Logical thought process in place of emotions?

For quite some time, I haven't felt much of anything. I've had a pretty sucky childhood, and I'm beginning to think it's affected me.
I don't feel anything beyond a vague attachment toward friends, boyfriends, or family. The closest thing I have to feeling is toward my sister, who I don't want to get hurt.

I do things not because I feel like it, but because my logical thoughts tell me that's what should happen. When deciding what to do with my life career wise, I don't care. I just took the suggestions of people around me.

I am severely uncomfortable around displays of emotion, and not just crying. If people start to show things like anger, love, sadness, I don't know what to do and I just start to fidget. I think maybe it's because I feel out of place because if everyone around me is upset by something, they'll see that I'm the only one unaffected.

When I dated my last boyfriend, I didn't do anything because I wanted to, but because I know that it's what always comes next. That's how I operate on a day to day basis.

I don't think I'm depressed. People can make me laugh, and I can pretend to have fun and sometimes, I think I fool myself. But when I look back, I just think that everything I did seemed so fake. I like to keep to myself, and I feel that if people can't discover that there's something missing in me then they don't sederve to know.

This has caused some problems, though, with a friend who says he wants to date me because I don't want to use him as some sort of experiment, which is what happens with me. I go into dates and meetings with the midset "can they draw some sort of emotion out of me so that it isn't so obvious to me that I'm faking it."

I've been told many times that my thought process is f**ked up, and that there is something wrong with me, and I don't know anymore. Because I do think that something is missing. Shouldn't I feel something for people that are close to me?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 52 votes (35 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • colie50

    A robot! That'sexactly it! Nice to know I'm not alone either :P

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  • sqwidword33

    growth will occure in anything you use, and you only can use what you have. i will save you a lot of time and say emotion logically doesn't make sense. this is why we have emotion. because it doesn't make sense logically, logical limitations are gone. there is no beauty logically, there's no friendship logically, without emotions, life is the world on a pinhead, everything lies on one point, and the only value is scrap value.

    your life is your puzzle, emotion is the picture, people are the pieces. use the picture to see where the pieces fit in the puzzle. when the pieces are together, the picture will be lovely. when the pieces are apart, and the picture is distorted, fucus more on building your puzzle.

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    • sega31098

      Emotions do make logical sense. It's all in evolution and natural selection.

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  • devoidreality

    Had to register to say, your story describes me very well. Except I'm a guy.

    I feel like I'm a robot that's learned how to act human. Sometimes well enough to fool even myself.

    But then I find myself always thinking in a logical way. How should I react to this? How should I feel about this? Emotions just don't come naturally, and I feel very uncomfortable about this. And because of this, I don't have a clue about who I am. I just feel like I'm playing the part.

    Glad to see I'm not alone, though I'm sure our "conditions" are exactly alike... I don't really want to dive too deep into it with a therapist in fear of them diagnosing me as a schizoid or something... but I really want to feel again. Gahh, I think this is getting too long, I'm just gonna post my own story.

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  • phoenixoftheashes

    you described me perfeectly.i have to play a character and lie too

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  • Riddler

    No I do not think its normal. I think its more helpful than most of society that will jump before they think. Challenge: Jump off this cliff tied to an anchor its really fun. Person A Logical:but I will sink Person B Emotional:Hell yeah! So while its not the normal mindset I think its more beneficial. I was like this for a long time too. Society is filled with irrational morons. Do you really want to be part of them? Your better than society.

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  • RomeoDeMontague

    I am like this and so people assumed I was a sociopath. I am sorry I cant cry at movies like the rest of society.

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  • Avant-Garde

    I can relate to some extent.

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  • jck20

    For one, don't do what other people tell you that they think you should do for your career choice.... Do what you truly want to do, what you love. If you don't know what that is, find out, chase it, and pursue it... To feel numb is completely normal, especially when you've had a difficult, abnormal past/childhood. My advice to you is to give feeling again a chance, chase it and give it some effort. Live as if you were dying, go sky diving, have some fun, start a new romance and live in the present. The more that you worry about/think/live I the past or the future, the less of you is living in the present. The more you live I the present, in the now, the more emotion you will feel and the numbness will slowly fade. Be resilient. It takes lots of pressure to make a diamond, be the diamond that your meant to be and shine bright. Accept reality, embrace it, and conquer it! Laugh hard, love freely, and forgive yourself for your mistakes!

    Best of luck to you,
    Sincerely, John C K

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  • Not everyone has to make public displays of emotion. If people have a problem with those who do not wear their heart on their sleeve, oh well. I find that not being overcome by emotion allows me to make wise decisions. There nothing wrong with being like the cat, who is calm, calculating, and solitary.

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  • FearFigment

    Your story is so similar to mine... you should try an online personality test: the myers-briggs kind. I have a strong hunch that you're also an INTJ.

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    • Short&2thepoint

      I know how you feel, except the sister, my brother only tried to stab me, and honestly I don't think tere's anything wrong with you whatsoever. Don't go out with anyone because you feel that you "should". That just sucks. No thought process is fu*ked up, just different.

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  • sparrowfeed

    that really sucks.
    when i smoked weed, i used to feel like this--a vapid, moving, empty self. a dissolved self.

    if this is a constant condition, however, not brought on by drugs, i advise you to speak to someone about it. if you have loving parents, talk to them! if not, see a professional. or speak to a friend.

    from what you're describing i think a lot of people feel like you--and most of them have had traumatic childhoods.

    i think the condition is treatable; maybe you just need to 'break out of your shell' so to speak :)

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  • devoidreality

    Yo Enlil, you say emotions are overrated, but I'm afraid that if I say "fuck it", I'll end up losing all of them and then I'll have nothing. So yeah, enhancing emotions? Please impart some wisdom. Don't know how to get in touch with you though.

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  • Enlil

    I feel the same way you do most times, but I think having emotions is overrated just look at all the problems they cause people. Although if you really want them there are some things I've learned to do to enhance emotions if you want to know just contact me or something.

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  • BOYracer88

    you have nothing to fear, you may just not be a very passionate person (no offence intended), in the sense that you do not feel overwhelming emotion (im the same around people who are crying)you may not feel so attached to people because there is no threat that they will leave you, you sound like you deserve someone or something that really makes you feel good, and if you do feel the route cause is your childhood then talk your family about it, good luck

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  • c21smith12

    u sound like a truly sensitive girl in a family system that was too hard on you. you aren't depressed, because you believe you have found peace in your emotionless state.
    it's hard to give a s**t about feelings when you look at them as meaningless perceptions, but just because your "logical thoughts" can be reasoned with and measured doesn't disqualify them from being as meaningless of perceptions, as someone could make the argument that man's logic is made up of contrived metaphors, for which there is no real meaning.
    try to recall your sensitive side. remember it isn't wrong to feel love n show love. :)

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  • colie50

    The only thing about talking to a professional is that I am going to school for teaching and I'm not so sure how that would go, if I went to a therapist for psychological problems. It doesn't sound the greatest. Thanks for the input, and good luck to you too ^^

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  • laila

    hmm ... I sometimes have the same feelings of detachment but in a milder form. It can be normal to an extent if you are just uninterested in your daily activities or the people you are in contact with. Maybe finding something you absolutely love doing will draw an emotional response. If you think the problem is much deeper, try talking to a professional who can help solve some of the problems your having.
    Good Luck!

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