It is normal that i like to be alone - as in single?

58% Normal
6 Comments

Every time I meet an all around stellar woman, who is nice and stable I start out really liking her but then I find myself not interested - usually 4 or 5 months in, when she has fallen for me. I become dis-interested, I start finding things wrong with her, not wanting to have sex, not wanting to care - just not wanting anything that resembles a relationship. Over the last few years I always fall hard for women who are not all around good women - I fall for women who do not make good mates but I push nice, stable women away. :/ ... I'm 28 ... and I really wish I didn't have this mentality. What does this mean?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 52 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • kellstar79
    12 years ago

    Could be psychological? Maybe see someone that can help. I did that and I found out why I do it and I've never been happier since!

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  • kellstar79
    12 years ago

    Also on a personal level, did your parents break up when you were very young? That was what my issues turned out to be. It's a rejection and abandonment issue. Yours may be something completely different though

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  • Milenajonijon
    12 years ago

    My brother is like u. I hate watching these poor girls fall for my bro only to get cheated on and dumped a few months in. Im also very independent so I chose to be single. It's scary at first but after a while it's fun because u can do whatever u want all the time, no really, all the time! But I prob should have been born a guy and I'll prob never get married ;) and ur right, even in relationships it's eat or be eaten. If ur not in control someone else is. But it's not always bad to lose control, just means ill pob get hurt sooner or later.

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  • prodige
    12 years ago

    Everyone has some great advice. Thank you all. When I date I am looking for a permanent relationship (at least that is what I tell myself and I do desire that), but I do feel like being in a relationship requires obligations that I do not feel like abiding by. I know ... such a contradiction. :(. I do kind of see love as power ... the person who is most interested in the relationship or most needy, usually has the least amount of power. Maybe I should see a therapist to iron some things out? My parents did get divorced when I was young but old enough to understand. I just dont know where to go from here ... its like what I think I want, I dont actually want ...

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    At least you arent so awkward that you send them running for the hills the minute you open your mouth to talk to them.

    Perhaps you are just a serial dater. You dont like the relationship itself, you just like the idea of being in a relationship.

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  • Alison89
    12 years ago

    Maybe it just means that you aren't really ready for a relationship yet. It could also be that you haven't found the right one yet. There's nothing wrong with either of those, in my opinion. Those feelings you have are valid feelings. I think it's better for you to push them away rather than keep them, like a lot of people do.

    When you start dating a girl, are you looking for someone to be your permanent mate or are you just looking?

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