Just in it for the chase

56% Normal
23 Comments

I'm a college student but I've never had a bf. I've had many opportunities to be in a relationship, but here's the problem: I can never stay interested in a guy who likes me back. I can fall in "love" very quickly, but as soon as the guy starts to notice me and like me back, I'm repulsed by all his flaws. It's not the guy's fault because no one is perfect, but I convince myself that the guy is too ugly, short, dumb, etc.

I really don't want to be like this, but I feel like it's just the way I was born. However, this only happens with guys who like me back. I once like a guy, but he never returned my feelings so I ended up liking him for about 2 years until he moved. Please, how do I stay in love with a guy who loves me back? How do I accept the guy for who he is, including all his flaws. I guess I'm just a girl who's in it for the chase and once the game's over, I get bored. At this rate, I'll never be able to be in a long-term relationship. Please give me your advice! Thanks.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 105 votes (59 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • pinkfingers
    14 years ago

    we're so similar. Once the guy likes you, you no longer finds him attractive.

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  • bobthemuffin
    15 years ago

    that sounds EXACTLY like me..
    once the chase is over it's no longer enjoyable.

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  • lifeisdisgusting
    12 years ago

    I'm EXACTLY the same. What is up with this??? It's better than being feeling overly attached to someone, that's even worse

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  • bewmbox
    14 years ago

    You'll go well with the school jerk/douchbag/jock

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  • Skittles244
    14 years ago

    Dont worry I am a few years younger than you and I have never had a bf either. Well what your saying is that you like a guy when they dont like you back and if they do like you back then you only notice there flaws and dont like them anymore. My advice is that when you find a guy that likes you back you should try to focus on everything that is great about them. Try to get to know them a little better before you dislike them. If you focus on what they are good at then I think it will help a little bit. I hope it gets better, good luck!!

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    • Skittles244
      14 years ago

      I forgot to add, I have also been in this situation! In the 7th and 8th grade I liked a boy who was not the same skin color but I looked past that, He was very Intelligent and nice. I liked him for 2 years and I found out he liked me back and I was just tottally put down. I didnt like him at all after that (not because of his skin color). I just didnt have the feelings I used too and it happened years after that and it keeps happening!!

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  • bkdoubleu
    14 years ago

    perhaps your a lesbian.

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  • pheonix11525
    15 years ago

    you need to watch that love doctor thing on vh1.

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  • Princess280
    15 years ago

    You probably enjoy doing the chasing or something, then once you realise the challenge is over, you get bored and look for a challenge elsewhere.

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  • Agrobomb
    15 years ago

    All the time my friend

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  • WhyItsMe
    15 years ago

    You seem to have an "outer shell" which you uses to keep your personality from escaping. When someone asked you out, you refused because you feel "vulnerable".

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  • pink_apple
    15 years ago

    This sounds like me! Even the bit about falling in love with a guy who didn't like u back for 2 years! What happens is you idealise the person and think of them so highly until they like u back and the fact that they are now accessible causes you to react with undermining them and seeing all their flaws when originally you saw the opposite. I'm like this because it is linked to my borderline personality (intense and unstable relationships) but for you it may just be a defense mechanism you have developed. If you are concerned, i know i have been like this for many years, you may want to speak to a psychologist to try and discover what the roots of this problem are :)

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  • moepropane
    15 years ago

    i am the same way..one day you will just find someone and not notice there flaws, and fall head over heals in love with him, till he breaks your heart.

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  • DeathReveng
    15 years ago

    same but im a guy and a junior in high school...

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    • Skittles244
      14 years ago

      You have these problems 2?

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  • sayanything
    15 years ago

    Wow, that's just like me! I liked this guy at school for a few months, and when he asked me out, he said that he liked me for soo long. I I told him that I didn't find him attractive and that I liked someone else... It's so weird, I fall in and out of love so easily! I feel horrible because I'm so shallow, but I can't help it!

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  • hannahxowants
    15 years ago

    I'm exactly the same way

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  • bitchy11
    15 years ago

    just stay with the guy

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    • firestar
      15 years ago

      take some time to see how he really is insted of justchasing then leaving.

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  • [Old Memory]
    15 years ago

    Perhaps you should take a deep, hard look in the mirror and recognize your own flaws so then you will realize they maybe flawed but like all people you are too.

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    • xquiziteyes
      15 years ago

      I know that no one's perfect, and I fully realize that I have many, many flaws. I really don't know why I can't stand guys as more than friends. Maybe it's insecurity and I'm afraid of relationships?

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      • TheForbiddenHottie
        13 years ago

        I have the same problem as yours but won't say that it's normal..
        its wicked but it is a part of me..
        if you really need advice, here's it:
        don't start a relationship..I'm serious, I've had lots of regrets because of similar mistakes. Wait until you find a guy who is more than great to keep you interested for a long time. The 2-year itch is common, there is a 2-yr, 7-yr and 25-yr itch. But don't break-up as soon as you have the first bit of disinterest. Stay, just hold on, exercise some self-restraint. Things will start getting better and you'll realize that you've done the right thing by staying together with a great guy..
        I'm the hottie types, yet always needed to convince myself, my ego that I can have whoever I wanted. It was def wrong. Feel good about yourself, but stay down-to-earth even if ure irrestibly bful. It helps. Worked for me.

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      • [Old Memory]
        15 years ago

        I'm afraid of relationships too, I'm very afraid to approach a guy and I tense up and can barely talk when a guy I don't know talks to me.

        I guess I have no room to talk because when a guy attempts to "hit" on me I just stare at them like they are a complete idiot and I say nothing. My idea of the perfect relationship with me would be meeting a guy somewhere and having to be around them often like at school or work and actually both of us not liking each other and then we just slowly fall in love. The beauty of it is we would still get to know each other even if we disliked each other, but there would be no pressure at first to have sex. how romantic..... HA! Once can only dream.....

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