Just one of those people

In Middle School I was teased relentlessly, I never had any friends, and was excruciatingly awkward.

As an underclassman I was bullied, beat, and made the butt of many practical jokes, and still had no friends.

As an Upperclassman, I found people willing to sit with me at lunch, and was never again picked on or bullied like the earlier years of my life. But if I had a party, or planned an event, no one ever showed up, no one ever answered the phone for me, replied to my emails and I once spent 4 months in the hospital, and no one visited me.

I'm no longer awkward, when I speak I speak with purpose. I'm told I'm funny. I'm not mean. I don't have any crippling physical features in which people would mock, or be afraid of. There's nothing I can see that would make people just not want to be around me.

Yet when confronted with this issue of "why I'm always left behind" People have always answered with "you're just one of those people."

I'm starting collage in the fall, and I don't want to be "one of those people" anymore... do you guys have any tips?

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 35 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • sugarplum

    You sound like a wonderful person.It does sound like you could use a heaping dose of self confidence.Get some motivational books or CD's.One of my favorites is How To Win With People.It is all about building and nurturing relationships.Good luck,I bet you are on your way to a wonderful life.God Bless You:-)

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  • sherry

    You need to ask someone to be very frank with you and tell you what is going on. Make friends with others who are left behind. Make you own group .

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  • Naut

    Try to be yourself, but when first meeting people be more of a listener to their stories than saying your own. Get to know them better and open up, but don't say things all at once (like about your middle school years). Try to find a hobby you enjoy that others can relate to. Good luck, and keep your head above the water.

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  • You seem rlly kool but like sometimes you need to stick up for yourself and punch back when they beat you up and maybe try to go to a new school

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  • TorothePekingese

    You sound like a really nice person, if you ask me, I think that all of the people who ditched, ridiculed,mand beat you are just a bunch of jealous good for nothing jerks! Always remember to be yourself and try hard and I'm sure you will survive college!
    - p.s. always read a head and start your homework waaayyyyyy early so that you can get it all over with and hang out with your friends

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  • knotty_moe

    Take what people make you out to be and use it to your advantage. But you dont have to change the way you are to be around other people because that just wouldnt be right. Do stuff for you,or get a super hot girlfriend and just devote your time to working out on a regular basis then your a shoo-in

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  • Maybe u need to do more stuff ur friends do. I know its good to star new trends and not always be a folower, but i used to have the same problem. I learned how to play football (now pretty good at it) and got an xbox. It takes money and effort, but its worth it. Im still a bit different, but my friend hav fun with me and i have fun with them. I now also play lacross. (go lax!)

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  • shaywoohoo

    Here's the thing about college: it isn't high school. Take part in extracurriculars. Find people you fit in with. That's what I did. I as teased like crazy throughout my pre-college years and my mother (being a more traditional Chinese American) didn't understand. I went off to a great college, met my husband, and most of my friends are from college the others are from work. If you think it's you, go to talk to someone. Chances are, you just have to find the right people but you're looking in the wrong places. You can't seek popularity because then, it will always elude you.

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  • ttty

    Just because people will sit with you during lunch doesn't make them your friends or make you popular. What has happened is theyve stopped being horrible little shitstains (mostly) and so they're willing to be kind to you and you've gained a degree of confidence and composure. A situation that can easily occur when someone has been socially brutalized then granted a reprieve is that she becomes somewhat servile and eager to please, supressing her authentic self while she tries to fit in. While you are "funny" and "nice" people don't neccessarily like you, they just don't dislike you. It takes more that not not fitting in to make friends, you have to forge a personal connection with an individual not the entire social group. So while you should put effort into building a social network focus on finding a few solid friends. Also, since you have lived so long as an outcast you will fin it easiest people who have gone through or are still goon through a similar experience, so don't be afraid to lend some of your kindness to them as they need it as much as you do.

    There are a number of self help books that can help you become more sophisticated and social but I would also suggest therapy. It's not just for crazy people. Your social development had been warped by other peoples cruelty and you need a kind ear and external perspective to help you heal, set proper boundaries, and help you develop.

    Your college will likely provide a counselor for free. Go. The first year of college will be very stressfull, particulalry if you are worried about your social standing AND coursework. You'll have a chance to rewrite yourself. This doesn't mean faking a past and persona. Rather a new environment give new opportunities and if you meet them bravely you will grow into someone new. Seek out good people. Make solid friiends. Be kind and generous with your time and affection but do not be other peoples doormat or too eager to please, let them come to you or halfway. There are many shy people out there, so be outgoing and initiate but don't expect most of them to care. Look for those that do.

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  • kinfolk

    listen bud, no matter what. be yourself, don't ever try to be someone you're not, Im sure you have hobbies, interests, or activites that relate to other people. find a college club or a group to start off. meet people, and I can't stress enough, BE YOURSELF! having confidence is easier said than done, but quite honestly...why would anyone be better than you? I think if u have that mentality, u will start to open up, and have some more opportunities to meet people. hope the best for you buddy, good luck in college ;)

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  • I will solve your problem in 2 yea that's right 2 easy ass steps. 1. Go to urban planet and by a nice jacket jeans ect. 2. Find a girl to go out with and you'll be the shit in collage. Also playing the guitar could help.

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    • ukegirl555

      so... buy nice clothes and become a lesbian?

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  • Be social and cool

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  • Well good for you. Some people end up commuting suicide over that :(

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