Love/hate relationship with self

Normal. You could also have borderline personality disorde, but that's fine. it's not severe. It could just be your hormones acting up, especially if you're a teen.

PSA - EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE: BE CAREFUL OF "BUDTHEWISE" - HE IS A FIRST CLASS CREEP, WOMAN ABUSER, RACIST AND IGNORAMUS ... AND PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OF HIS CRAPPY AND ABUSIVE ADVICE. PLEASE!!!

You're very welcome. I hope something I or the rest of us offered was helpful, if only for the moment. And by all means, keep posting. Sharing these things, at the very least, is keeps you on the grid and active in this real world we're all trying to negotiate. Till next time:)

//T

Agreed. Bi polar. Very very common. Check with your doctor

My explanation for that is, you hate those characteristics that you have because it makes you feel like you're full of flaws, but you also love it because thats who you really are and thats what made you unique, and even though you don't think that those qualities are good, others learned to accept you and everything about who you are. Maybe thats the reason why you feel that way.

I think you are OK. Deep. Contemplative. Resourceful. But don't rag on yourself for being so. The world needs your type of people. Do not dis yourself. Find something you can do to make a difference.

Then, and only then, will you find a life well lived. In other words: do not short change yourself. That would make you unhappy. And would be a loss for the world outside you. IMO

Almost. I think I just dislike myself compared to other people, and I usually only ever like myself, very rarely love myself and I hate the way I am, think feel; where I've been.

Interesting. As far as normal goes, I would say this is fairly common. Life and our individual lives is something that is constantly in flux; as a result, some people tend to follow this pattern as well. Everyone has horrific days and awesome ones, sometimes closer together, sometimes for streaks @ a time, sometimes with large dry spells in between. And once upon a time, while I was in college some 8 years ago, I felt very similar to the way you do now. It happens. You are 'normal' as far as that goes.

In your case, however, I wonder how bad you feel when you are on the 'downswing' of this cycle? For example, do you just want to stay in bed (or inside, otherwise by yourself), do nothing, sleep all day or some shit with FTW essentially stamped on the forehead, or perhaps even worse than that? Do you essentially 'check-out' of your life? Or, less seriously, do you just get sick of the craziness fairly regularly and go hibernate until you start to feel better?

I'm not a doctor or a medical professional AT ALL, so this is purely speculative opinion. I've known quite a few of people with similar stories, and no one answer could be ascribed to all of you. This SOUNDS like Manic Depression/Bipolar Disorder, but this is something that is commonly misdiagnosed, mostly because certain folks like to jump the gun and/or think they're weekend-warrior armchair psychologists and like to spit diagnoses in any direction that suits them. I am not that guy, I'm just throwing out my two cents.

Bottom line is that I don't know what you're deal is, boss, but It sounds like you need to figure it out and get thru it. I'm dropping an article about 'myths' of this nature, and hopefully with this you can start to distinguish for yourself what's going on and what to do about it.

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/features/8-myths-about-bipolar-disorder

And to that point, beware 'self-diagnosing;' it's as unreliable and needlessly alarmists as anyone else on here telling you how you feel (and mind you, as far as the DSM-IV is concerned, EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the planet qualifies for a handful of disorders and diagnoses - so take whatever you discover simply into consideration, and try not make a declaration based on anyone factoid or list of symptoms -- just use it to plan your next step to figure out more).

My hopes is to point you in a direction so that you may see if it's the right one or a wrong one -- and once you figure which, you can feel a little better since either way is progress in a positive direction.

Good luck, chief.

//T

Yup, I am the same way...

Absolutely. Half the time I hate that I am a hothead, and the other half I think it's awesome that I don't take shit from people. Sometimes I love that I'm picky about who I hang out with and wouldn't have it any other way, and other times I wish I could just be more accepting of people of people's faults. Most of the time I love being a redhead, but then sometimes I wish I had long, shiny dark brown hair! Usually these cycles coincide with my hormonal ups and downs....Everyone has insecurities at times, that's just human nature.