Lying about not being a virgin

Okay, so i have a rather strange confession to say. Im a virgin..well in the ways that count i am.

I was sexually abused and raped from ages 5 to 14 by an older cousin. Im 22 years old now.

As im sure you can imagine its left me pretty scarred and afraid. Im terribly shy and prefer to keep to myself. Anyway im 22 years old and ive never been kissed, never held hands with someone never cuddles never had a bf or gf and never had sex.

Tech im not a virgin physically but i dont count my abuse as my first experience so for me emotionally and mentally i consider myself a virgin? Sorry if i dont make sense.

Anyway, when people ask me i get nervous cuz i dont want to lie n'say im a virgin when i know im tech not but that embarrasses me because everyone around me has a sexual history n it would be weird for someone my age not to n it would make ppl wonder whats wrong with me. So i tell a half truth.

I tell ppl im ot a virgin. But where the liea come in is that i have to make up stories as to how i lost it cuz the truth of my abuse and the embarrassment of my lack of meaningful'sexual history make me feel ashamed.

I lie n say i lost it at 14 to some guy, and i make up thes exciting stories of other sexual encounters ive had. Basically trying to make my sex life sound more interesting and wxciting. Anything to keep from the sad depressing truth.

Its really hard for me n i feel bad for lying but i cant bare the thoight of people feeling aorry for me pitying me or lookin at me like im broken or theirs something wrong with me.

Is this normal? Does anyone else do this??