Lack of sex drive

I was once engaged at 19 to a girl I dated since I was 18 and we broke up at 20. Part of the problem was moving into a new appartment gave me Anxiety. The anxiety led me to drink more and have sex less. I was diagnosed with Generalized anxiety when I was 15. After taking medication and Cognative therapy I broke out of the cycle of anxiety and regained playing sports and pleasing girls sexualy in high school and hanging out with friends. Then when I met my Ex I really fell in love with her and wanted to marry her I asked her she said Yes and I still had no anxiety we lived with our parents sex was fantastic - when we moved into our appartment I had panic attacks and high anxiety I told her that This was just a phase and I needed sometime to get over it an insured her that it wasnt her at all it was me CUS IT REALLY WAS - she decided that She wanted to take a brake becuase I was drinking more having less sex and always seemed stressed, all this happened because of anxiety. Not her or lack of interest in her. She said she wanted to keep the appartment. I became agitated and fought with her never physically just back and fourth. I moved back home and it took me a couple months to recover from the anxiety and panic. She has since moved on got married and had a Child. I now have lost the interest in trying hard to impress girls and save up and do the right things and even lost my desire to have kids because the failure made me feel less like a man. It also makes me feel that if my high anxiety or panic attacks come back that any woman i fall in love with will give up on me. I would never give up on a person I loved no matter what. I have since learned many ways to vent my anxiety with out using alcohol and have never used drugs - yet the Threat of failing as a man and The threat of a woman giving up on me LOOM over my head and Its come to the point where I don even pursue sex from women I find incredibly physically attractive!!! - anybody with any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

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47% Normal
Based on 60 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • woahitsmaria

    Coming from a girl that lacks a sex drive since birth, I can say that it's normal to not want sex, especially since you've already had it, and with the one you love, so maybe that's why. You guys already "made love" and well, to me, sex isn't everything, I can go on for the rest of my life without it, but you should see a therapist about the way you're feeling, I know what tha'ts kind of like.

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  • Nikki:)

    I am a girl with a husband with the same issue, except he doesn't drink or antything. From the woman's perspective, it's very frustrating!!!! You can't help but think that it's you, he lost interest, or he's cheating (I really know he's not). You really feel like you've been discarded. I truly have been thinking of going elsewhere to get it because it seems like he doesn't care how I feel about it, and doesn't even make an effort. I would probably feel a little better about the situation if he would talk about it in a mature manner with me. I love him and I really don't want to cheat, but I get hit on daily by alot of hot guys at work, and they seem to show wayyyy more interest than him. I never cheated on him before, I doubt I'll ever do it, but I think about it!

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    • scandinavia

      Talk to your other half, tell him it's getting to the point where you find compliments from other men exciting, this can eventually go in the wrong direction..maybe he will think about it...

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  • imagine309

    I don't like to have sex either. For me it is the same thing over and over and ends the same. How can sex be exciting? People are very obsessed with sex, and why? I have no feelings at all when I do have sex.

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    • sparrowfeed

      maybe you need a bigger one.

      i could use a 9-incher, to be honest.

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  • lalala26

    You should talk to a doctor and a counselor . You need to let go of the past and of things even though it might be hard or it will hold you back from happiness in the future.

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  • TB1920

    Hang in there man,
    Really dont know how hard it is for you but all i can say is you gotta go and at least try to hit on some girls.Ya you have a fear of being a failure everyone has that. You gotta pick yourself up and move on and try to find happiness with another women. As long as you try and put effort into what you want no matter what happens your not a failure. the fear of women leaving is understandable but so you are not a failure you wont let anything stop you from getting what you want. Nut up and take a chance. your not a failure. you havent done anything yet. I hopes this help you out if not
    shit happens
    good luck bud

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  • scandinavia

    thats kind of sad :(...I can't give you an answer to your problems I am afraid, have you tried therapy?! are you taking pills for your condition?! they might make your sexual desires hit bottom, there are lots of pills that do...anyways I sort of feel for you..I hope it sorts out! :)

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  • crackdispenor

    i have a lack of sex drive for my girlfriend. she wants to fuck but i dont want to anymore... been together too long. but when i fuck a girl i havnt fucked b4 i get super duper hard.. thats just life you cant eat the same shit everyday

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  • sparrowfeed

    the first time i had sex i didn't get an orgasm.. this sucks.. (girl)

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    • crackdispenor

      i can help

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