Just a few words to share

I didn't come hear to talk about Jesus but now that "gloryhole" mentions it, it seemed to answer a lot of my problems.

I'm kind of like you. In the sense that I used to be needy but found myself surrounded by people who could not give a shit or used me so I built walls. And I don't know how to bring them down. Sometimes I feel like I have a deep profound love for others but when it comes down to it I can be pretty heartless.

I think it started when my father had to take on both roles because my mother was mostly vacant from my life. So he was a nurturing but he was also pretty stern and I'm ended up resenting him for it because I never had the security that a mother would have provided. Then he died, the only person I really knew and who knew me. I basically can't trust anyone with my feelings.

Big woop, right?

Everyone has pain. Everyone's got stuff to work on. Whatever you're running from, just let go. It's gonna hurt but it will hurt much more if you never let those walls down. You'll always be alone. I can't live like that.

Good luck.

Get active. Guitar, athletics, weekend trips. You probably need help learning to pleasantly interact with people you don't know in social situations. It's a life skill.

I can only think of one thing that might help you. To start with it doesn't require you to get involved with other people, you don't have to join a group, no obligation, and it's inexpensive. Go to a second hand store, like Goodwill, and for a buck or two get a copy of the Holy Bibel, turn to the 4 gospels: Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John and read about Jesus. Read about what kind of person He was, the things He taught, and how He lived his life. If you really aren't happy with your life and the person you are, this should solve your problem. Good luck!

Everyone is fucked up.Probably the amount of people that are exactly like you but don't acknowledge is really high.At least you know it.

don't change a thing , just add on.maybe learn guitar compose songs and sing them, cause u write good

The longer you keep a wall up, the worse it gets. You're gonna have regrets because you're always stopping yourself. Trust me when I say having regrets is worse than failing. You may not understand that now, but if you don't change, you will.

The first step you could take is finding a way to tell that girl you like how you feel. I doubt she would laugh at you. That's pessimism on your part. Focus on positive outcomes rather than the negatives. Even if she does laugh in your face it won't be as bad as doing nothing at all.

You should try sucking cocks.