Live music makes me want to commit suicide, iin?

Let me just make it clear, that I'm not talking about music with particularly sad, depressing, or angry lyrics. It can be pretty much any kind of music.
My boyfriend's family is a musical family, and every Sunday afternoon, they play in a full band together, and I got to hear them play. The music they played was so haunting. This feeling came over me, that I was sure that I would die of suicide someday, if not soon.
I've noticed a few things: I never feel this way if I performing in the group, I'm a part of it, but not performing in the group at the time (only sometimes) ,or if it's choral music/a capella (only sometimes). The more elaborate the music, the more stressful the music is for me to hear, meaning if there's a combination of different instruments, like drums, bass, violin, piano, lead guitar, all in one song. If the music is particularly beautiful, I might need to leave the room. Sitting very far from chamber music or otherwise a small ensemble is doable, but still difficult. The closer I am in distance and personal contact, the more I'll get anxious and nervous, feelings of terror.
I thought this was normal, but I'd never heard of anyone else that feels that way. That's why Hieronymous Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights strikes a powerful chord with me because the 3rd panel has people being tortured by instruments in Hell. But anywhere else, no one I've asked seems to understand my aversion (?not sure?) to listening/being in the presence of live music.