Loves to hate
I hate how my life turned out to be. I barely have any good relationship with anyone as I'm awkward(but trying not to be) around people. I always think, why try when that's all you are an awkward person.
I try everyday to be happy but always end up either angry at myself or the world. I think I do try too hard, I've been called that more than once in my life.
Day by day, I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that there isn't such a thing as happiness. Yes there are temporary states of elation, you can laugh but I'm always ending up back to feeling miserable about myself and those around me. It really feels like anger and hate are taking over my life affecting those around me, always pushing people away from me. I'm slowly hating everyone, or find a reason to hate them. I even hated the school councilor in the University I go to because he had a bad comb over. He talked to me about confidence but I couldn't stand his hypocrisy.
There are those who I don't hate but eventually I will end up hating. There are those who I hate for no reason and I get back home and feel miserable because I'm really not sure why I hate them. I don't want to hate but I'm not sure how.
It sure does sound like an angry teenager typing.
Whatever. Fuck it all.