Just found out that my bf has a secret msn account 4 the past 5+months

When we started dating, my bf closed my hotmail account and deleted all my msn contacts. Several months later, i did the same to him. He said it was okay to deactivate his account bcs he doesnt talk to anyone that much anymore. A few months later, we both made new msn accounts and only added eachother. But after about 5 months, last week, i found out he had another account where he had added his friends and some girls, and during all this time i had no idea that he had a completly different email. I kept asking him why doesnt he add me also instead of having 2 different emails and he told me that he will never add me on that Msn. I asked him why, but he gets so mad and yells and swears at me. I find it doesnt make sense. Im his gf of almost 16months, why should i be on a different msn whereas everybody else are on another one? Why doesnt he want to add me? It drives me crazy. I also feel betrayed bcs i did stop talking to my friends for him, and i didnt make a secret email and added everyone to it, whereas he lied to me and made me believe he did stop talking to them. His friends are bad people, that is why i wanted him to stop talking to them, btw. I dont know what to do, surely that isnt normal! Please help me!.

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Based on 94 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 37 )
  • RowdyCowboy

    He obviously has another life and doesn't want you to be part of it- Why would stay with someone who is not totally open about his life? And then he yells and swears at you? Don't you see that as a bad sign?

    Just move on with your life. Find a decent guy who has decent friends and a future.

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    • serafina

      thanks! I understand but its so hard for me to break up. I wish it were easier but it really isnt. And i feel that he knows that i cant leave him and he has all this power over me...!

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  • Orochi

    Dump him.

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    • bambi156

      It seems u guys cant trust eachother or be trusted. He seems very controlling and you wont do anything about it. If hes not telling you why he has a second email. Then either hes cheating or hiding something very important from you. SO.... sorry but its time to let him go and move on.

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    • serafina

      but do u know why he doesn't want to add me to it?

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  • BitchesBeDigginDemPhilosophers

    excuse me niggas, what have y'all been smoking? Everybody's like "dumb dat mothafucka", it's like y'all feel forced to be on the narrators side of this. Sweetheart I don't know the whole story, only what u shared with us, but c'mon girl. "His friends are bad people, that is why i wanted him to stop talking to them" That right there.. is the problem. That's not a healthy relationship, I mean damn shawty. U can't just controle shit like that? A relationship isn't a imaginary world where u two are the only people alive, floating around in a cloud of love. This is not a fairytale, where the two of u where destined to be together. He isn't a prince who was supposed to find you... and what kinda bitch dances around in shoes made of glass anyway? I mean u are two different persons with two different lives, who luckily found each other. Now u have to share your lives. Not erase them. Go out some more. With your friends and his friends. Fuck it, go out with both of them at the same time. You'll learn that some of these mothafuckas are entertaining and nice. U don't have to love all of them, but god a sad fucking couple you'd be with no friends and no life except for each other. I don't see yo boyfriend as a bad guy.. I see the two of u as a fucked up couple. Think about it shawty. Bitches I'm out.

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    • Ronaldfiveofive

      Dude your replies in here are so fucking epic

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    • jeppehvalsoe

      "what kinda bitch dances around in shoes made of glass anyway?" fuck I'm laughing

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  • It dosent matter if your and his family knows about you
    he still might be with someone else
    why would you put up with that and why would you dump all your friends for a guy?
    please please PLEASE dnt put up with the shit he's putting you through its all very wrong and
    you dnt have friends but he does and he's been hiding it? then swearing at you?
    WTH
    dn't you see how bad that is?
    =[

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    • serafina

      I knoooww :( :( :( he treats me like shit, yet i LOVE him so much man!!! he went to toronto and cornwall and ottawa this entire week, he's been going out of town, and i hate it :(. I cant deal with this any more, i cry every dayy, but... i cant leave him, and its driving me so crazy!!! :( </3

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  • Anonysmous

    Ok i'm a guy. He is embarassed of you or has another chick. Srry but thats the truth. He is hiding you for some reason and it's not good. Investigate and try calling him out on it. If you seem like you know he might cave.

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    • serafina

      but like his parents and sisters knows we're dating. And we lived together for 5 months til we moved back home and when i think he has another chick, cuz thats all i think about, i tell myself that his family knows about me so ... I dont know what to do!

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  • SuMaFTW

    End the relationship: he should not yell at you or curse at you. Learn the lesson: in a relationship, you shouldn't be trying to change the person, but to learn who the person is. Move on. Find someone who has more balance in his relationship. I've been married 10 years: each of us has their own stuff, and we know each other's passwords. Do I ever check her stuff? In 10 years, only two times. Does she check my stuff? Who knows... Most likely.

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  • nakedman

    i dont mean this in a hurmful way but...

    maybe he isnt the guy u thought u knew? he seems a control freak. i would break up wiv him if i were u. im srry but it seems like u mite have to move on if u cant trust each other enough to share info.

    i understand he might want a bit of pivicy but it doesnt give him the right to make u delete urs and go do tht behind ur back.

    maybe hes not 'The One'?

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  • ucipher8

    If you want to be in a relationship with some "hypocriscive" jerk who has to defend the fact that hes possibly leading another life that does NOT include you then you have every right, but seriously, if he has to get mad and swear at you for challenging his integrity based on a lie that you obviously uncovered from a moss covered rock over as old as "prehistoria" you should have ended the relationship a long time ago.

    I know its a hard fact to realize but, im sorry thats not acceptable. If he wants to think that he can lead a double life while you cant he's just another greedy cocksucker WAITING for a smack in the face, figuratively or LITERALLY. Pack up your shit and tell him you contracted herpes. If hes as smart as he thought, he would know that you contracted the disease from him and leave him in a sense of constant guilt for his unholiness.

    If he ever confronts you about the lie, tell him the truth with your brolic-ass husband (friend otherwise) by your side and watch him run away with his tail between his legs. Men who do unfaithful dirty shit like that deserve to be reincarnated as ants that get fucking stepped on.

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  • TyLee

    And trade pics :( it was horrible of course he was an asshole about it and lied about it first until I threatened to leave him if he didn't tell the truth.

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  • TyLee

    I am sorry!!!! my boyfriend did the same exact thing to me (we were together for four years) he was using it to have cybersex with other girls. I really feel your pain!!

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  • howaminotmyself

    It sounds like both of you have trust and control issues. You are not right for each other.

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  • Nadii

    What happened to the old saying 'Chicks before d*cks'?
    Keep your friends gal, dump him.
    Yes it may be hard for you the first few months but you will soon realise, that this is not healthy.
    He is trying to control you or has another girl.

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  • amili

    Omg grow up and stop acting like a child. He is not the only living male specimen on this earth ya know. I feel embarrassed for you - why are you making yourself so desperate? It's pathetic. Grow a pair and dump him..'simple. And get on with your life.

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  • moomus

    U deserve better

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  • emilieda

    Dump him 22222222

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  • koifish

    You sound a bit controlling. He's probably getting sick of you and wants space.

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  • Iamembarrassed24/7

    He is cheating on you plain and simple

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  • kellstar

    Sorry to say but sounds like he is cheating on U!! Y else would he hide it and not put u on his msn? It's just not normal. If u don't dump him u only have yourself to blame for future heartbreak. Means nothing if his parents know about u, there's obviously someone on his secret msn that doesn't know about u. As for deleting your friends and not talking to them because of him, bad... Very very bad!! Dump the lying looser and find someone truthful!!

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  • Bug uh dump that a-hole. He's deft seeing someone else Nd if he's the kinda guy who one: made u stop tlking to ur friends for him d 2: yells bs swears at u for asking questions, he either is hiding somethin big or has anger management problems. Dump him, don't let urself b used

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  • BatZion

    u folks are weird and ur boyfriend is controlling jerk for deleting ur stuff in the first place.

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  • AbnormalGuy

    ok, if he seriously does not want to add you and he swears at you when you ask about it.. dump him, yes its a small thing that doesn't seem important, yes you have already been together for 16 months.. well, dump him

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  • bigfatkittycat

    OMG Dump him! don't waste your time, there are TONS of guys out there. there should be no secrets like that in a relationship, and obivously he's hiding something or he's hiding you

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  • PowaOvaWhelmU

    how are people this.... this...... utterly retarded

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  • Jen118584

    I just read this and number one, I can't believe you would forsake all your prior relationships for one guy. Why would you even have to? That doesn't even make any sense. This relationship was unhealthy from day one. You both don't want the other person to have any other friends or what? I am baffled.

    Number two, I can understand your confusion as to why he won't add you to that MSN but I think it's silly to make a huge deal about it. You really shouldn't mind if he talks to other girls, you know, innocently and as friends. It IS a problem if he expects you to never speak to other dudes, though. That's just controlling and manipulative. I don't know how old y'all are but this all sounds very juvenile to me. You shouldn't be with someone that you don't trust at all. Isn't it exhausting to worry about it? You're only 18 I see, how much more time can you spend worrying about this and keep your sanity?

    My advice to you, since you don't trust him and since it is my opinion that your relationship is unhealthy in the first place, is to dump him and try to get your friends back. Next time you get into a serious relationship, remember that a healthy trusting relationship should never require you to sever your ties with friends or family. You gotta keep your own life and your own identity.

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  • Idontlikemyrealname

    He obviously doesnt give a shit about you, you shouldnt ever do anything like stop talking to your friends for someone who can betray you so easily. You cant be too bright to be wondering what to do about it, he clearly doesnt want you in his life which is why youre not on his msn 8-)

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  • hashbrowns

    u really need to consider urself in all this and ur health. put urself first for once (it seems thats wot hes been doing anyway) and move on. break away before things get worse

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  • Justin_Case

    Dump Him Find A New Man

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  • zerocats

    2 words for you..... dump him

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  • serafina

    he says he needs his privacy too thats why he doesnt want to add me. But what the hell? Does that make sense??? Please tell me what you think of this!

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  • carib_kid

    you seem a bit controlling....hmmmmm

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