Losing a friendship of 30 yrs

I think in this situation, given the bizarre circumstances, it might be appropriate for you to contact him ONCE (only once) and ask for some type of explanation. I think this might be necessary to achieve some semblance of closure. Leg him know that you will respect his decision not to contact him after that.

As far as dealing with the situation, it really depends on the reason. However, you might want to seek some grief counseling. Loosing a very close friend can be akin to experiencing a death- it is a huge loss.

I'm getting some major red flags from that therapist. The circumstances are very bizarre. From what I have read, it strikes me that his "therapist" believes that you are creating whatever problems he has in his life. Some therapists blame the people in their clients lives as the cause of their problems, which isn't always true. I get the impression that the friendship wasn't a toxic one. You deserve an explanation, but it may not be a good idea because, the doctor could make a suggestion in response and he may go with it. It is probably safer to wait for the time to pass and see if he ever attempts to explain himself.

I can't help but to suspect there's more to this story than you're letting on here.

Maybe he's a codependent who's incapable of being upfront and honest about his feelings.

Ask yourself what your part in all of this is. Do you unload a lot of emotional baggage on him and expect him to solve your personal problems? Do you listen and allow him to share? In my humble opinion it sounds like your friend is feeling emotionally drained and possibly used, neglected or even abandoned in some way that has now become unbearable.

I can understand this would be very confusing. What kind of therapist would say something like that and what kind of friend would just mindlessly follow what their therapist says? I think therapists often do more harm than good.

The worst part is he didn't say why. Not only is that confusing, it is rude and disrespectful to not tell somebody why, because it leaves them hanging and wondering what went wrong, with no explaination. I recommend writing him back anyways and telling him what you think and that you deserve and explaination for this. It is very unfair for him not to explain.

This is a grief situation. Maybe talk to a counselor, do some reading. After 3 months have past, write him one letter for closure. Don't expect a reply.

This isn't easy, but you will get thru it.

I think that you should contact his therapist and ask why he/she thinks that it's better to end this friendship. Do you do crazy things together, are you a bad influence? You have not given enough information in your post.

Maybe you're better off without him in your life.
What the hell kind of person writes a letter like that but gives no explanation as to why? That's terribly hurtful and inconsiderate especially after such a long friendship.

There is a book called Getting Past What You Can't Get Over by John F. Westfall that might be helpful. It looked good so I wrote it down but haven't bought or read it for myself.

My suggestion is to relax and stay cool. From what you've posted, I'll bet your friendship outlasts this therapist. Just be patient and it will pass.