It it ever ok to start a relationship with a teenager? part two
You may ask what is it that attracts you to her? Obviously I find her very beautiful. I believe that chemistry is vitally important in a relationship, and I would not want to establish one without that spark. From my side there is definitely “something†there. The way we catch each other’s gaze, it’s bleeding obvious to me to be absolutely honest. I’d be lying if I said that blind lust was not present at all. I’ll be honest, it is. But I recognise that starting a relationship on that basis alone would end up with nothing but hurt, mainly for her, but plenty for me too. I’m a caring person and I don’t want it.
I am a committed Christian, and one of the biggest things that draws me to her is that she is also. Jesus is central to our lives. We live our lives though him. I hear you say: what about another Christian girl? one who is older? To that I say – YES, of COURSE! But one with whom I have found such a spark I have yet to meet. Should I extinguish this spark before it has a chance to burst into flame? Blazing fire? I have not looked for this spark in one so young. But I have found it nevertheless.
Her maturity is also age defying. She acts and talks like an adult woman. There is another girl at the church who is circa 20 years old. I would not contemplate asking her out in a month of Sundays, she is just a kid, in terms of maturity. I would be bored out of my mind with her. In contrast, conversation with the special girl is a lot of fun!
I’m not asking if this is normal. Doubtless, many people will think it is not.
I’m just writing my feelings in the hope that someone with wisdom may guide me to the right decision. If that happens then the inevitable tirade of abuse and name-calling will have been worth it. As things stand no one knows anything of my feelings toward her. I’d imagine she probably suspects it, given she has also been part of the aforementioned conversations and events where our eyes have locked across a crowded room, ha ha, how cliché.
To all those folks who want to call me a paedophile: Go right ahead. I’m not a paedophile. I have morals. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know my intentions are good. But is that enough? How do you convince the people who matter? Her parents? My parents? I haven’t convinced myself yet.
I’m afraid if I forget the whole thing then I’ll miss the chance. Years from now, I don’t want to helplessly look back and wish I’d acted.
If I do start a relationship with her. The one thing I know I must have is extraordinary patience.
Sincerely
Jamie
England, UK