourself in a relationship; if not, then I would try and put the moves on him. By the way he's acting he may well let you go in for a kiss, and of course, eventually, something more.

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