Kink shaming iin?

42% Normal

Is it normal to believe that kink shaming is a huge ass problem? People think everyone into kinky shit is some fucked in the head sadist who likes abusing women. It seems quite apparent that people would think less of and or be weirded out if they found out a friend of theirs was into kinky fuckery. What kind of sex you like, as long as its legal, consesual and somewhat safe, should not shape how people think of you. Is it normal to think that kink shaming is a legitament issue?

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42% Normal

Based on 19 votes (8 yes)

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Comments ( 76 )

mauzi

4 years ago | pl

It's not. People seem to think they should be allowed to say any dumb shit they want, but that no one else is allowed to tell them it's dumb shit. If someone is "kink shaming" you, you probably should not have told that person about your sex life in the first place. Don't put things out there if you're going to be upset by hearing other opinions on it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Usually I don't seek out and tell them, it is more either them finding out themselves or through word of mouth, or sometimes they sound curious so you tell them
  
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WoodlandRose

4 years ago

Best way to avoid "kink shaming" would be to keep your kinks to yourself and significant others. If its your significant other that is shaming your kink then you you should look for a new significant other.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  That is what a lot of people are saying. Please understand that I don't just walk up to people and talk about it, or bring it up in conversation like it ain't no thang. Word kinda got out about me once because I asked a girl I felt close with about it hoping to het laid, and she flipped out. Among her friend group I'm the 'kinky' guy and they act like that is a bad thing. Also, I have to go to extra work to make sure nobody finds out details, because I know they will judge me if they catch wind of some kinky shit going on.
  
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  - WoodlandRose
    
    4 years ago
    
    Sounds like you might have tried to move a little quickly there. You have to ease into it. Typically you gotta get past the more normal sexual activities before you take someone directly into your kink dungeon. Getting kinky with someone else involves a level of comfort, you clearly had not achieved that level of comfort yet.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      In retrospect, it probably was a little to far, but I don't have one special 'significant' other. I rely primarily on friends with benefits and online hookup dating. Commited relationships are not really a thing with me, which makes it more difficult. But that is still a sitaution a lot of people are in.
      
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SwickDinging

4 years ago

Do people publicly talk in that much detail about their sex lives? I wouldn't normally talk about stuff like that with someone who I wasn't having sex with. And to be honest if a person I was talking to started telling me they were into lots of kinky things then I would definitely judge them, not because they're into kinky stuff but because they felt the need to broadcast it to people in normal conversation who didn't even ask about it. Nobody wants to hear that shit. Just do whatever you want in the privacy of your own bedroom. No one cares unless you start forcing them to listen to you talk about it.

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- curious-bunny
  
  4 years ago
  
  Yea us younglings are more open abput our sexuality
  
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  - SwickDinging
    
    4 years ago
    
    In which case, are you sure you're being judged because of your kinks, and not just because you're going into so much detail about intimate stuff? Because I really don't care what people are into, we all have our kinks, I would just be surprised to have someone strike up a conversation about it. It comes across as attention seeking to me. I guess if everyone is talking about it then that's not the case though...
    
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    - WeirdManFromTheSouth
      
      4 years ago
      
      Wait is that not socially acceptable? I usually go into detail about my sex life even if its an old lady im talkin too
      
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    - curious-bunny
      
      4 years ago
      
      Well some of mine are out there so it's easy to tell yea, I dont go up to random people and stsrt taliking about it though. I dont know what ops problem is, like know your crowd you know?
      
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      - SwickDinging
        
        4 years ago
        
        You could put it on a t shirt lol. Saves you having to explain them to people. You could even have graphic diagrams
        
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        curious-bunny
        
        4 years ago
        
        Haha publicly advertising sone of the stuff in on to like that would get me arrested so quick. It's s good idea though!
        
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  - LloydAsher
    
    4 years ago
    
    It's more of a rush to talk about it. It's the spice of conversations with friends and relationships.
    
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    - curious-bunny
      
      4 years ago
      
      Pretty much. I enjoy it
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  You do bring up a good point. It is not super common to talk about such things, but usually that is not how people find out. I don' just walk up and say "hey guys, good to see yah! Now tell me about all your fetishes!" We also do have to go to a lot of work sometimes just to make sure people don't find out, because we know they would be weirded out if they did.
  
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  - SwickDinging
    
    4 years ago
    
    That's annoying! Just don't mention it to anyone and carry on having your fun. It's no one else's business so long as you don't make it their business.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I know. I just hate having to be all secrative about it. But it is such weird shit that there may be no way around it.
      
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      - Maid_in_Pink
        
        4 years ago
        
        Yeah, I told someone I thought would be cool with some of my fucked up shit and they were most definitely not and then someone I thought would freak out was like.. That's cool...can I watch sometime?
        
        It really is tough to tell and some people like about being shocked or disgusted by things because they are afraid if they aren't then you will be disgusted by them not being disgusted.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        I know right! Well said! Its like they might be cool with it, but If they are not it could be a hige turn off or awkward moment. So I try not to risk it and keep it secret from everyone except the people I do it with or hope to do it with, and you guys on here of course.
        
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EnglishLad

4 years ago

Remember the acronym - YKINMKBYKIOK

Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK

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Goomats

4 years ago

Some kinks can be hidden more easily than others. As an adipophile, the only way to conceal my fetish would be to keep my lovers secret, which is rude and sketchy. I had a few serious relationships in my twenties and people caught on and got VERY FUCKING RUDE. Kink shaming can be real, painful and happen in real life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I knew people who actually agreed would be kinky in some way! That is really weird that you have a fat fetish also, life must be rough.
  
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  - Goomats
    
    4 years ago
    
    That's not the easiest aspect of my life, but it's got it's perks. Over all though, my life is pretty good. I've been married for four years. He's fantastic. My self-esteem is almost okay now.:-P
    
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strangethingshappen

4 years ago

It comes down to morals and kink shaming is a word ones have made up in attempt to condone such immoral behavior

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Immoral behavior my ass!! What can you have against kinky sex? Tell me, tell me please! I am interested to hear your retarded and religiously biased response!
  
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  - strangethingshappen
    
    4 years ago
    
    Immoral, if you don't know the definition which clearly you don't nor have a moral compass then you need to grow up
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      If sex is so scary and evil, it sounds like your the snowflake that needs to grow up! Did your mom tell you sex was dirty or what? What I choose to do with consenting adults that is not illegal or dangerous is none of your fucking buisness! If I'm not doing anyhting wrong and me and my partner are having a great time, what the fuck do you care? You can think it is immoral to you, but I don't think it is at all. So quit fucking judging your just proving my post correct all the more.
      
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      - strangethingshappen
        
        4 years ago
        
        If it's none of my business then why even make a post on here asking for opinions 😂😂😂
        Also people who do not know what morals are, are the ones whom have none (Go figure). Name calling doesn't change the fact you have no virtues. Never said anything was wrong with sex but a lot of people like yourself are warped and do taboo shit therefore, you are classed as a degenerate which is a fact.
        Also you're overly defensive behavior proves how guilty you truly feel along with the fact that you had to make a post on an anonymous site about it. Being defensive gives away the fact you feel bad. So why don't you go for therapy instead of complaining on a random site.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        The point of the post was to ask if it is normal to think kink shaming is a problem. Not whether or not you think it is immoral. And I do have morals, hence the part about AS LONG AS IT IS CONSENSUAL, LEGAL AND SOMEWHAT SAFE part about my post. Did you miss that part? Rape is immoral, murder is immoral, theft is immoral... how much longer do I have to go on to prove I actually have morals? Also if it "is a fact" that I am degenerate, please show some sources. It should bot be that hard if it is a 'fact' right? Here is a source that explains how kinky people are in fact not 'degenerate' just for some food for thought.
        
        https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201502/the-surprising-psychology-bdsm%3Famp&ved=2ahUKEwjZzpzCruvhAhUBW60KHapyAh4QFjACegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw37I9gOSG2kCEoXVhacc9gF&ampcf=1
        
        Please read the second bullet point at the very least.
        
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- WeirdManFromTheSouth
  
  4 years ago
  
  Morals is a matter of opinion. Some people think its immoral to have sex before marriage and some people dont. I dont find sex immoral because no one gets hurt.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    4 years ago
    
    Thank you for not being a fucking dumbass! Makes you a part of an elite minority group on this site!
    
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LloydAsher

4 years ago

Kinks I deem are terrible are ones with long lasting or have health adverse effects, this includes but not limited to: Scat, cutting, piercing play, waterboarding, and the higher levels of asphyxiation play. Anything below having blood or shit involved is A OK in my book.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I would agree. Asphixiation and cutting are terrible in addition to the things you listed, with the exception of scat play. That may not be the worst, it depends what you do with it. If you eat it it could be bad, but just shittinh on eachother or intentionally shitting your pants is not bad.
  
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  - LloydAsher
    
    4 years ago
    
    Excrement is only suppose to come out the anus, any micro lesions on the skin or opening into the body presents a risk factor for serous infection. Diaper play, sure. Rather people just urinate in them if they want the rush, urine is sterile thus it's not included on the harmful for the body list of kinks.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      Maybe there is some risk... but sometimes you have to risk it to get the biscut! And at least you know you won't die
      
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[Old Memory]

4 years ago

Who does this? I don't see anyone kink shaming

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Its not terribly common, but neither is being very kinky. They are a small minority, but informal shaming does exist and I have expirienced it.
  
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Cuntsiclestick

4 years ago

I noticed that whenever people complain about being kink shamed they're always blabbing on about their kinks in places it's not wanted. I think that people are allowed to have kinks and all, but if you're talking about it in a place that's innapropriate or a conversation where it's inappropriate, then you have no right to be upset when others get upset over it. I'm a socially awkward person with kinks and even I know that. Lol

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  That is not always the case but it does happen. Even just with regular sex, when people talk about it trying to sound cool like how long they can last or soemthing it makes me unconfortable. Like people don't care when it is someone else, but if it is us it is important. Also, kinky people have to try to hide it a lot of times for fear of judgment fror friends or family, so it makes it difficult to act out certain kinks.
  
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  - WeirdManFromTheSouth
    
    4 years ago
    
    I like to slap women in the face during sex btw
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      And if poeple knew you did, even if she is consenting, a lot of people would think your fucked in the head. That is the problem at hand.
      
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      - WeirdManFromTheSouth
        
        4 years ago
        
        Yes but i am fucked in the head anyway and i accept it
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        But people would respect you less wouldn't they? The fact that you accept it is great but other people still do not.
        
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bigbudchonga

4 years ago

Some things are, and will always be, inherent distasteful to humans. If someone were to tell me they jack off to being forced to eat shit then I would think, whilst they should fully be able to do it, it's disgusting.

Nothing anyone can say will ever make most humans conjure that image up as anything other than an unpleasant one. If it's kept in the bedroom then fine, but if you're pushing the fact you enjoy completely, and utterly depraved acts then people just aren't going to accept it. We've evolved to find certain things disgusting, and no amount of social conditioning will ever undermine that fundamental, biological reality.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I see your point, and I know people will never think its completely fine. I do think the situation could still be improved by making it more of a common and well known thing. What people don't realize is that we also have to try to hid it, whuch sometimes isn't easy, because we know if anyone finds out or is curious, they will most likely judge us.
  
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  - strangethingshappen
    
    4 years ago
    
    You can call it judging but it's more like just facing the truth and reality of warped immoral behavior
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      Please explain why you consider it immoral. If both parties consent and both enjoy the festivities and no lasting damage occurs, what is the problem? You seem to be the only person who thinks its immoral, so I hope you have some good justification at least.
      
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      - strangethingshappen
        
        4 years ago
        
        Not the only person, but maybe one of the few who has virtues and withholds to these. Most ofc and especially men wouldn't think its immoral behavior since they themselves engage in such lowly activities due to being animalistic in nature, having to stoop so low.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        The only person I have heard on this site. I have checked some other online opinions, and there are a few who think it is immoral, but the overwhelming majority still think it is fine if it is consensual and somewhat safe. Then you say men are more likely to deem it moral, and I agree completely. But so what? You still haven't gotten to why you personally think kinky sex is immoral. Please share!
        
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Are You Normal?

Kink shaming iin?