Lesbian gay straight bisexual hetero asexual anime characters

71% Normal
3 Comments

Well, I'll try to keep this as short as I possibly can.

Ever since I was a young girl, I've always been extremely attracted to women. I was deathly afraid of men, especially those in their mid 40's, even my own father. This was most likely due to being molested by my step grandfather over the course of my childhood. I could only ever imagine myself being with a woman, having intercourse with another woman, kissing another woman, etc.

I did eventually fall in love with a boy, though it was born more out of desperation and a desire to feel normal. This ended quickly. Four months into the relationship, he took my virginity by force. This sort of woke me up in a way, and towards the end of our relationship, I came out as bisexual, foolishly believing this would make me seem more socially acceptable. I became infatuated with another bisexual girl, who happened to return my affection. My boyfriend found out and broke up with me, which completely destroyed the faint attraction I had to men.

About three weeks after the break up, while nursing my shattered heart, the girl I liked kissed me. It was revolting. She was an awful kisser. After this, I broke off all connection, an immature thing to do, and swore to only take my passion with men. This, once again, changed after I found I had been used by a boy.

At this point, I once again only desired to be with women. A few months after being used by said twattish boy from the last paragraph, I was violated by a women. And where did this leave me? The human body became revolting. Anyone who expressed any inclination towards me became inferior for because they could feel happiness, love, kindness, anger, sadness, etc. I felt nothing for those months. Whereas I had usually masturbated to a variety of porn at least once a week, I stopped touching myself for months.

About three months of that, I found I could be attracted to male and female anime/book/video game characters. But that was about it. Once again, it changed. Confusing, eh? I found myself ridiculously and irrevocably attracted to men. The next month, it was women. And now? I don't know. I don't think I'll ever know. I'm so confused about all of this. And I'm currently desperately in love with a woman with a mind more beautiful than anything I've ever happened upon. But, I am rather insecure,have severe gymnephobia, and consider myself sexually inadequate.

Anyone have the heart to help? Or at least some advice? Every time I become attracted to someone, man or woman, I begin to resent them. I mistrust them, though this contempt is never openly expressed. So, uh, help?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 14 votes (10 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Since you seem to have been assualted and used so much, you should really get some counselling or some support.

    I'm no doctor but it seems like you're jumping from one thing to another, hoping to find happiness but all you're doing is setting yourself up to be hurt again.

    I would stop thinking about being with someone for the moment and take time for yourself, to learn, love and to recover with yourself. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • ucipher8
    11 years ago

    want help, just be single. the right boy or girl is out there and if you don't find em, fuck it. you've been molested and abused for so long I'm surprised you even have to ask.

    You do not need to be in a relationship to be happy with life. As it so appears, every relationship you have had so far has turned out bad.

    Stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Immune2BS&way2Illuminated
    11 years ago

    I hear you and I am very sorry for the traumatic events that took place in your life so very much. It seems as though sour apples are all you are finding in your forest of experiences but I can assure you there is green fruit to eat that is good. Let me tell you this, what the others have said is true, the only way to find a way through this is through self introspection. What has happened is that disembodiment of emotional value has become the reality and a contortion of a identity has surfaced. Your's has become a search for what is, but every time you find something, it transforms into a "what if" of tunnels leading to doubt and the snowball of once started in on formulation.

    I'm not asking you to drop all pretenses and eradicate all forms of relationships you have and neither the new found desires you have. What I would urge you to do is to seek in upon yourself. See inside and ask yourself the questions "why am I doubting this person?" YOU will answer yourself with the "correct deep deep down answer" because you are you and nobody knows you like yourself. So it will lead you down a path where your self-analysis will become a road that will lead you further away from self-separation to truth.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0