Looking for anothers thought on my situation

52% Normal
8 Comments

Hello, I am currently away at college, my spouse and children are back where we live. I've been here for 3 months and feel completely alienated from the rest of my classmates. Our class size is small...very small, and I am the oldest in the class, everyone else is 10-15 years younger than myself. I am an outgoing and friendly but for some reason, I have know friends in class. I have tried to engage other s in conversation, and always listened to what they have to say and I'm always supportive and encouraging. Every time I make conversation, the other person does not engage, in fact, they blaintently try to ingnore me or walk away. I am never invited out to events that the others in the class are taking part in. I have tried to invite others out or to form a study group. I always participate in class but am never asked by others, I have to initiate it or it wouldn't happen. I have always been liked and respected by others I know and given the same in return. I do not have alot of friends where I live, but the ones I do have are so great, they are true life long friends. This whole situation is not tipicle for me, I'm not use to this kind of treatment by people, I am at the lowest point of my life right now, i have never been in such a dark place before. The worriesome thing is that the program I'm taking is very intense and it requires you to rely on others which is supprising that those around me are treating me so horribly. I have looked within myself to see what I'm doing wrong because I must be projecting or doing something the others dislike. Any thoughts???

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 27 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • canadianmaneh
    13 years ago

    Common decency toward another person has nothing to do with being cool. Regardless of whether someone is cool or not cool has nothing to do with respecting them as a human being. I have no desire to hand out with the "coolios" (whoever they are), all the cool people I know are respectful, courteous and friendly and they don't try to act better than other people. Maybe one day you'll be faced with situation I have found myself and will you will understand what I have gone through, I sincerely hope you never do because it is not pleasant; however in life, we are presentede with challenges, I have met this particular challenge and have percivered. The interesting thing is that where I live I am considered "cool" and people enjoy my company and want me around. If you travel far enough, you will meet all sorts of people who do not wish to socialize, it was my time to travel. Thank-you for your remarks, I appreciate all criticism(whether it be constructive or not), it helps me to see different points of view and what I have taken from your point of view is that there are those in life who are considerate and those that are not and I just need to accept it, not let it bother me and move on. It is there loss, not mine, they missed out on someone who could have be a great, loyal and supportive friend. Thanks again, take care.

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  • Mastersash
    13 years ago

    Good Luck!

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  • canadianmaneh
    13 years ago

    Thank-you to those who have left there comments/suggestions. It has been 5 months since I wrote my story asking for your input, it's hard to believe I'm into August now. I didn't think I would make it this far but I'm almost done as I will be leaving in October for home to complete my required placement hours. Not much had changed, I did however approach a girl in my class and expressed my desire to be included in class activities and that has helped. I really can't wait to leave this place and put it all behind me, if I take anything away from this it will be that it has made me stronger as a person. As humans, it is normal to be social and I believe being denied that is the worst thing one can go through. If it were not for the support of my wife and children I might have given in and just left. Once again, thanks for your interest and taking the time to leave your thoughts.

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  • funbob
    13 years ago

    You have this problem because you are not cool. Sorry but that's the truth, and you know it's the truth because the truth hurts. Finish up your studies and stop trying to hang with the coolios.

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  • Mastersash
    13 years ago

    U have a very strong accent, mate
    .

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  • jules_mae
    14 years ago

    I wouldn't worry about making friends. Just focus on the classes... Make friends your own age out of class... They're prolly all idiots anyway

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  • finniculi
    14 years ago

    As the last person said, I'm sure it's just an issue with age. Most of these kids probably aren't used to being on the same level as someone your age and don't feel right making a social connection with you. If you really are trying to connect then I don't see what the problem could be. The only advise I can give is that you don't be too pushy. If you barge into other people's conversations or try to force your way into a group (not that I'm saying you are) it can make things awkward for the other people. Things just have to come naturally. Just be nice, and try to stand out in a crowd as an interesting person. Show the others what you have to contribute to the group. I hope this helps and that things work out for you.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    what a lousy situation. no doubt it's the age thing that is bothering your classmates. even college age kids can be so immature.

    is there any chance that you can finish up this semester and then transfer to a different school, maybe one closer to home?

    my advise would be to continue to talk to your classmates about school stuff only, nothing social, and hopefully you can get through this class.

    good luck:)

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