Life went to hell

15 Comments

I dont know where to turn. Im not trying to bring anyone here down either but i have a problem. My wife told me she wants to be separated. I didnt see it coming at all although she did seem like she was in a funk. She told me she felt like she was sacrificing her happiness for mine and i told her i would sacrifice mine for her in a heartbeat. I want to fight for this but i dont think thats making things any better. The worst part is we have a 3 year old child together and shes going to move across the country with her. Im broken and lost . Shes taking my child and shattering my life into pieces. She said im amazing, generous ,her best friend and its nothing i did. But does that mean its something i didnt do ? I could move there, find a job, live a shitty life while she moves to her parents in a nice happy family while im alone. Or i could work on myself and get my life to the point where i can have a stable happy life and keep a good relationship with them. I always felt like right and wrong were so obvious to me but the line between them is very blurred for me right now. I just dont know what to do. I knew the moment i saw her i wanted to be with her forever . She seemed to feel the same up until now.

Face the music 4
Move and be miserable 3
Work on my life 2
Fight for her 6
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Ellenna
    4 years ago | pl

    I suggest that for a start you get some legal advice about your child: I don't know where you live but surely she doesn't have the right to take your child far away from you without your consent?

    She's bullshitting you: that's not how you treat your "best friend".

    Please get some support from somewhere: it's natural to feel devastated right now but that's not the right state of mind in which to make important decisions.

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  • Grunewald
    4 years ago

    Get some real life people on your side: someone who can hug you and walk you through this. All we can do is type.

    Ask her to be very specific. Ask her to mention actual situations. Then work out a plan to change these specifics. Be willing to find a relationship counsellor. Do whatever it takes. Expect it to hurt a lot before it gets better. Don't expect to be the same person afterwards.

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  • brutus
    4 years ago

    You have to be an abusive asshole to women if you want to keep them around.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    4 years ago

    I think im going to let them go. Stay here for a little while and move out there after my heads on better and my ducks are in a row. But i cant be away from my little girl for long. My baby loves me and loves being with me , my wife is taking this away from her too. But right now its hard to hear dada please stop "crying its okay "as often as i am . So ill keep communication tight ,try not to fight or be angry at my wife (i know her head isnt in a good place ) get out there as much as i can and suck it up while living a life i never wanted . If anyone on this planet could make me do this it'd be my baby. Shes my world. I was a king, with a queen and princess,living the golden life . I still feel like the luckiest guy to have an entire decade with my love and 3 years with my favorite person ever. Maybe i should consider how lucky i am to have gotten that. No one in this is ever going to be the same. We've been on the same path for so long but we came to a fork. She wants to go right and i want to follow but she wants me to go left. The path is dark on both sides. But on the right theres other people, comfort and happiness. The left is so dark you cant even see whats next. I want to go right.or hope the two paths meet. I need to keep on either path if i want to find my daughter again. Im not giving up.

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    • McBean
      4 years ago

      If I had to guess, I would bet your wife misses her mother. Her identity may not be developed well enough to be the independent person she needs to be.

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      • Nednerb43
        4 years ago

        Then why leave me alone? She doesnt love me anymore

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    This isn't specific enough. In what way is she sacrificing her happiness? How would moving away with her ruin your life; would it ruin your life?

    I personally think ya'll should go to marriage counseling.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I agree but she doesnt want to. Seems like she needs to "find " herself. The way i see it i give them a roof over their heads and food in their bellies and show them both love and attention. We made a lifelong commitment when we got married and had a child and even if she did make me unhappy i know i could suck it up and push through. For better or worse ,till death .

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        My ex talked a lot of bullshit about wanting to "find" himself before I got him to confess that he was cheating on me with this bitch from his work. He told me that I should work for the government, because apparently I was good at interrogating him. I've never cheated on anyone so I don't have much sympathy for cheaters regardless of the circumstances. I'm not saying she's cheating, but if she's absolutely inconsolable, and can't tell you why it's a big red flag that something is serious is up.

        Did she give up any significant career, or life opportunities for ya'll to get married?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          She was a housekeeper at a hotel before she gave birth. Then she never worked which i believe was a part of the problem because she didnt have much social interaction outside of myself. I did tell her to try to find something part time if she wanted to or go to school since her parents said theyd pay the bill. I think she has feelings for someone and wont tell me . But at this point im trying really hard to play it cool and just get in a "pack your shit and leave " mentality . I know im gonna feel like killing myself for a long time and probably just go to work and sleep for a few months. Same thing happened when my dad died . But i had my lady to pull me out.i keep lashing out at her and yet again making things worse.

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          • RoseIsabella
            4 years ago

            Well, I certainly hope that she isn't cheating, because cheating is such a shitty thing to do. However, something you said has peaked my interest.

            You said that you were suicidally depressed when your father passed, and that is indeed scary, but you also that you had your lady to pull you out of it, but you lashed out, and made things worse. When you say your lady to whom are you referring, was that your current wife? Did you lash out at her, your wife?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              4 years ago

              And she did say that we shouldnt hold back if we have feelings for other people. Which broke my heart one more time, this was like an hour ago so pretty recent. I said it makes me really sad that you want someone new and she said she was sorry, i asked again if she already has feelings for someone and again she said no. But i think if she did find someone she would break up with me first and wait to tell me about the new sucker to lessen the sting. I hate the idea of some asshole getting more time with my daughter than me. If this is the case then why not just call it quits? Im being replaced . As a father and lover. Taken the sunshine from my life. I cant take this anymore. I want to run away where no one will find me. I should have listened to my dad and never had kids or got married. Fuck this shit . Im sick of pretending to be okay and holding everything back . I dont want to scream cuz i love her. Fuck i dont know what to do. 2 weeks ago thought things were pretty good . Oh i turn 30 in 2 days. Glad i get to look back on this forever with a nice round number

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              4 years ago

              Yes its my wife that helped me . And i mean just lately with whats happened ive said some mean things but i do apologize after . I dont want to be so mad at her but i cant help it. My emotions are very bi polar at the moment and im usually very happy and just having a good time. I know shes not doing it on purpose but i feel like she made me a bad dad ,or at least i'll never have the chance to be the dad i want to

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    4 years ago

    Thanks guys

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