Loving kids more than a partner

This happens in my family. It's as if the women in my family see their husbands purely as a means of making babies. After that, they are good for nothing but contempt and ridicule. Oh, and a source of income. The children have love and attention lavished on them until they show signs of autonomy. Then they are "evil little shits" and have "ruined" their mother's life.

In case it wasn't clear, that mentality makes me thoroughly sick.

I hate that certain women in my family think I'm stupid for expecting an equal and loving partnership with a man.

I don't think the love for a partner and the love for children is comparable. They both have different aspects. I want to love my children completely. I want to be consumed by how much I love them. I don't want that to change how I love their father. I want it to enrich and complement the love I have for him.

If he or they ever exist, that is...

I think it (loving child more than partner) happens, but I don't think it is ideal.

I feel it's pretty normal. However, I think it's really sad, and I ALWAYS feel badly for the husband/boyfriend who isn't getting the attention he needs because the crotchfruit gets it all.

In a way I guess it is natural but it's two very different kinds of love that have a hard time competing with one another.

It's like comparing a bedroom to a den and asking which one is better. Both have their own value and would be sorely missed.

i think it's normal, but kind of sad...I'm female and would probably love my kids more than partner but that doesn't mean i wouldn't still love him, just that kids take precidence, in the end your partner is like a great friend but your children should be like your greatest achievement

The intensity of love could be the same, but the nature of it varies. As in, the love for kids involves a high degree of protection and maternal or paternal love etc, whereas love for a partner is more to do with a partnership and close bond between you and all that that involves. Hope that makes sense.

I don't like talking about love in terms of biology, but I will here.

If we take love purely as an evolutionarily developed phenomenon (phenomenal it most certainly is, don't get me wrong), then it makes sense to love your kids more than your partner. You fall in love with your partner in order to have kids; the kids are the end product of the love for your partner. Because humans only usually have 2 or 3 kids in their lifetime it makes sense that your priorities switch to the kids you have and not your partner, who only represents your chance to get more kids (maybe more than you can look after). You don't stop loving your partner, but the love you have most of is directed at the kids.