Liking a girl(?) need help please part 2 / update

So, I have talked to my girlfriend about me not really loving her any more (partially i think its because I couldnt see her when we dated 1 year ago and of course I know we are at comfortable stage but it wasnt because we were comfortable stage, to me, it felt like i was not loving her all of sudden because of lack of talking and lack of time together even though we did have time together she just decided to watch youtube and just chose not to spend time with me for a week) and we talked about it and we were about to break up but then I started to cry because I hated myself and I felt absolutely garbage. She started to say how shes gonna kill herself and she knows its not fair at all but she means it because of her situation where she really doesnt have much hope. And so we talked it out and she asked me if there was any chance for her (which wasnt zero because I did love her and I think I still do love her but also, its not much of an option for me because I am traumatized of my ex dying) and so we decided to start all over again and trying fix stuff because she realized how she was damaging us (I am not sure how). the new girl on the other hand, there hasn't been much going on recently, she gifted me really thoughtful presents for christmas and I was very very happy about the gift. just thought I would give you guys an update of what is going on and what happened. feel free to leave some opinion here, you can talk shit about me since I am kind of the asshole here but please dont talk shit about the new girl as she did not do anything.